Chapter 39: Too much

I felt my breath hitch in my throat as my eyes caught a fully beaded ball gown with a high neck and open back. It was hanging right across from me, and I swallowed, my eyes unable to leave it.

"You should check these. You have a beautiful figure, and a mermaid or a trumpet style would look good on you. These laces will also complement your skin color, but if you don't want the overly fitting ones, there are a few with detachable skirts over the slimmer gown."

I nodded, then turned to check them. Some of the mermaid styles opened to large, almost cloud-textured material downwards. They looked good, but that one...

I sighed, giving in to my childhood dreams. The dreams that had grown so distant that I had stopped chasing them. The dreams that James had unknowingly handed back to me the way he had been the centerpiece of snatching it from me.

Now, I am here, and my fake husband waiting in the dressing room. I had already gone as far as I could. There was nothing more to be ashamed of.

"I want that one."

She turned to it, and her brows immediately furrowed. "Well, ma'am, because of sir, I would let you try it out, but it is already reserved."

"Reserved?"

She nodded. "We forgot to take it off the shelves, and I am acknowledging that mistake by letting you try it, but you wouldn't be able to buy it."

I nodded. "It's fine. I don't want to buy it anyway."

She nodded, obviously relieved, then brought it to me. She held it delicately, and I couldn't help but notice how carefully she was handling it.

"Who... reserved it?"

"It is Mr. Ferguson's wife. She reserved it for her eldest daughter. The dress is made of real diamonds, and she needed a bit more time to bring the remaining amount."

I nodded slowly. I knew the Ferguson family. Very influential, one of the snotty ones who visited the suburbs with massive cameras just so they could flaunt their "kindness."

She led me away from the section, and then towards the dressing room.

"Sir is on the other side, and your dresses are in here. There is a curtain in between, and it is automatically opened once you press the green button inside."

"Thank you," I said with a small breath.

"I will get your smaller items, like hair pins, lingerie, and bags ready."

I nodded again, the idea of lingerie not skipping me. But at this point, I knew there was little I could do.

I opened the door and walked into the dressing room. It was large and illuminated with a massive mirror covering one wall and the dark curtains covering the other.

The wedding dress was right behind, and I decided to start with a few random dresses. Luckily, the one I was wearing was easy to get out of, and I wore a simple silk dress. It had a cowl neck and was slit on either side upwards. The back, too, was open with a few strings crossing each other, and I started to wonder which part of the dress was actually closed.

I adjusted it, then slowly pressed the green button. The curtains opened, and I walked out to Sin.

He was sitting on the couch, his eyes focused on his phone, the desserts and wine in front of him untouched.

He turned to me, then slowly took me in, his gaze burning through every exposed skin.

"No," he said simply, then turned away.

Honestly, I was relieved, too.

I went back, then started to change. This time, it was a white dress. It was large, with a sweetheart neckline and pearls bordering on it. It had a slit too, and I wondered if Sin would say no to this too. Unlike the other one, I did like this one.

I walked out again, and he looked up, then let his eyes trail downwards before he nodded. I smiled, subconsciously clapping my hands. He gave me a small, amused look before he turned away, his eyes focusing on his phone again.

After a few more dresses, I was completely bored of these ones. I chose the wedding dress next, and carefully reached out to it. I was sure to be as careful as I could be, my fingers delicately sifting through the material.

I slowly wore it, then turned towards the mirror. My lips parted as I took my reflection in.

I looked completely different, the dress fitting the curves of my body upwards, then flowing in a majestic gown downwards. It was the best thing I had seen all my life.

I ran my hands over the material, my eyes closing. I could see vivid imaginations of getting married. In an ancient castle that overlooked mountains of beautiful flowers and rainbows, of pretty children littering flowers on the carpet.

Of a man that was in love with me.

I opened my eyes, my lips parting as I shook my head. My treacherous mind had filled Sin in those far-off daydreams. I could see him, his expressionless eyes, his silky hair falling in perfect waves down his nape and over his left eye.

I could see him standing right there, and I knew it was all in my head.

The sting in my feet brought me back to life, and I turned away from the mirror. I should get this over and done with, so I can slip out of these heels.

I slowly walked to the curtain and took in a deep breath before I tapped on the green button. The familiar whirring sound of the curtains drawing apart came, and I took a step out towards Sin.

He seemed bored too, and unlike the other times he had looked at me, he didn't bother now and only gave a small nod.

"Sin?" I said.

"I bet it would be okay, Annalise."

I bit down on my lip. "Please look at me."

He didn't reply, his eyes fixed on the phone. I swallowed, then walked towards him, my feet hurting like a bitch. I gently leaned to him, then brought my right hand to his face.

If he could do it to me, why couldn't I do it to him?

His eyes met mine, and I gave a small smile, then leaned away, standing. His eyes slowly dropped from my eyes, and I took a few steps backward so I could show him.

His eyes took me in, and I watched his eyes slowly evolve the more he watched me. Emotions filled his eyes, and his lips parted, his phone barely keeping away from his hand. Slowly, he met my eyes again, then blinked, his lips parting again right after he had swallowed. I wasn't sure what I was doing, but maybe I was cracking him open. Maybe somehow, I was gaining entrance.

He blinked rapidly, then turned away, his eyes closing. He dropped his phone, then sighed.

"Why are you in a wedding dress?"

"Do you hate it?"

He opened his eyes and slowly turned to me. His brows were furrowed darkly, and he slowly shook his head. "I like it," he said in a quiet murmur. "I like it... too much."

I nodded, then started to step back further. "They said it's..."

My voice trailed off as my feet finally gave way, and I fell back, the dreadful sound of tearing material reaching my ears.