Chapter 113: We would never hurt you honey

River POV

His body tenses again. "Shhhh it's me Kitten, feel my hand on yours. My touch is safe, my touch is love" I say softly. Finn nods at me and smiles.

He slowly walks to Pickle's other side.

"Shhhh It's Finn. I'm here brother. Breath through it. We've got you just breathe."

I move my hand slowly to his wrist. I'm trying so hard not to just crash my body to his and hug him with all my might.

"I'm moving my hand towards your arm. Can you feel how warm my touch is, this is real. Please follow my voice honey." I talk slow and soft as I move my hand.

He shivers and he lightly lifts his head.

"Pickle, can you hear me brother I'm here next to you. Feel my hand?" Finn puts his hand over Pickle's.

"River is next to you too, can you feel the love in her touch?"

Finn nods at me and I gently caress his cheek.

He jerks back at first "My touch is safe. Finn's touch is safe. We would never hurt you honey. I'm so sorry it was my fault" I let out a sob I was holding in.

His eyes jerk to mine and I see Finn tense up.

"Pickle, feel my hand?" His eyes turn quickly to Finn "Brother your safe feel my touch. River's touch is good she feels like love and fire across your skin both thrilling and grounding" Finn talks as soft as he can.

I look at him and smile sadly at him.

"Pickle I love you. Please look at me" I say calming my voice.

He puts his head in his hands. I can see him shaking violently. I can't take it he needs me,

without thinking I throw my arms around his shoulders. He tenses and stops breathing.

"It's River and I'm not letting you go" I say firm but soft.

"Please Pickle breath, I'll keep you safe. I'm safe"

I kiss his head and I feel him take a breath.

I kiss him again this time on his forehead.

He starts breathing heavily. "I'm going to touch your chest" I say moving my hand towards his peck. "My touch is safe and so is Finn's"

I grab Finn's hand and place it on his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry my love. I'm moving my hand towards your face" I say watching his cues like Finn told me.

I need to pull him to me, I need to hold him. I have to move slow and carefully though. I feel so guilty.

Is this how the guy's feel dealing with me?

I lift his hand and intertwine his fingers with mine.

He throws his head up quickly. So fast he almost headbutts me.

"Kitten?" He says softly.

He grabs my arms tightly and looks at me then he sees Finn next to him and his hands release some.

"Pickle. Ooh Pickle I'm so sorry. I didn't know" I say crying again.

He just looks at me sadly then puts his head down.

I put my hand on his back and rub it and he tenses up and holds his breath.

I move my hand and tilt his face up.

"It's River and my touch is safe. Pickle breath for me"

His shoulders rise and fall then his hands starts shaking.

I take his hands as I kneel down in front of him.

I kiss his forehead and he looks at me and takes a deep breath.

"It's time Pickle, I need to know so I don't hurt or scare you again. You both tell me to use my words. I need you to do the same. Please" I say holding his face to look at me.

"It's really bad and I didn't want to ruin Finn's last night, I can just leave and we can do this another night" he sounds so sad.

"No brother, it's important and you haven't ruined anything. I have awful PTSD I'm in the military and I might come back worse and I'll need you both here for me, so it's important for me to be here for you" Finn says putting his hand back on his shoulder.

He takes some deep breaths. "Okay brother your right"

He looks at me now "Kitten, I'm sorry there's no sugar coating this. It is going to be really bad and I'm sorry" he says as a tear rolls down his freckled cheek.

He grabs my face and kisses me like it's our last kiss.

"Pickle anything you say or show me will not change this" I put his hand on my heart.

He nods his head and looks up at me sadly like he's unsure.

He takes a deep breath and reaches his hand back and pulls his shit off.

He lets his head drops back and he sits up straight so I can see his chest clearer.

He has raised scarring that looks like lash marks. I run my fingers over a few and he tenses up. I lean in and kiss them.

"Are they whip marks?" I ask.

He nods. Finn grips his shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze. He flinches for a second then relaxes.

I kiss his lips "This is isn't bad my love"

He looks down at his feet and tense up, when he looks at me he has tears in his eyes "My back"

He whispers.

I watch as Finn looks, he's eyes get big and they fill with tears. He touches Pickle's back and he tenses and holds his breath.

Finn looks at me and shakes his head like he doesn't want me to look.

I ignore him and climb on the bed.

I gasp out as I see hundreds of marks like on his chest. Some are big and scared badly. There isn't a spot on his back that doesn't have raised scarring. Who did this to him?

I can feel Pickle crying, Finn has tears in his eyes and I'm crying as silent as I can. They are awful why would anyone do this?

I wrap my legs around his waist as I pull myself as close to his back as I can. I lean my head on his back.

He tenses immediately and is shaking harder now.

"My touch is safe, my hands will never hurt you" I whisper to him.

I feel him take a breath in and out but he's so tense.

I reach over and grab Finn's hand and put it on Pickle's back. I feel him flinch and he gets more tense.

I kiss his back "Finn's hands are safe and he will never hurt you" I say in a calm whisper.

Finn leans his head to Pickle's shoulder and leaves it there.

I lean my head on his back, tracing the scars with my fingers.

"Who was your monster?" I ask with a trembling voice.

I can feel Pickle body shaking as he cries.

He takes a deep breath.

"My parents" he finally says.