Chapter 8: CHAPTER EIGHT

“You’re going to do what?” Kim yelled into the phone.

Savannah turned the volume down on her office phone and shuffled some papers around on her desk. She’d practically just gone to bed a few hours before she had to report to work. She was almost late because she had spent a longer amount of time saying goodbye to Jake when she dropped him off at school. When she dropped Nicholas off at daycare, they had to ask her to leave.

“Answer me, Savannah!”

“I’m going to sign them over to you guys. Something has come up and I just wanted to know that when things got difficult, you would be there.” Savannah rubbed her forehead.

“Will you just tell me what’s going on?”

“They found a lump, Kim. They found a lump in my breast.”

The silence that followed was thick as both women took in what had just been said. Savannah wasn’t looking for pity. She was looking for her sister to help her carry out what she felt had to happen. It would be important for her kids to be raised by someone that would surely love them. Once she got really sick, she wouldn’t really be able to take care of herself, let alone her boys.

“Oh my God, Sav. When did you find out?”

“A few weeks ago, I felt a lump a few months ago but I thought it was just because I was on my period. But then it was all I could think about so once I was off my period, I checked again. And it was still there. I set up an appointment with my doctor and she felt a lump too. She gave me a referral to get a mammogram done. After that, they’ll be able to see if it’s cancerous or not.”

“You know I would definitely take the boys. But let’s just see what the tests say.”

“Kim, you know Momma had it and she died from it. So, I’m thinking it is cancerous. I’m so scared, Kim.”

“I know Sav. I’m sorry. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I didn’t want to believe that it was a possibility. I couldn’t accept it.”

“Well, you just worry about taking care of yourself. Kenneth and I are here. Did you tell Dwight, yet? “

“No.”

“Sav…”

“I know Kim. I’m building up to that. It’s just that he is so much of what I’ve always wanted and here it is all slipping away.”

“Well, all I ask is that you tell him. Let him make his own decisions.” Savannah thanked her sister and hung up the phone. She gathered some papers on her desk and put her reading glasses on. She had been researching different cancer treatments and the facilities that offered them. She wiped her eyes and grabbed a tissue to dab her nose. Her phone beeped.

“Yea?”

“You have a call on line one, Ms. Dennis.” Her assistant said through the intercom.

“Savannah Dennis speaking.” She announced into the phone after she had cleared her throat.

“Hi beautiful.” Dwight’s cool voice seeped through the phone. She sat up straighter in her chair.

“Hey.” She said softly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Savannah?” She heard concern in his voice. But there had already been enough stuff that had happened. She was sure that he would run after this. What man wanted to take on taking care of a cancer patient this early in the relationship? She bit her lip.

“I’m just tired. It’s been a long day.”

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

“Yea. I know. I’m just tired, is all.” She hated to lie to him, but she wasn’t ready to tell him.

“I’d like to come over tonight. If that’s okay? Just to check on you.”

All Savannah wanted to do was to go home and spend as much time with her sons as possible. Of course, she realized that she was jumping the gun. But the more she thought about crawling in her bed, the more she wondered if having company wasn’t a bad idea.

“Savannah, you there?”

“Yes. I wouldn’t mind if you came over. It’d be nice.”

“You mind if I bring Isabella? My neighbor has upped her rates on me.” He laughed.

“No. Of course not.” Savannah rubbed her temple to keep the headache growing in her head at bay.

“Okay. See you then.”

Savannah replaced the receiver in the cradle and opened a few files on her computer. She had been working tirelessly on the Clarke project. It was one of the few things to keep her from focusing on what was happening to her body. She swallowed hard to suppress the nausea in her stomach. Sweat beads formed on her head and she had to close her eyes. She stood up and quickly grabbed the edge of her desk. She walked slowly over to her storage cabinet and quickly swallowed two pills.

“How is my favorite employee?” She heard Dean’s voice. Her breathing slowed and the room’s spinning ceased. She was staring back at him as the sweat rolled down her back and seeped into the fabric of her skirt.

