Chapter 144: Do you love him?

River POV

"I made him leave. He can't sort what he needs to in his head while he's here with his brother's and me mad at him"

He kisses her head.

She cries harder "I told him if he keeps picking the path his on not to come back. What if he don't come back?" She cries. I hate seeing her like this.

He holds her and keeps kissing her head.

"He'll do the right thing and come back"

"I would usually believe you but this time, I don't think he will. What if we lose him to this, to all his own guilt. Pickle you know how he gets what if he tries again?" Pickle shakes his head and tightens he's arms around her. "It's different this time he won't leave us now." He says and whispers something in her ear.

He kisses her, I see the pain and anger in his eyes.

I sits her back down by me and he walks out the door. I hear a loud crash and what sounds like the wall being ripped down.

She sobs harder. She's going to take a hot bath while I go get us some food. I go with her to start the tub and I head down.

The hall table is flipped and there's a Pickle sized fist hole in the wall.

I pick up the table and clean up what I can.

I see Pickle walking up the stairs he stops and without looking at me says "Me and Lucky are going to Mexico in the morning" he continues to walk to his room.

"Flame's in your bathroom" I yell behind him.

He stops and then continues on.

I hold back tears as I head to the dinning area. I get turned around but I find Mia and Crash talking.

"You got lost huh?" She laughs when she sees me.

"Yeah. Where's the dinning area?" I ask laughing.

"We'll take you" Crash says taking Mia's hand.

"Here's the camera Lucky left for you" Mia says handing me a camera.

"Thank you both"

I greet Annie and a blonde woman, maybe her mom. She looks young, maybe a year or two younger then me" we look a little alike.

"I'm Abby her mom. She said she found a mommy" she laughs. "I guess we do look alike"

"See, mommy." Annie says playing with my hand.

"I see her baby"

"It was nice meeting you Abby. Bye Annie"

"Bye mommy"

I wave but I hear Abby say "I'm your mommy not her. Stop wiggling and let me do you hair" she sounds irritated.

I head back up stairs. I open the door and Pickle grabs his bag and turns to walk out.

"I'll stay in the guest room down the hall. You and Flame can have my room"

I put the food down on his bed and follow him to the next room over.

"Would you just talk to me damn it!" I say putting my hand on his back.

He tenses. "What I can't even touch you now? I don't know what they lied about, I don't know what happened today! You can't blame me when I don't know what happened!" I yell at him.

He turns and looks at me "You don't know do you? You don't know how much affect you have on all of us. Me, Finn, Lucky, Brain even Flame. You just came into our life's and shook us up. Your a enchantress like Lucky says. Your connected to all of us."  He kisses my head and walks out. What the fuck is he talking about.

"I haven't even met Brain so I don't know how I runied his life." I scream at him.

"I wouldn't let everything fall apart. Not for them and not for you. I made a promise and I won't let him down like I did everyone else"

"Pickle please! That doesn't even make sense" I cry out to him.

"It will" he says putting his head down.

"Look at me!" I yell "Please!"

He takes a deep breath and turns to me and takes my hands in his.

"Do you love him?" He say holding my hands. My stomach drops.

"Is that what this is about? He was just showing me how to protect myself"

"Answer the question and please don't lie to me I've had enough of that" he says louder.

I cup his face and tip it to mine "I have never lied to you and I didn't lie to Finn when he asked about you. With you and Finn I just knew almost right away. I watched you from that line and you just filled in a part of me I didn't know was missing. I'm just as confused now as I was then. Lucky's different, it wasn't just instant, it didn't happen till he showed me who he really was. He still won't let me in he's scared he will hurt you. He love you. I love you."  He drops his head to my shoulder and buries it in my neck.

""Do I love him? I mean yes in a way I guess. I love Finn and I love you but I love you all in different ways.  Finn showed me it's okay to let someone in, he showed me I'm worth loving. You've showed me it's okay to love who I want and you make

me feel safe, grounded and like you can heal every broken part of me. Lucky makes me feel confused and frustrated but he also makes me feel things I've never felt. He makes me feel fearless and I think he's someone worth waiting for."

I looks at me "He's always frustrating but he's fun and he likes taking risks and pushing limits" I nod.

"I can say, that I did kiss him last night and I'm sorry that it happened before I had a chance to talk to you about it but I'm not sorry it happened"

He nods and puts his head to mine. He just stays like that breathing heavy for a long few minutes.

"That's the only answer I can give you. I need time to figure out my feelings for him and I need you to know that he will never replace you. Your stuck with me and your going to have a huge fight on your hands if you try this bulshit again. Now let's go put your bag back on your bed and let's get Flame and go watch the movie." I sigh and put my hand on his cheek. "I'm sorry Pickle."

He picks me up and pushes me to the wall. He crashes our lips together fiercely. We kiss till we both need air.

"Oh and what ever this bulshit you got going on where you won't touch me ends now." I grab his face "It ends now!" He looks at me with hunger in his eyes. He carries me to the bathroom and sits me on the counter. He shuts and locks the door as he pulls my pants off. His aren't far behind. He takes me hard and rough against the counter and door.