Chapter 89: He wants me too

River POV

He reaches up and puts his hand on mine.

After a minute he coughs and says "I just wanted to make sure you were okay enchantress I'll leave you to it" he turns to leave.

"Why do you always have to call me that?"

"Why do you always have to take it as something negative" he says turning back to me.

"Lucky" I say as I walk back over to him.

I quickly put my hand back on his chest and follow his burns with my hand down to his belly button, he feels like he's shaking under my touch.

They're just like mine, same size and in the same spots.

He's really tense and breathing heavily as he watches my hand roam his chest.

Touching all the scars I notice on him.

I look up to his face and see a sad look in his eyes and he looks scared.

"Your scars are just like mine" I finally gasp out.

His eyes get wide and he pushes my hands off him.

He looks at me for a minute, breathing rough and ragged.

A deep cough makes us both jump, he quickly says "You shouldn't just touch people, keep your hands and thoughts to yourself" he rushes back inside.

I'm more confused then ever, I turn and see Pickle standing there.

"Kitten" he says looking at me with a weird expression on his face.

"Hi Pickle" I smile at him.

"I'm just going back in" I say quietly as I try to walk by him.

He reaches over and pulls me in by my waist making me blush.

He leans down and puts his forehead to mine.

"Kitten, that girl was nothing. That happens sometimes, woman buy the back stage passes just to see if they can bag a night with a fighter. They don't matter and I hate that you seen that. I'm so sorry Kitten."

I can feel his breath in my face and I want to lean up and kiss him but I know it's wrong of me to want that.

"Pickle you don't have to apologize you haven't done anything wrong. It's just me. Everything right now is really confusing and overwhelming for me and sometimes I just need a minute to get my thoughts in order. Your not mine and it's not fair to you for me to be jealous and it's not fair to Finn either. So I'm the one that's sorry" I hurry and try to push passed him to go back in.

He quickly grabs me and pulls me up to his waist, I wrap my legs around him. He leans in and freezes, our noses are almost touching.

He's breathing heavily and his eyes are closed.

"Pickle" I say breathing heavy, It's like I can't catch my breath.

"Kitten, it's just you I want. It's only you I want" he say quietly.

He wants me too!

I crash our lips together quickly.

He pulls me into him tightly deepening our kiss.

He is a great kisser.

I'm melting and I'm so hot being this close to his body, I want more.

I want more of him, I want his hands on my body.

His mouth on mine completely clouds my thoughts.

We both finally pull away needing some air.

He gently moves the hair away from my face and tucks it behind my ear.

He leans his forehead head to mine softly.

"Pickle. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. It's not fair to either of you guys or me"

"Kitten don't worry about me or Finn we have worked everything out on our part. I'm yours always. I'm not going anywhere and Finn will be back for you and we can work everything out together when your ready"

"Pickle I'm just so confused and I can't just have you both and I know that. I just have all these feelings and I'm just so confused and scared" I start crying.

"Who says you can't have us both? I've never told you that and I know Finn has never told you that?" He looks at me and I can't break away from his beautiful green eyes.

"I don't know. It seems selfish and it's confusing I'm sure you guys are just as confused as I am"

"Kitten we're not confused and neither one of us is going anywhere. Everything that happens from here on is all your decision and at your pace."

I can't help it my emotions are too overwhelming.

I can't hold back anymore, I need him.

I grab his neck pulling him back to me as I kiss him again.

His lips are so soft and his hands are so warm against my back.

I deepen the kiss and he moves his hand to my ass and the other to my head to hold it firmly.

I pull back quickly.

"No wait, we have to stop. People are right it's not fair to put you in this position or him. I have to go in and find Finn. I'm sorry Pickle I can't put you thru this"  he just looks at me with hurt in his eyes.

"Fucking cocksucker! It was Lucky wasn't it?" He says a little loud and it makes me flinch back a little.

I quickly put my legs down and try to stand on my shakeing legs.

"Lucky did something didn't he? Is that what was happening out here? I knew it when I seen your hand on him, he never let's anyone touch him anywhere other then his dick"  he looks pissed now.

"What?! No! This isn't him, he doesn't even like me. I never wanted anyone ever and now I want two men. Two men who I fell for so fast and so hard and two men I couldn't ever live my life without and I don't want to ever lose or hurt either of you. Please don't be mad Pickle"

He picks me back up and just gently hugs me with all the might.

"River" he pulls back just enough to look me in the eyes.  "Kitten my love. You will never lose either of us I promise you we will never regret you and I will always be here in anyway, in any shape or form you need me in always"

I kiss him again.

Ive got to stop doing that but I can't help it.

I need him, I want him.

I want them both and I need them both with me.

"You guys won't make me choose?" I ask as I pull back from him, eyes full of tears.

"Never Kitten, never" he say caressing my face.

"Doll"