“I’m okay.” She responded breathlessly.

Dean glanced behind him and entered her office, closing the door a little before walking over to her desk. “I’ve been thinking about you and how much of an asset you are to our company. Great work you’ve been doing with the Clarke account. He is really pleased with your work.” He sat down across from her desk.

“Thank you. I’m just a little upset that we have not been able to meet like we first scheduled.” Savannah tried to swallow, hoping to activate her spit glands.

Dean folded his hands across his chest. His cologne wafted over to her nose. “He understands. He really thinks a lot of you, so he is willing to work with you.” He watched her for a few seconds before he spoke again. “I know you’ve been hearing rumors about me. Being a womanizer and all. And these rumors have been causing me some irritation. Of course, this is none of your concern.” He scooted to the edge of the chair. “I cannot help that I am married. I did it when I was young and had I not so much to lose, I would leave her. But the truth remains that I cannot ignore beauty when I see it.

“I think you are a very attractive woman. I love that you are smart, and you do wonderful work. But I have noticed lately you have been looking a little down and out. Now, I am not sure what is going on in your personal life, that is none of my business. However, as your boss, I have to make sure that this job is not causing you too much discomfort.”

She watched his eyes. He had sneaky eyes. It was like looking into the pits of hell and getting stuck there. She tried not to stare too long. But she could see how some of the women could get caught up over him. He could be rather charming…. just like the Devil. Many women found themselves becoming modern-day Eves, forsaking happiness and peace of mind to take a bite of forbidden fruit.

She would listen in the break room as the women, all ages, all sizes, and all races would talk about what they would like to do to and with him. Savannah would cringe at the thought of him touching her. But now, sitting in her office, he resembled something close to a human being. It was such an amazing transformation. One that made her utterly suspicious.

“I’m fine. Just think I’m catching a cold. Nicholas brought something home from daycare. Maybe I caught it.” She sniffled and wiped her nose with a tissue.

“Um, humph.” He nodded quickly. “Here’s the skinny. I am a businessman. That’s how I operate. No matter what I want, I go after it, presenting how both parties can benefit. Now you are a smart woman, smarter than half of these twits I have working here.” Savannah cringed. “But I think that entering into a contract with you would be very lucrative for me. Not to mention the perks that would come from it. You cannot lose in this situation. Imagine the possibilities.” Dean’s voice faded off as Savannah jumped across her desk and landed on top of Dean. He squirmed underneath her.

“Get off me! Get off!” He screamed.

Savannah managed to get her grip tighter around his neck and watched as his face turned pink. He struggled to get her hands from around his neck, but she had a firm hold on it. She laughed maniacally as he scratched at her arms leaving behind crimson streaks in her flesh. She closed her eyes and listened to his screams. Sweet waves of ecstasy washed over her as she felt his flailing cease and his body begin to reax.

“Savannah, Savannah? What do you think?” Dean looked confused.

“No thank you. I have too much respect for myself. I’ll pass. I’m sure you can find someone to be your lapdog. Just not here. Now if you don’t mind, I have some work to do, unless there is anything else.” She glared into the shocked eyes of her boss and saw the fire in them fade out. Even the Devil, who was usually perched atop his irises seemed nowhere to be found.

He stood up and leaned across the desk. “You listen to me, Savannah. Things could get very uncomfortable for you here. I don’t like to threaten. I make promises and I promise you that if you don’t shape up around here, you may be doing projects for another company.”

Savannah stood up and leaned towards him. He backed away from her desk. “And let me let you in on something, Mr. Martin. Things will get very uncomfortable indeed. Especially when there is a leak about sexual harassment in the office, in addition to the allegations of money laundering and extortion. See, I may not say much around here, but I know plenty. I didn’t graduate in the top ten percent of my class for nothing. Those other women may not have the gall to stand up to you, but I do.” She stood up and straightened his tie. “Do you understand that?”

With his face flustered and bright red, Dean quickly turned on his heels. “This is far from over.” She sank down into her chair and let out the huge amount of air she had been storing in her lungs. Fear and excitement rose from her belly as she held her head in her hands.

