Chapter 10: CHAPTER TEN

Savannah could hardly keep her eyes open. She had sent most of the past few nights fighting with herself as to what to do about Dwight. He called her and left a message on her answering machine a few times. But she had no idea what to do.

It didn’t help that Mr. Martin was going over some figures for a project that he was hoping to bid on. Of course, whenever Dean gave a presentation, it was strictly facts and numbers. The most boring combination ever. He had been behaving himself ever since she had said what she said to him. He tried to avoid her, walking on the other side of the hallway. Opting to wait for the next elevator. She figured it was only a matter of time before she would be escorted out of there.

“Savannah, do you have a minute?” He called out to her after he adjourned the meeting.

Her heart pumped vigorously as she watched the others file out of the office. She caught the jealous glares from some of the women as they slithered out into the hallway. Snakes they were. All of them. What did he really want to talk to her about?

When the boardroom was empty, Savannah remained standing. He walked around the table until he was a few feet in front of her. “I’ve had plenty of time to think things over about what happened. I just want you to know that there are no hard feelings between us about our little misunderstanding and if you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.” He walked around her and headed for the door.

Savannah stared at the back of his head. ’That bastard!’ She mumbled to herself. Of course, to save face Dean would make it seem like it was only something she imagined. She huffed and headed back to her office. She noticed the women staring back at her. She knew they hated her. She rolled her eyes and went to her office.

“You have a call on line one, Ms. Dennis.” Her assistant told her as she walked by.

“Thank you.” Savannah sat at her desk and placed the notes from the meeting in a drawer. She would read those later. “Savannah speaking.”

“You’ve been ignoring me.” Dwight said.

“What can I do for you?” It had been a few weeks since she talked to him last. Her cell phone was filled with missed calls, voicemails, and text messages from him. All unanswered.

“Just tell me why you’re mad at me.”

“Look, I’m not mad. I just don’t like being lied to.” She turned to face the window.

“I didn’t lie to you.” He sighed. He had hoped that he would have the time to sit with her and talk things over but for whatever reason, she had erected walls around her and refused to let him in.

“You could have told me it was Sandra who was calling you. What am I supposed to think now? If you lie about this, what other stuff will you lie about?”

He sighed. “Look, I didn’t mean to hurt you on purpose. I can’t tell you why I didn’t just tell you it was her.”

“I never doubted you before. I understand that she’s Izzy’s mom and I don’t have anything to do with that. I hear that she is gone and nowhere to be found and then all of a sudden, she’s calling and showing up at your place. Most women don’t act like that without some type of motivation. I don’t know what to think, Dwight. What would you think?”

“I’d probably be upset. But I’m not that kind of guy, Savannah. Really.” He twirled in his office chair so that he was facing the window to his office. For the past few weeks, he had split his time between work, Izzy, and trying to reach Savannah. Not to mention the fact that he was being harassed by Sandra, who was taunting him and threatening him about taking Izzy. The fact was that he wanted Savannah, even though she faced such a critical illness in her life. He had no plan for how to support her with it, but he wasn’t going anywhere.

Savannah sighed. What was wrong with men? Why did they make some of the decisions that they did? All he had to do was tell her what was going on. But he had decided to keep it from her. The more she thought about it, the more she realized just how irritated she was with him. “I’m sorry but I have to get back to work.”

“Can you call me later?”

“Fine.” She hung up the phone and pressed her next line. “Savannah Dennis’ office.”

“This is a call from your local government requesting—” Savannah disconnected the call. The next few calls were for orders that she placed and after she confirmed them, there was only one last call.

“Savannah Dennis.”

“You don’t know how to call your sister? I’ve been leaving you messages and stuff.” Kim exclaimed. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing much. That therapist guy is okay. Been helping me work through some issues I have regarding this cancer thing. He’s been a big help.”

“Well, that’s good. Good thing Dwight knew him and could hook you up.”

Savannah grunted. “Yea.”

“What’s going on? What have you done now?”

“Me? Why is it always me?” Savannah tapped a pen against her desk.

“Let me tell you something. If you let this man go for something stupid, I will slap you silly.” Kim exclaimed.

“First of all, you are MY sister. You’re supposed to take my side. Your people skills are a little outrageous. And I’m not leaving him. He didn’t tell me that he was back in touch with his daughter’s mother. She pops up when we’re at his house.”

“What were you doing at his house? You were getting some weren’t you? That’s why you’re really mad. She stopped your groove.” Kim laughed into the phone.

