Chapter 93: She don't remember me

Danalii Pov

I watch as she walks into the bathroom. She's still perfect just like I remember her. She still has that smile that turns me stupid and turns my stomach inside out.

She don't remember me though. I don't know why I thought she would but I did.

I run my hand through my hair. Of course she don't remember me, last update I received from the doctor was that she was awake and had memory loss that may or may not come back.

I want nothing more than to pull her in my arms again and this time keep her there. I want to tell her who I am, tell her I remember everything. I can't do that though she looks so happy and that's not fair to her and it's not fair to Spencer. They deserve to be happy together. She deserves to be with someone like Finley Spencer.

He's a really great person. His my best friend.

He loves her, I knew it from the first time at the bar when he told me about her. She loves him she just told me she did. He can love her better then I ever could. I couldn't be with her fully, I couldn't be anything to her so maybe it's better this way.

"Shitttt!!" I scream out in frustration.

I punch the wall by the window.

Fuck that hurt but it helped a little.

My heart feels like it was ripped out of my chest. She doesn't remember me! Why does this still hurt so bad. "Fuckk!!" I yell out loudly.

I need a drink. I take two. I hear the door open so I turn towards her.

"Did you say something?" She asks coming out of the bathroom. She looks kinda pale.

"Just yelling about the fight I guess. Are you okay? You look a little pale. Maybe you should sit down." She doesn't look right. Somethings wrong with her.

"I'm fine. I think those shots just went right to my head. I'm going to head down to Finn. Are you heading down too?" She asks.

I nod "Yeah in a minute, I'm going to take a shot and head down, I'm up soon"

"Okay see you out there" she says heading to the door. She turns and waves, I wave back to her.

"River" I say before I can stop myself.

She stops, grabs the door and shakes her head like she's dizzy.

"Are you sure your alright?" I ask her again. "Do you need some water?"

"Yeah, sorry I'm alright." she shakes her head again like she needs to clear her thoughts "I'm good thank you."

"Maybe you should sit down for a second or two. I can tell you a joke while you drink a few slips of this water." I say waving my hand to the couch.

She hesitates for a moment before she nods and walks to the couch. My heart skips a beat as I grab a water and head over to her.

"Here, it's cold so it should help some" I say handing her the water. I can't decide if I should sit by her or if I should just stand.

Can I just sit by her and not want to reach out and hold her hand like I did the last time I saw her all those years ago?

I chose to stand it's safer.

I watch her as she takes a few sips of water. She looks uncomfortable and a little like she might puke. She looks me up and down again and blushes when she notices me watching her.

"I almost forgot I promised a joke. You might not know this about me but I'm king of corny jokes"

She laughs nervously and blushes again. She takes a drink of water and looks up at me.

"Okay let's see what joke to tell you, okay I got one

What do clouds wear under their shorts?"

"I don't know what?" She says smiling.

"Thunder pants!"

She laughs "I hope you have better jokes"

I put my hand my hand under my chin and tap it as I think.

"Okay how about this one then

Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties?"

She shrugs with a smile.

"Because they are such

fungis."

She laughs "Those are bad Nunzio, thank you for the jokes and the water." I nod and smile at her.

"Bye Nunzio be safe and good luck on your fight. It was nice to meet you." She smiles and waves as she stands and heads to the door.

"Bye River" I say watching the only girl I've ever loved walk out the door.

She turns and waves again.

I text Spencer really quick as she closes the door behind her.

Me- Hey just met your girl. She seems a little dizzy and pale, I gave her some water but you better keep a eye on her. Congratulations bro she's a keeper. Your lucky your my brother though.

Finn- Thanks for the heads up, she's had a long day already. Your funny Nunzio hands off brother but yes she is and when we get home I'm going to make her my wife! Your ass will be up there by my side brother. I'm glad you two met. I'll grab you later for a drink or two, I'm buying if you win but if you lose your buying. Your up next so get your ass down here.

"Ahhhh" I scream out as I punch the wall again.

"Fuckkk!!" I yell out.

He's going to marry her!

Of course he is, who wouldn't want to marry her she's perfect.

Perfect for him. They're probably perfect together.

I lost her a long time ago. I'm just Spencer's friend to her now.

I gave her up for her safety and I can't go back.

She's safe without me and she's safe to live her life and be happy.

I have to let her go.

I need to get my head back in the fight.

I quickly take the two shots I have poured and a few breaths.

She not mine, she never was and she can never be.

She's Finn's now. At least I know she's safe and loved. He will take care of her. He's a great guy and I can still see her if I wanted.

No, I can't see her! This was already too hard.

I lost her long ago, when I chose her safety over my heart.

I've never regretted that decision until today.

I will never regret putting her safety first but I will always regret letting her go.

Come on Danalii, get your head straight!

I take a few calming breaths and head out the door.

I walk out of the office and head to staging.