“Oh… my… gosh!” Her assistant said slowly, sprinting into her office. “Are you okay, Savannah?” Her face was bright with wonder.

“You heard that?”

“Sure did. You must have hit the intercom button and I surely wasn’t coming in there to tell you. You should have seen how he looked when he came out of there. He was redder than Rudolph’s nose!” She laughed and clapped her hands together.

Savannah tried to laugh but all she could think about was that she had actually threatened her boss. Even though she felt some euphoria welling up inside her, the joy was short-lived. In a matter of days, she would most certainly be unemployed. “Try not to tell anyone.”

“Oh. You don’t have to worry about that. Even though I think some people may have heard it already.” She turned on her heels and strolled back to her desk, chuckling softly.

Savannah searched her purse for her headache medicine. A headache seared through her head. Rubbing her temple after downing the two pills, she leaned back in her chair. This day needed to be over and quick.

*****

“Hi there, Ms. Dennis.” Jake’s after schoolteacher, Ms. Ross walked over to her. She was a beautiful older woman, with cocoa skin and she always smelled like sandalwood. She wore soft gray locs down her back and always looked cozy. She adored Jake because she said he reminded her of her son when he was little.

“Hello.” Savannah replied, helping Jake get his backpack on. She watched Nicholas grab and pull on a little girl’s shoestring. She picked him up and he fought to get down until he noticed her earring.

“I just wanted to let you know that Jake is doing well. He’s doing his classwork more on his own now.” She paused and moved in closer to Savannah. “His father came by to pick him up. He’s not on the list so I told him no. He seemed agitated. Is everything okay?”

“Things are a little hectic right now, but the boys are okay, thank you. And he is not authorized to pick him up until I give you notice.”

“Ok. That’s fine. Take care.” She waved them off.

Savannah smiled at the woman and packed her kids in the car. “How was your day, baby?” She asked Jake, while handing Nicholas his cup.

“I had fun. We colored the birds, and we ate chips and we played outside.”

It was refreshing to see her son happy. He went on and on about everything that he had done in school. It was something she looked forward to, even though he could talk for hours at a time. She laughed and pushed the episode at work to the back of her mind.

“What color is the fire truck?” Savannah asked Jake who was sitting next to her at the dining room table.

“Red!” He yelled proudly. Nicholas yelled red too and dragged a crayon across the paper.

“Good job guys!” Her telephone rang. “Hello?”

“Are you okay? How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, Kim. Don’t get all crazy on me, hear? I won’t really know anything until they take the test.” Savannah sat back down at the table.

“I still think you should go see someone. The mother of one of my daycare kids had cervical cancer and she had a hard time dealing with it. She got really depressed and stuff. So, they sent her to a shrink. So, that’s something to consider.”

“I’ve thought about dying and leaving the kids. I haven’t even had that much time with them.” Savannah fought to hold back tears. “I don’t know what to do with all this. Then there is Dwight. I finally met a man who might be about something and I get a death sentence. It’s just not fair.”

“Life is like that. But let’s just see what comes of this. And you know they have treatments. There is chemo. And surgery. There’s lots you can do. But just promise that you won’t stop fighting.” Kim’s voice broke. “I’m here for you.”

“I think I’m going crazy already. I laid Dean out.” Savannah filled Kim in on what happened at the office earlier that day. Her sister was laughing in between Savannah talking.

“About time. Maybe you can get Dwight to come up there and kick his butt too.”

“I’m serious Kim. What if I get fired? I need this job. And if it is cancer, I’m going to need healthcare.”

“You don’t need them. We all know you have a million dollars tucked away somewhere. And you have the credentials girl. You are smart. I must say I raised you well.”

Savannah helped Jake find where to color next. “You did. Once I get sick, you’ll have to take care of me again.” Jake looked up at her. She walked over to the fridge, where he couldn’t hear her.

“I don’t mind. It’ll be okay.”