“Maybe. But that’s not the point. He didn’t tell me about her.”

“You do this all the time. You meet a nice guy and then you get scared that he’s going to hurt you and you look for something that will justify you breaking up with him. That man hardly knew you, but he left his kid and came to make sure that you and your kid were okay. What man would have done that and not expect anything in return? Not many.”

“You don’t know how hard it is for me. You have a husband already.”

“What does that mean? Nothing. I had to let go of fear and when I did, I met Kenneth. Besides, you have got to let go of those Thomas nightmares. He tore you up and if you don’t get yourself together, those emotions will continue to rule you.”

“I should stop paying Dr. Scott and let you analyze me.”

“Hell no. I don’t want you sitting around here depressing me with your problems. Besides, I never know when Kenneth is going to come home and want some. And I don’t want you sitting in my living room crying and messing up what I have going on. That man does wonderful things with his hands.”

“Disgusting.” Savannah sucked her teeth.

“Jealous. Well look, I just called to check up on you. Let me know when you are supposed to go back to see your doctor. I’ll go with you.” She took a breath. “Take it easy on Dwight, will you? He’s a good guy.”

“Sure. I have to get back to work. But maybe the boys and I will drop by this weekend.” After Savannah said her goodbyes, she searched through her files to find the Clarke account she had been working on. She was proud of how everything was looking thus far. The team she had working with her was complete with young, fresh minds. Their last few meetings had yielded some very lucrative ideas and new approaches to Clarke’s business. Yet, it was she that made the final decision on everything.

“Savannah. Nice to talk to you again.” His thick voice filled the receiver.

“Likewise, Mr. Clarke. I was calling to see if you got the faxes that I sent you. It was a couple of sketches about the redesign for some of your stores. Now, these are just ideas, since you want to appeal to a hipper, younger professional. I also included some preliminary figures for how much it will cost. I tried to stay under your budget, and I even included a breakdown of some of your long-term earnings once these changes have been implemented.”

“I must say, you are really impressing me. I have looked over everything and things seem to be in working order. I will be out of town today and tomorrow. I hope to be back by the weekend. If you don’t mind, I’m having a small get together. Bring your boys. There will be plenty of kids there.”

“Oh, I…” She stammered.

“Please come. I’d like to introduce you to everyone. Besides, you’ve been working so hard, you could use a break.”

Savannah leaned back in her chair and sighed. The last thing she needed was to be hob-nobbing with her clients. “Okay. That sounds good.”

After writing down the address and the directions, she went back to work. Before she knew it, it was time to leave. She grabbed her briefcase and her jacket and headed for her car. Traffic wasn’t as heavy as she expected, and she made it to Jake’s school and Nicholas’ daycare in record time. Jake sang from the backseat.

“What are you so happy about?” She smiled at him in the rearview mirror.

“I made you a hat!” He screamed and lifted up the creation he had in his hand. Savannah smiled at Jake and knew that he would want her to wear it. It was the biggest, strangest hat she had ever seen. She kept in mind that the designer was under five years old.

“Thank you, baby.” She stuck the hat on top of her head and continued the drive home. Savannah ushered her boys into the house and watched as they ran around the living room. Shuffling through the mail, she dropped the stack on the coffee table and headed to the kitchen. “You guys! Wash your hands before dinner. Jake, help Nicholas.”

She whirled around the kitchen, trying to piece together a meal of chicken she had baked last night, mac and cheese, and succotash. She made their plates and gathered them. She placed Nicholas in his booster seat and Jake slid into his. He was so short for his age.

After saying grace, Nicholas grabbed all the carrots from his plate and stuffed them in his mouth. She spent a few minutes trying to get some of it out, afraid that he would choke on it.

Savannah loved watching her boys eat and play. They were so innocent. Even though it would take her all night to clean up the mess they made, it was worth it. It was also something she would miss. The what ifs of her illness forced her to think about them navigating the world without her. She was not looking forward to getting sick. She had seen the effects of cancer and how it ravaged the body until there was nothing left. She lowered her head to hide her watering eyes. No need for them to be upset now. It may very well be a false alarm. She jumped when she heard banging on the door.

“Who is it?” She yelled from behind the door.

“Thomas.”

Savannah swung the door open. “What do you want?”

“Look, I just came to apologize. I was drinking that night and my boys were telling me how they were seeing you with this other guy.”

“That has nothing to do with you. And when are you paying for the windows you broke?” She glared at him from her doorway.

He reached in his pocket and handed her a wad of bills. “I went ahead and put the child support in there too. I’m really sorry.”

