Chapter 4 Bittersweet
"She's our Luna, and I want you to respect that. I want you to respect her, and..."
His words blur together into white noise. All I can hear is her name echoing in my head. Stella. Stella. Stella.
Stella with her platinum blonde hair that reaches her thighs. Stella with her ice-blue eyes that sparkle like diamonds. Stella with her perfect porcelain skin and delicate features. Stella who fits into this pack like she was born for it.
She's perfect. Perfect for the White Moon Pack. Perfect for their Alpha. I bet Mason's parents are thrilled. After years of hoping he'd find his true mate, she finally appeared. Beautiful, elegant, and everything I'm not.
Syvne and Roman Grey love me like a daughter. They've always been kind to me. But I know they had reservations about my relationship with Mason. They smiled and said supportive things, but I saw the worry in their eyes. The hope that Mason would still find his real mate someday.
Now he has.
"Sage? SAGE!"
I jerk back to the present, realizing I've zoned out completely. My cheeks burn with embarrassment.
"Did you hear what I said?" Mason asks, irritation clear in his voice.
"She's our Luna," I repeat back to him quietly, barely above a whisper. "And I should... respect her."
The words taste like poison on my tongue. I don't believe them. Don't want to say them. But I'm too ashamed and broken to argue.
"Yes. Thank you." Mason exhales like I've lifted a weight off his shoulders. "I know this is strange for both of us, but this is still your home, Sage. You're still part of this pack."
He steps closer to the bed, and my heartbeat goes crazy. Every instinct screams at me to turn around. To look at him. To memorize his face one more time.
When he reaches the edge of the bed, he stops. I can feel his eyes on me, and I wonder what he sees. Does he see the girl he grew up with? The woman he made love to just two weeks ago? Or does he see nothing? Just an obstacle to his new perfect life?
"You're part of this pack, Sage," he says again. "What we had, we can think of it as the past and move on. Stella will be a great Luna, but you can still help like you always do. We can all make White Moon Pack better and stronger together. Okay?"
Together. He wants us all to work together like we're one big happy family. Like he didn't just rip my heart out and stomp on it. Like I'm supposed to smile and serve the woman who torments me daily while watching the man I love worship her.
I nod because what else can I do? Luna retreats even deeper inside me, unable to bear this conversation anymore.
"Thank you, Sage. I really appreciate it." Mason's voice warms slightly, and when I peek through my lashes, I see him smiling.
That smile. That gorgeous, heartbreaking smile that used to be just for me. Now it's for Stella. Everything is for Stella.
His hand rests on the bed near my arm, and without thinking, I start to reach for it. We always held hands. Ever since we were kids. It was our thing—intertwining fingers, squeezing three times to say "I love you" without words.
My finger barely brushes his skin when he yanks his hand away like I've burned him. He actually steps back from the bed, putting distance between us.
The rejection physically hurts. Sharp and sudden like a knife to the gut.
I had no idea that would be the last time I'd ever touch him. If I'd known, I would have memorized every second of our last night together. Would have held on tighter. Kissed him longer.
Mason clears his throat awkwardly, straightening up. "I should go. Alpha duties."
Alpha duties. He used to say that to other pack members when he wanted to sneak away and spend time with me. We'd laugh about it later, hidden in his room or out in the forest where no one could find us.
Now he's saying it because he wants to leave me and go to her.
The sword that's been lodged in my heart since Stella arrived twists deeper. He's going to spend time with her. Touch her. Kiss her. All the things he used to do with me.
I watch through blurry eyes as Mason walks toward the door. Three steps away. Two steps. One step.
My stupid, hopeful heart whispers that he'll stop. That he'll turn around and take it all back. Say he made a mistake. Say he loves me, mate bond or not.
He doesn't stop.
He opens the door and walks out without looking back.
Just like that, he's gone.
And with him, every last bit of hope I had for us dies too.
When evening comes, the entire pack gathers in the banquet hall for another celebration of Mason's mate. Seems like every day there's a new party for Stella. A new reason to worship her and show her how perfect she is for our Alpha.
The kitchen staff has been working nonstop, creating elaborate feasts. Other pack members decorate the halls with flowers and lights. Everyone is so excited about their new Luna.
Everyone except me.
After Mason left my room, I took a bath. Scrubbed my skin until it turned red and raw. Washed my hair three times trying to get rid of the smell of fish and salt. Then I crawled back into bed and slept until the noise from downstairs woke me up.
I haven't moved since then. Haven't eaten. Haven't done anything except lie here staring at the ceiling while the celebration goes on without me.
Even from up here, I can smell the food. Hear the laughter and music. The whole pack is down there having the time of their lives while I hide in my room like a wounded animal.
"Luna, are you there?" I reach out to my wolf, desperate for any kind of companionship.
"I'm here," she responds, but her voice sounds so small. So defeated.
"Do you regret it?" I ask the question that's been haunting me all day. "Do you regret saying yes to Mason that night?"
Silence stretches between us. I can feel her sadness, her confusion, her pain. We're supposed to be one being, but right now we're both so lost and broken that we can barely function.
"I don't know if I have the answer to that, Sage," she finally says.
I squeeze my pillow tighter. Just last week, Mason surprised us with a trip to a secret hot spring he'd found during patrol. He'd kept it hidden just for us. Made sure no one else knew about it.
Luna and I had the best day of our lives. She spent the morning running through vast meadows with Grey, Mason's wolf. I spent the afternoon relaxing in the warm water with Mason. At night, we watched the Northern Lights together—something we'd done countless times but never got tired of.
We thought nothing could be better than that. Thought Mason was our forever.