My family accepts the situation just about as well as I did at first, with the hope that they will soon wake up. Unfortunately, this dream is not going to end any time soon.
My health improves from their postponed return home. Days pass as a human before the onslaught of the fever. The pain is nothing compared to before Christmas. Tim’s presence changes everything and Adam’s constant pull during the night ensures I can stay in my chosen form.
"It would be best during a full moon," Johnnie informs my family while I take down the Christmas decorations.
"What’s up with werewolves and a full moon," My brother asks, something I’ve been pondering.
"It’s easier to see in the forest," Johnnie answers with a shrug.
Exchanging a look, I watch the doubt on his face. There has to be more. This pack is good at hiding things. Tim and I get the challenge to see what they’re hiding
"What about work," My mom asks still concerned over all the details.
"It’s better for their transition if Tim and Addie stay here for the first year. If you want to move with them, temporarily or permanently we can make all the arrangements that you require," Johnnie answers.
"There are plenty of companies within the area that could use your experience, Tess," Adam confirms placing garland into one of the totes, “We’d take care of all the paperwork. You’d only need to give us a start date.”
Watching my mom in the mirror, the hesitation and fear punctuates each sentence. The grimacing expression doesn’t seem to be about her children being wolves but concern with leaving home. Her family can track their heritage in that town for generations. None of them ever leave.
I bite my tongue. I’m learning that this new path is an individual decision. My mom will have to make up her own mind.
“I don’t know if I can allow it,” My mom says, sitting back in her chair, “Both of them might die.”
"Blood bonds are the strongest connection. It will link them to each other and to this world,” Johnnie answers, expressionless as she continues to plague him with questions.
Her eyes narrow at that answer. The bond or the pulling that I feel is something that isn’t easy to explain. Adam used it to help me transition the first time. Almost every night he uses that same force to keep me in one form or another.
Tim grabs the end of the garland, “I’m not going to watch you die,” he whispers before taking the garland and walking to the box.
“Where are the others like Addie,” My mom presses, the look of triumph on her face, “I’d like their opinion.”
Staring at Adam, even he lowers his eyes. None came for the holidays. They flat out refuse Adam when he requests their presence.
“Bridging two worlds is difficult,” Johnnie answers.
I understand why they won’t get involved. If I had the chance to do it again, I don’t know if I would make the same choice. Their opinion isn’t bias, it’s a flat-out rejection to this process.
#
"Addie," Tim’s booming voice calls through the woods.
Running towards the noise, the scent fills my nostrils as I race through the packed snow. I now understand why everyone smelled me when I first came to town. The aroma from Tim and my mom are completely different. My mother doesn't really smell like anything, vanilla at most. Tim smells of the woods. A deep strong smell of mossy paths, thick strong trees, and flowing streams radiates from deep within. That smell, the sensation that it brings, is on every wolf.
"Can you change," Tim asks while watching me paw at the dirt.
Finally having some control over my change, I could but neither of us would like it. He still doesn't realize I don't shift with clothes on and I’m not going to stand next to my little brother naked. Trying to get him to follow me down a side trail, I bark before he finally walks in my direction.
"This is... this is... it's... hmmm," He starts while I stare up at him, "This is crazy.”
Not having the ability to express my feelings as a wolf, I can’t give him my opinion. It is crazy but he’s handling this much better than I did. At the same time, the delivery was much better compared to someone breaking into his home.
"How did we not know about this?"
"It’s easy to hide," Johnnie says emerging from a separate trail, "Come, I have something to share with the two of you."
After walking to his house, I change in a separate room. A nice thing about this pack is there are all types of clothes stored everywhere for people to change. Most are mismatched but it’s better than the alternative.
Johnnie stirs the fire, "It’s easy to keep the truth hidden when a wolf mates with a human.”
"Could someone in our family have found a wolf and shifted like Addie but keep it a secret," Tim asks.
"It’s very unlikely. Your color makes it hard to hide. Even now the wolves are watching your family,” Johnnie answers.
"How do we tell them," Tim gruffly questions.
Johnnie sits back, his eyes focused on the wooden floor, "The only reason no one has reached out to the rest of your family is because of Adam. He wants it to be your choice on who you tell but only after you understand the risk. Are your grandparents still alive?”
Mirroring each other, we shake our head. They died when we were younger. I don't remember either well, other than being intimidated by my grandmother. My grandfather survived only a few years longer than she did.
"How many siblings did they have," Johnnie continues to pry.
"Didn't grandpa have like fourteen or sixteen," I ask turning to my brother.
"Something like that," My brother confirms, "And grandma like four?"
"I don't know. I don't remember hearing anything about her side. Mom would know," I answer wondering why Johnnie hasn’t discussed any of this with my mother.
She might not be a wolf but her knowledge of the family is a lot better than ours. Johnnie’s digging for information and we can’t help.
"Did all of his siblings live past infancy," Johnnie continues his stoic expression making it hard for me to understand what he is trying to find.
"I think so, most of them at least, right," I ask Tim who nods while shrugging.
