Chapter 33: I wonder what Finn thinks
Chailor POV
I'm so excited for River, I've always hoped for a good man to find her and help her out of her shell
She's the most amazing person I've ever met
I'm even happier it's Finn
He needs to open his heart
He's a great man, he deserves someone who can love him like he needs
We've had the best time getting to know each other over phone calls, video chats and our secret language GIF's
I knock on his door lightly
"Come In"
He's over by his closet digging through his duffel bag
"Nope your not wearing something out of that dusty ass bag boy"
He laughs
When he turns to me he says
"Let me guess you've already picked something out of Lincoln's closet for me and we're all going to be accidentally matching"
I laugh at his smartass remark
"Oh I didn't do this one on accident"
I laugh again
"There's some black slacks and a dusty pink button up shirt hanging in the closet"
"I put two pairs of shoes in there. I couldn't decide which ones I liked best, so you get to pick"
"Okay so I get to pick my shoes and that's it?" He snorts out a chuckle
"You can also style your hair how you want it"
I say winking at him
"I mean if that's too hard, I guess I could take another look" I say in a pretend huff
"No, no I got it ma'am" he says laughing aloud
now
"Good now be ready by two and bring a overnight bag and clothes to wear to the club"
"Okay boring stuff is out of the way, now spill" I quickly demand
He looks quickly away from me and I can see the
smile forming on his face as he does
It's the same one she had when I confronted her
My heart is so happy right now
Two of my favorite people might be getting together
"Okay I can tell by the look in your eyes you already know so I won't try to deny it"
"Ohhhh sweet face I knew the second you came out for breakfast"
I take a deep breath because I'm about to get serious on his ass
"Truth time love. You need to go slow she's not the type of girl you're used too. I know you feel that"
"I'm really glad she talked to you about her past"
He looks at me now with a knowing sadness in his eyes
"Sweet boy, I won't lie or sugarcoat anything for anyone and you know this."
"Her situation is going to make things rough and you'll feel like your on a roller-coaster sometimes."
"It will be hard for both of you just remember you guys on are that ride together, take your time and enjoy it.
"Remember when your feeling frustrated with her situation try and imagine how much more frustrating it is all for her."
"Let her lead you but keep gently pushing her for more, she will eventually trust you and let you in some more"
"She's amazing just trust her, she's still figuring things out just as much as you are"
He looks down at me and kisses the top of my head
"You really like her don't you"
"Of course I do" I notice he looks away slightly
"I've never met anyone like her"
"Finn, no I mean.. You really like her don't you?!"
I watch as he suddenly finds something fascinating on the ceiling and fidgets his feet
He slowly looks down at me with tears in his eyes
"Yes, I really do"
I put my arms around his waist and pull him into a hug
"I don't know what I'm doing, I'm leaving for a long time and I don't know how to let her go now"
I hear a small sniffle from my head where his chin rests now
"Sweet face, it's going to be hard"
" If anybody could do it it's you two"
He let's out a frustrated sigh
"Like I was saying it's going to be hard, probably harder before it gets easier but you'll never meet another girl who's more worth it"
I give him a tighter squeeze now as he hugs me back
"She's strong and she's loyal don't be afraid to open your heart to her"
"She can take it trust me"
He pulls away slightly and says
"I just don't know if I can"
He looks so sad
I gently put my hand on his chest
"Sometimes you have to open your heart and take that chance, I did and it terrified me. It still terrifies me every day but love is always worth the risk, no matter how it ends"
He's trying to hid the tears now
"Finn, your coming back"
He turns his head to me tears now streaming down his face.
He quickly pulls me in for a hug
"You'll be back for her, I know you will. You won't be gone forever and everyone you love will be right here waiting for you"
"Finn we love you and it's okay for you to love us back. It's okay for you to love her back"
He looks a little lighter now
"You never cease to amaze me Chailor" he quickly pulls me back into a hug
"I miss you guys, sometimes it's just really hard"
"I just feel like I'll always be the last to know the important things, I'll just be forgotten while I'm gone"
"Im afraid everything is just happening so fast and once I leave, it will all end just as fast as it started"
"I'm mostly afraid of hurting her or pushing her away by leaving but I can't expect her to just stand by and wait for me for two years or longer"
"How do you love someone after just a day?"
He let's out a frustrating breath his chest heaving a little
"I asked myself that everyday after my first date with your brother" I chuckle a little
I grab his hands and pull him to sit on the bed with me
"Can I tell you something that I haven't even told anyone not even your brother or River, something I want you to be the first to know"
He looks unsure but excited
"You haven't even told River?"
I shake my head
"I would be honored"
He says, that makes me tear up now
I take his hands. I'm so scared that everything will be ruined if I say it aloud
"I'm nervous about saying it out loud, I know it will change a lot of things but I have no doubt it would never change how Lincoln feels about me"
"You have to keep your mouth shut and your looks in check because I'm telling him today at the hotel before lunch and before our surprise"
I take a deep breath to give myself a second longer
I just found out a few days ago and I've been too scared to even tell River but in this moment With Finn I feel like he would be the perfect person to tell my little secret too