Savannah could not help but notice the sincerity in his eyes. But she knew that game all too well. He was trying to get her defenses down. “The boys are eating. You wanna see them?”

He nodded and she stepped to the side, making room for him. He lingered in the hallway. “They are eating in the dining room.” She pointed him in the direction he needed to go and headed to the den with a book.

Savannah’s leg bobbed up and down as she listened to him play with the kids. She had to admit that when he put his mind to it, he was a good father. She had always wondered why he could not put that same energy into her but then again, he hadn’t loved her the way he loved them. Pushing the thoughts from her mind, she wondered about a more pressing issue. He was still there after an hour.

She walked into the dining room to find the dishes cleared from the table. Following the sound of water, she found Nicholas sitting on the kitchen floor. Jake stood next to his father at the sink, and Thomas, with his sleeves rolled up washed dishes. She had to look around the room a few times before she realized she wasn’t dreaming.

“What’s going on here?” She stared at them, hands on her hips.

“You remember when we used to wash dishes together?” He turned to look at her.

She sucked her teeth. The last thing she needed was a trip down memory lane. “I think you should go.”

He helped Jake down from the crate he was standing on and walked closer to her. “Look, I know you don’t care and I’m pretty sure you hate me by now, but there have been a lot of things going on lately and I have been doing some thinking. Just give me a minute to explain.”

She knew that she didn’t owe him anything. It had taken her awhile to get where she was. Thomas had done a number on her. But she refused to even let herself begin to think about another chance. No way. No how. “Boys, say good night to daddy.”

She ushered them into their room and helped them into their night clothes. She regretted the fact that she said that she would talk to him. Eventually, she exited her boys’ dark room and went to face Thomas. He was looking at the pictures that she had lined up on the mantle. “Nicholas looks more like you. Jake is starting to.” She paused. “What is it that you want to talk about that we have not discussed as of yet?” She stood near the couch.

Thomas watched her for a second. “I know I messed up, okay. Nothing I can do to change that. It’s just that I was young and dumb, and I didn’t realize how good you were for me.”

“Young?”

“Very funny.” He smiled. “I supposed I wasn’t that young when I messed around on you, but I still know that you were good to me.”

“You realize that now?”

Thomas sighed. “I do. I’m not too sure about a lot of things right now. But I know I still care about you and I’d like to see if we can move past this.”

“I’ve forgiven you already.” She leaned against the sofa.

“I was thinking more like getting back together. I’ve thought about this a lot. I mean, I know it’s going to take some work, but I think that if we both work at it, we can make something happen.”

She could not believe that he could stand there and let those words spill out of his mouth. “Look, we are good parents. Let’s leave it at that. Too much damage has been done for there ever to be anything more between us. I think you should leave.”

She walked over to the door.

Thomas walked out onto the porch. “Vivee.”

She shivered at the sound of it. It had been such a long time since she had last heard that pet name. And for the first time that night, she looked at him. Really looked at him. Sad eyes. Gray sprinkled around the edges of his hairline. His expression grim. Sincerity oozing from his pores. He looked tired. There was something going on with him. Maybe he was fighting with Angie. She could not even be his shoulder to lean on. Years before, when they were friends, they spent hours sitting up, talking about everything. He was there for her when she cried, and she was there for him. The memories flooded her, and she closed her eyes as they passed. They did have some good times. But she had to move on.

She exhaled and wrapped her arms around him. The hug was bittersweet. He was so warm, and she fit right into his arms, but she was letting him go. For good. Again. She stood that way with him for a few minutes and then she released him.

“I can’t be with you Thomas. My feelings for you aren’t the same. You are the father of my boys. That’s all I want from you.”

He nodded and lingered a little longer than she liked, and she backed away. He pulled her back to him and pressed his lips against her forehead. Crossing her arms over her chest, she watched him walk down the steps towards a black car. She squinted.

Thomas drove a red Mustang. She leaned so she could get a better look at the car. She took notice of a body in the shadows as Thomas pulled away.

“You were so upset with me about Sandra.”

The voice chilled her. Dwight stepped from the shadows and the glare from his eyes could have shredded her into a million pieces. The look lasted for only a few seconds before he turned on his heels and stormed to his car.

“Wait!” She called after him.

Dwight stopped and turned around. “You made me feel so bad about Sandra. And you didn’t see me hugging up on her or anything. I come here and you’re all over him. You can have each other.” He jumped in his car and sped off. Savannah was more unnerved by his calm demeanor than his words.