“Someone is at the door, Kim. It might be Dwight.”

“Oooooh details!” Kim managed to scream out before Savannah hung up the phone. She glanced back at her boys and hurried to the door.

“Hi.” Dwight stood in the doorway, with Izzy resting in his arms. She was wearing what looked like Princess pajamas. He was carrying a little pink suitcase. Savannah stared at it. “I’m sorry. I tried to keep her awake. She packed all her toys to share.” He was carrying a brown paper bag as well.

“It’s okay. She can lie down on my bed.”

Jake and Nicholas looked up and stared at Isabella as if she were an alien. She was a cute little girl, with her thick, curly hair pulled into a puff on top of her head.

“Guys, this is Izzy. She’ll be here for a few hours. When she wakes up you can show her your room and stuff, okay?” Her boys nodded. Savannah pointed Dwight in the direction of her bedroom and cleared the rest of the dishes from the table.

“Your bedroom is really nice. I’ve thought about red walls, but I guess I was never brave enough to do that.” He looked down at the table and smiled at her sons. “Hey fellas, I brought you guys something.” He walked back over to the couch where he dropped a big brown paper bag and sat it on the table.

“I used to like playing with these. I think you guys would like them too.” He dumped some action figures from the paper bag onto the living room floor. There were race cars and other little boy things in the bag. Jake’s eyes lit up and Nicholas squealed. “Is it okay?”

“You guys can play until bedtime.” Dwight lingered near her until she motioned for him to join her on the couch. She noticed him watching her and she stared at him.

“I had to see you.” He started.

“Why?” She put her hands on her lap.

“I like you. You’re smart. A wonderful mother. And you make me feel good.”

‘And I have cancer.’ She thought to herself. “Thanks. You’re sweet. Did you want something to drink?”

“Yea. I’ll take some juice if you have any.”

“I have orange juice. White cran-grape. Ginger ale.”

“White cran please.” He smiled as she walked into the kitchen. She could not lie to him. Even though at this point she didn’t owe him anything, she could not bring herself to lie to him. She would tell him, she decided. She gathered the glasses on a tray and found some veggies and dip. She entered the room and Dwight was standing, a sheet of paper hanging at his side. He looked at her, his eyebrows furrowed to the center of his forehead.

“What’s wrong?” She sat the tray on the coffee table.

“I didn’t mean to look at it. Jake knocked it off the table and when I picked it up, it was right side up. I didn’t know.”

“I don’t understand.”

He handed her the paper and waited while she read it. Folding it into a small square, she tucked it in her pocket. “I just found out. I had every intention of telling you.” She sat down at the far end of the couch, opposite of where he was sitting.

Dwight paced back and forth slowly. He rubbed his head occasionally. Taking a deep breath, he sat down close to her. “I’ve been through a lot with you, and this is only the beginning phase. It’s been hectic. Hospitals, crazy baby daddies, cancer. I’m not—”

“You don’t have to sugar coat it.”

“Let me finish. Even though it has been crazy, for some reason I don’t mind it. I know I seem like I’m too good to be true. Being there for you and willing to stick it out. But it’s me. That’s how I was raised and so what I’m saying is that if you want me here, I’m here. If not, I’m gone. Whatever you want Savannah.”

She looked at him. He was right. Men like him didn’t exist and they were hard as hell to find in Baltimore. It wasn’t just because she was a single mother dealing with an insane baby father. It wasn’t just because her dad had practically abandoned the family. It was because she just knew it. Life had dealt a series of whack jobs. Dating had been horrendous indeed. But she wasn’t bitter.

Dwight certainly was different. Incredibly handsome and sensitive. Reliable. And all without vows promising dedication and monogamy. Yet, he had been there for some tough times and even now as she listened to him assure her that he would continue to be there for her, she doubted. Of course, initially everyone was there and involved. Then as time passed, they dwindled down until there was no one. It happened all the time.

“I don’t know what to say. I’d like to have you stay. But what happens when it comes back cancerous? I’ll be a corpse. I’ve seen what cancer can do to people.” She crossed her arms.