Heat rushes to my cheeks as the shame continues to spread. I should know more about my own family. That side never lived in town. We took trips to visit but all that stopped when I was a young child. Things changed after my dad died. After that pivotal moment, that side decided we were outsiders.
"It isn't important. A wolf tends to have many children. Even during times when child mortality is high, almost all of the children survive to adulthood. I believe your grandfather was the link."
"We have some cousins, can they change," Tim asks.
"It isn't a guarantee. You may not be able to turn, Tim," Johnnie says, his eyes gazing at the fire as his thoughts drift, "The genes become recessive the further one is from full wolves.”
“We don’t have first cousins,” I correct Tim. He’s thinking of our second cousins who we played with at our grandparent’s farm. Our dad’s siblings all died without any children, “We have second and third cousins.”
Johnnie tilts his head to the side, “Adam’s calling for you.”
At the door, I turn, wondering why Johnnie’s prying. He meets my gaze but his eyes are a blank.
Slowly walking the trails of the forest, I can’t help but notice the stillness. There isn’t a sound as the soft snowfall muffles every noise.
"Aren't you cold?”
"No, I can't feel the cold," I answer as the snow squishes between my toes.
"You're making me cold," Tim states shivering before looking away.
The walk is quiet. It isn't uncommon for us to sit in the same room for hours and never say more than five words to each other. Now that we have this strange experience looming over us, we have even less to discuss.
"Do you think you would mind moving up here?”
The guilt of making him give up everything is weighing me down. What I’m asking isn’t fair.
"I do like country living," Tim states with a shrug, "College can wait. I hate it anyways."
He’s trying to make it sound like a great plan but he’s hesitant. If he had a choice, he wouldn’t relocate. The yearning to get away from home was mine alone.
Emerging from the path, two beautiful women stride towards the lodge. As Tim gawks at their naked bodies, they laugh and run inside.
"Yeah, I could move," He quietly states, his eyes following the two beauties.
I should have told Adam to start with a scene like this to convince my brother to stay. Tim is single, and the goddess-like female wolves are everywhere.
Adam waves from one of the balconies before jogging down the steps. His eyes follow Tim's stare. Deep inside, I feel a bit of jealousy. I’m rare but not gorgeous.
Adam faces us with Tim staring over his shoulder, "There are flocks of girls just like that in the summer.”
"Really," Tim asks giving a wide, child-like smile.
Adam winks at me before I can cast my gaze at the falling snow.
"Can I ask you something," I inquire, "Who is Sam? Sarah says he was too busy to come back for Christmas but he’s finally coming home."
"We should go for a walk," Adam suggests before Sarah’s face appears in the window.
Leaving Tim to his own devices in the lodge, we walk to the edge of the frozen lake. For a while, I'm not sure he is going to answer but after checking the lodge a few more times, he finally begins.
"Everyone knows Sarah loves Sam. She’s chased him for years. Isaac forces Sam to stay away from her."
"Why," I interrupt.
"Sam is a lot older than Sarah and has a bad history with women. Isaac doesn't want Sarah to get hurt," He inches closer while lowering his voice and I find myself leaning in to hear more, "When you see Sam, you will notice a large scar across his face, Isaac gave him that as a reminder to stay away."
"Really," I ask, stepping back at the shocking news.
Permanently scaring a friend is absurd. I dated a bad guy and hate the pain I still feel but I don’t think I could let Tim harm him.
"Most men in the pack don't like him but the woman do," Adam says sitting on a bench overlooking the lake.
I can’t help but laugh, "You make it seem like you haven't had your fair share of fun."
Every girl in town drools over Adam. I’ve yet to learn anything about his personal life but I doubt he has a hard time finding a date.
"I'm not like that," He growls in defense, his face pulling back as if I slapped him, "I don't treat women like he does. He just wants a conquest."
"Ok," I reply backing down to his barking voice and learning quickly that his dating life is off the table.
“I’m a one girl kind of guy,” Adam hesitantly admits.
I can’t help but turn as his eyelashes flutter up, trapping me in the depth of his gaze. Not knowing what else to do, I run behind a tree and take off my shirt.
Tim interrupted my run and I’m not ready to go inside. Shifting into a wolf, I paw at his feet. There’s amusement as he smiles down at me while resting his head on his hands. I yelp and whine as the snow flies up around me.
"No," He says shaking his head.
Climbing onto the bench, my wet paws streak designs across his shirt. I want to run and I don't want to do it alone. Adam told me he would never say no to a run. Gently pulling my paws off from him, my ears sit backwards as I cry out.
"No," He says again shaking his head but there’s amusement in his voice.
Snapping my mouth at him, instantly changes his mood. He glares. I'm not sure what I did. His eyes narrow as I snap again and leap from the bench. Adam’s expression remains dark as he stands and strips.
I leap around, waiting for him to finish before he bounds into me, knocking both of us into the snow. The unexpected blow takes me by surprise as he continues to pin me to the ground. Licking my ear stops me mid-whine. He continues cleaning the top of my head before running into the woods.
My mind wanders to my New Year's resolution. There are dozens of resolutions but this year, I have one. My only resolution is to stay alive. The past two months scared me. This New Year’s resolution should last past February, I hope.