Chapter 42

I walk down the corridor to open the piece of paper I’d been given to see what it says. All it says is that I have an appointment with the guidance counsellor at eleven forty five, which is in five minutes.

"Megan," I hear Mr Peters call. My eyes widen and I quicken my pace, but with how tall he is he catches up to me within seconds. "Megan," he says.

"What!" I snap and turn to look at him "Yes Sir?" I ask more calmly. He is my teacher and it is rude to speak to a teacher the way I just spoke to him. He looks at me and then frowns. I move my head down a little and I feel him move my hair out of my face.

"What happened?" he asks

"Nothing," I say.

"Did he hit you?" he questions.

"No," I lie.

"Don't take me for a fool," he states, a little offended.

"I don't see how it has anything to do with you." I snap now looking at him "What happens outside of school has nothing to do with you!" I snap. "So just keep your nose out of my business and leave me alone!" I growl walking away from him.

"I'll have to report this," I hear him say. I stop and turn to look at him "I'll have to report that bruise on you and I'll have to report your behaviour which will earn you a detention for a week with me," he states. I frown and clench my fists while watching him walk over to me and closing the doors that block us from the corridor. "I'm assuming your father did that to you last night?" he asks "there is no point saying that he didn't when you were fine when I dropped you off home" he adds.

"Fine," I say "report it and tell them," I snap and I see a look of relief go over his face "but if you do. I'll tell the school you're lying and you had sex with me."

"What!" he says almost as if he doesn't hear me properly "but I haven’t, I've never" he stops what he is about to say "they wouldn't believe you" he states.

"Wouldn't they? I know exactly what your room looks like. I know where you live and what floor and number and I know the layout of your house" I say. I have never done this before but if it is going to stop him from

grassing up my father this is all I can do.

"But..."

"And a girl from this school saw me leaving your apartment building with you," I add on. What the hell am I doing? This isn't me, I hate people who did this and now I'm turning into someone I hat. The look on his face is heart breaking, he look as if he is about cry or go commit suicide.

"Megan, you cannot be serious?" he asks. I nod and watch as he rubs his eyes and then looks at me again "you would go to such extreme lengths to protect a man that beats you?"

"He doesn't beat me," I say quietly. "Last night was the first time he has ever hit me," I lie "and it isn't going to happen again. He had been drinking and I was goading him" I lie.

"You're bluffing," he states.

"Try me," I say with raised eyebrows.

"You'll have to go through loads of tests and examinations and once you do they will realise I'm telling the truth," he states. "The marks on your back will give you away," he states.

"I'll say you did them because I refused you at first," I say and I hate myself for saying that. He sighs and steps back.

"I didn't think you were like this" he mutters, "I'm trying to help you, trying to make sure you don't end up like my wife but it seems you want to end up like her," he then turn and starts to walk away "don't ask for help because I won't help you" he states. I start to walk after him and he seem to know I am because he turn his head to the side slightly "You must enjoy getting raped by your own father" he says coldly. I stop in my tracks and feel myself start to cry. He stops too and turns to look at me, giving me a bitter glare.

"I...I don't need your help" I stutter out as I try to stop myself from crying. "I'm fine" I say and run past him to the nearest toilet.

The look he gave me was so cold, almost the same as the one that Benjamin has everytime he looks at me. He hates me, how could I push away the one person trying to help me, trying to help me get free from everything that is hurting me. Is he right? Am I enjoying what is happening? Maybe I was, that's what Benjamin always tells me. He says he sees it and that he wouldn't do it if it wasn't my own fault. If I didn't want him to do it.

All of this is my own fault no one else's. It is my own fault he rapes me, I let him, I don't fight enough, I never fight him. Not anymore.

I wipe my tears and root through my bag looking for my make-up. Once I have touched up my makeup, I root through my bag again to see the small bottle of vodka I stashed in here a couple of weeks ago. I take it out and unscrew the top and down the biggest swig I can. A few minutes pass and I walk out to see him standing with his arms folded across his chest, and at that point I had only just realised he wasn't in his normal shirt and trousers, he is wearing the same clothes as yesterday.

"Who told you he raped me?" I ask "because they're lying my father has never touched me," I lie. He frowned slightly and clenched his fists "You really shouldn't make things up," I say now, turning to walk away from him.

"I'm not making anything up unlike you," he says quietly.

"I'd be careful if I was you. Your reputation as a teacher is counting on how you make me feel," I say, turning to him and giving him the coldest glare I can give to him.

"Why are you doing this?" he asks.

"Why are you always butting your nose into my business?" I ask.

"Because I..."

"Because you what?" I snap walking over to him. He looks down and away from me, "fine well I'm going to be late so see you," I say and as I turn to walk away I feel him grab my arm and pull me. I look to see he has pulled me into the girl's toilets. He locks the door and then hugs me.

"Because I care about you and I want to help you," he says stroking one of his hands over my hair "I want to stop all the hurt you're going through right now," he mutters and kissed the top of my head "just let me help you," he says softly.

I look up at him and then look down and drop my bag on the floor. My hands move up his back and grip him tightly to push his body against mine. I then look up at him and he moves my hair slightly so he can see the bruise.

"Don't" I mutter and move my head away from him. He sighs slightly and lifts my head to face him. I look into his crystal sapphire blue eyes and feel myself drown "he doesn't..." Mr Peters cut me off.

"I don't want to hear your lie," he says and slowly leans in. My eyes widen as soon as his lips touch mine. I pull back and look down.

"I need to go," I say, turning to open the door but I can't as his hand holds the door shut. "C...could you move your hand please?" I say

"I'm sorry," he says quietly.

"Are you going to report the bruise I have?" I ask.

"No," he says quietly, almost reluctantly. "Are you going to lie and say I've forced you to have sex with me?" he asks. I shake my head and look down. I hate myself for saying that to him.

"No, because you're not going to report me," I explain. He moves his hand and sighs slightly "thank you,"

"I'm sorry for kissing you," he says.

"I'll see you in class Sir" I say walking off to the guidance counsellor's office.

Once I get there I knock on the door and wait for an answer. I walk in "you asked to see me," I say. She nods and gestures for me to sit and as I do I notice my dad sat in the seat next to me. "Dad" I say surprised he is even here. He just looks at me then looks away.