“I see that you’re not a words person. So, I’ll just have to show you what I mean.”

“Kim thinks that I should see a shrink, in case I can’t handle what’s going on.”

“My friend has a practice. He’s really good when it comes to dealing with things like that.”

“I guess I’ll try it out. I’m sorry to spring all this on you.” She scratched some dried ketchup off her jeans.

“It’s okay. I dealt with more issues with Izzy’s mom. She suffered from post-partum depression and that’s when she started talking about not wanting to be a mother anymore and needing to do things for herself. Next thing I knew, there was a letter, and all of her things were gone.” He shifted in his seat and their legs brushed up against each other. He smiled. She blushed.

Savannah listened as he recounted the years of his marriage. She felt uncomfortable when he began to describe how much he was in love with Sandra and everything he had done for her. A slight irritation with Sandra nagged Savannah and she shifted. She knew that not all men were dogs just like she knew some women made it difficult for men to be men. According to Dwight, Sandra was beautiful and never failed to make it known.

“She loves attention from men. I was never enough. She would flirt with them and before I know it, I’m in a fight or an argument. Not that she cared.”

Savannah just nodded. Sandra was unknown to her and talking about women she didn’t know wasn’t her forte. But there was something to be said about a woman who walked away from her child.

“It’s been hard trying to explain to Izzy why her mother isn’t around.”

Savannah nodded her head slowly. She glanced back at the clock on the wall. “Jake, it’s time for bed. Excuse me.” She rose from the couch and gathered her boys.

Savannah escorted them to their room and helped them change into their pajamas. Jake was so tired that he could hardly keep his eyes open. Nicholas was asleep by the time she laid him in the bed. She kissed both of her boys before she rejoined Dwight on the couch.

“Everything okay?”

“Yes. They went out like lights. I knew they were tired. You wanna check on Izzy?”

“I did. While you were putting them to bed. You’re really good with them. So gentle.”

Savannah blushed and hid her smile behind the sleeve of her thin sweater. “Thank you.” She paused. “You think your friend can really help me?”

“He helped me. I had to see him for a little when Izzy’s mom left us. He said that I suffered from rejection and feelings of abandonment. He should be able to help you.”

Savannah watched his lips and really focused on the features and details that made up his wonderful face. His lashes were longer than she noticed. She inhaled soft traces of wild vanilla musk emanating from his body. She felt the warm tension between them and felt drawn to his strong arms. Her eyes held his as she slid closer to him.

Preparing for rejection, she was surprised to feel his arm come around her waist and pull her the last few inches to him. “I have wanted to do this for a while now. I just wasn’t sure how you would respond.”

Dwight took her hand and brought it up to his chest. She could feel the quick steady beating of his heart. “I’m sure I wouldn’t have turned you down.” His lips hovered near her mouth before they pressed softly but firmly against hers. She wrapped her hands around his neck and pulled him into her. His tongue massaged hers and she could feel the fire ignite in her parts. She fought hard to bury the moans trying to escape her throat until she heard moans escaping from Dwight.

“Savannah,” he whispered softly, squeezing her until she could feel pressure in her lungs. Afraid to let go, she pulled him tighter until she was sure that they were one. They seemed to kiss for hours while he gently tugged her hair and nibbled her neck. She teased his ears.

“Savannah,” he whispered again, this time releasing her a little.

She held back her kisses from his and put some space between them. “What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

“I… um.” He stood up and she could see the reason for his discomfort. “I think we should stop. Don’t want to take it there just yet.”

“Yeah. We did say that, didn’t we?” She responded awkwardly. What was wrong with her? Carrying on like some lovesick teenager, making out all over the place. “We can just talk.” Her body rejected the idea of just having him near her and not taking advantage of that body. But she buried those thoughts and feelings underneath her self-control and patted the seat next to her. He returned and slowly sat down. He leaned against her arm and they sat for hours talking about everything. She smiled at the thought of a very sweet beginning.