Chapter 126: Dear Finn

River POV

Dear Finn,

I've never sent a personal email before. Well to be honest I've never send a real letter before either. I just wanted to tell you how much I miss you and that I love you so much more then I miss you, I know it hasn't been long since you left but I couldn't wait any longer to tell you how much I love you. Things are shit already and that's probably not what you want to hear but I miss talking to you.

Pickle won't talk to me already and It feels like I lost you both and it's only been a day. He had a night terror and it was bad. He had me pinned against him and Flame had to help me get out of his arms. I'm fine, I promise I am but he told me he couldn't do this anymore and he can't put me in danger and he ran away. He just left, he walked away and I'm devastated. I don't know how to help him, how to let him know I'm just as broken and I forgive him.

Lincoln went to talk to him but it's like he's scared of me now. I wish you were here to help, I know that's not far of me to say but I really do. What if me and him don't work without you? What if your the glue that's holding us together and with you gone I'm just messing it all up.

Please be careful out there. I'm always here thinking of you. Loving you. Wishing you were here inside me. Lol and yes saying that made me blush. Me, Flame and Chailor are having a girl's night and yes they're making me drink so be prepared for a flirty and dirty email later.

I love you with everything I am.

Love River

I push send and head back in the kitchen.

"Why are you all red?" Chailor asks looking at me as I sit next to her.

"I'm not!" I say a little louder then I mean to.

"Yes you are!" Flame says as she throws a popcorn chicken at me.

Laughing I reply "Fine! I was just sending Finn a quick email.

"Must of been a steaming email to get you that red" Chailor says laughing again.

Flame hands me another drink, she's still laughing as I change a darker red.

Pickle POV

I see Lincoln at the table and make my way over to him. I took 3 showers but I can still smell the whiskey on me. I drank till I passed out then I woke up and drank the rest of the bottle then went a few rounds with Lucky in the ring and I still feel just as guilty and heartbroken. I miss her already.

"Hey, I ordered us some drinks and a appetizer" he says as I sit down. I sit unable to meet his eyes.

"Thanks brother" I say with my head down.

I run my fingers through my hair. I feel like I'm letting everyone down. I let her and Finn down why not everyone else.

"I'm sorry Lincoln" I say with my head down. My stomach turns from all the guilt and whiskey.

"Don't be sorry. Just fix it. She's broken man, I can't have that." He says sternly.

"I know. I just don't know if I can" I say sadly "I fucked up and it's unforgivable."

I don't, I really don't know how to fix it. How can I ever just hold her knowing what could have happened.

"Pickle what happened wasn't something you had any control over and she said to tell you when your done feeling sorry for yourself, she's where you left her and her feelings haven't changed" he says proudly.

Damn girl that was like a kick in the balls. He should be proud of her for that I am.

I nod my head.

"I fucked up and I don't know how to fix it" I finally admit to him.

"There's only one way to fix it Pickle, you have to talk to her"

"I know" easier said then done. What do I say? How do I fix this? Lincoln just has a calming presence to him. We eat and talk not just about what happened but about everything and it's honestly the best talk I've had with anybody.

My phone rings as we're finishing up. It's a weird number.

"Yes" I say waiting to see who it is.

It's kinda staticky then some clicking "Pickle can you hear me?" His voice makes me nervous at first and I get a lump forming in my throat as I answer "Finn? Is that you brother?" I ask.

"Yes. I have to be fast, I got a email from our girl. What are you doing? Get your ass up and go talk to her. She loves you and trust me she's not going anywhere. Swallow your pride and go to her. She's scared and thinks she's lost us both. Right now what your doing is hurting her, you promised and I can't hit you but I bet Lucky will do it for me" he laughs. I miss that laugh. We didn't get much time to spend together but I've really missed this man.

"It's really good to hear your voice, I never thought I would miss another man this much. I know your right but I need to be king of my pity party first. It really scaried me brother. I could have really hurt her." I start shaking at the thought of what could have happened.

"I miss you too brother. She's more scared that she lost you then what happened this morning, trust me and trust her. She used her words and you need to do the same. Now let me say hi to my brother quickly so I have time to call our girl. Kiss her for me and give her a smack on that perfect ass for me" he laughs "and Pickle I love and miss you too man now finish your pity party and go home she's waiting."

"I love you too Finn stay safe" I quickly hand the phone to Lincoln. I can't belive he called from the middle east to tell me to get my head out of my ass.

Lincoln talks for a minute and then he waves me over.

"Pickle, keep a eye on that Randy dude. My brother likes him but something about him isn't right. Watch him around her too, he's a bit creepy and after what happened at the club I don't trust him. I got to go but I'm glad you and Lincoln are hanging out. Bye Pickle"

"I will for sure, I've already had my suspicions. Bye Finn" I feel better about myself and my head is clearer now. I trust Finn and I guess just hearing everything from his mouth helps put it all in perspective. It's not up to me to decide if what I did is forgivable it's up to her.

Me and Lincoln head out to meet this Randy dude. If Finn don't trust him then either do I.