Chapter 16 MIA Mom
6 years ago
Rain
This year has been my first in the Jr. High building. I actually like it here because I was able to choose more of my classes, and I moved around. I haven’t had another fight since that day almost 2 years ago now, but now, everyone looks through me, like I’m invisible. Actually it’s rather like that at home for the most part as well, all except for Sade, he still watches me.
At least Zoey has left me alone, and she just ignores my existence, which works great for me. Her boyfriend Travis hadn’t come back to the school. During Christmas break, his family’s house had actually caught fire and he’d been pretty badly burned. I was glad he couldn’t hurt or bully me anymore, but I was sad he got hurt.
I do wish I had friends here. The only time I really interact with people is when we get assigned to do a project together. That doesn’t make us friends or anything, but they're never mean to me. Sade moved up to High School last year, this year he’s a sophomore. I wonder what it will be like when he graduates High School and he goes to college?
I have pretty much given up on my mom ever really becoming my mom again now. She kind of got rid of me in order to have her rich jet set life, then I wasn’t important anymore. It’s sad, and I have cried over it more times than I care to think about, but it’s the truth. I might get a phone call or most likely a text every so often, but that’s the extent of my interaction with her. She didn’t remember my 12th birthday, just like she didn’t remember 10th or 11th either. The holidays are pretty soon, but I’m not holding my breath, I'll see her. I’ll probably end up with a phone call or a text, and a big amount of money to buy whatever I want for a Christmas present.
What I want, unfortunately I can’t get with cash. Apparently after I moved into the house and my mom married Derek, they set up some kind of fund for me. I have a debit card I can use to pay for things with the money in the account. I have no clue how much is in there now, because I don’t really touch it. I’m not the one to spend countless hours at the mall like Zoey, and anything around the house I need the house manager gets for me. At the start of every school year, I get uniforms for school, and the only time I ever needed to buy new clothes, Sade took me. That was weird though.
I actually do need to buy some stuff though, and no way will I let Sade help me buy them. Obviously I can’t talk to my mom about it, so I have to figure this out on my own. I can order things to have them delivered, so maybe I can do it like that, I don’t know. I have been looking at an online store where you can buy absolutely everything, so that’s probably what I need to do, and it should get here soon. I just can't think about going to the store and actually getting it. I guess maybe I’m going to have to get over that, but right now, I’m just not handling it at all well.
There’s a knock on my door, so I get up and go to open it, when I do Sade is standing there. He hands me a big box, “These are for you. I know you didn’t ask but I thought you would need them soon. You haven’t had your mother to speak with you about things, so rather than have you be embarrassed about trying to procure what you need, I had it taken care of for you. Zoey’s is handled by the house manager when items for the house are purchased each month. As I know you may not know what to get, or what you would prefer, I took the liberty of having quite a few things included, that way you can figure that out.”
I look at the box, and then I set it on my bed and open it. It’s full of all sorts of feminine products, which is what I was panicking about. I started my period for the first time, and I didn’t have anything here. I didn’t know how to get stuff here really quickly. I wouldn’t have thought of asking the staff, but I still have trouble asking the staff for anything. I’m embarrassed as hell that Sade gave this to me, but he mentioned Zoey has this stuff purchased for her, so I guess he’s familiar with that as her brother.
“Thank you Sade.” That's about all I can muster right now as I try not to cry.
“Please don’t be embarrassed, okay. I just wanted to help take care of you.”
I turn and give him a rather watery smile, “I know, thanks, really, it means a lot. I just wished she was here to do this.”
“Yes, I know. I’m sorry she is unavailable for you. I am here if you wish to talk, although I would imagine this would feel uncomfortable for you. Cook would be a good one to speak with, as she’s older and a grandmother, so she’s had some experience.”
“I didn’t know that, but thank you for the advice, I’ll remember that.” I give him as genuine a smile as I can manage. He nods and walks away.
I set and look at all the things in the box. There’s pads, tampons, a menstrual cup, whatever the hell that is, and then there’s medicine for cramps. There’s a heating pad, chocolate bars, other candy, and a pair of fluffy pajamas. I put the flaps on the box down, and I cry. I cry because a boy who is just my step brother thought of this. He celebrates my birthdays, he’s the one around for all the holidays. Then, when my mother should be the one talking to me about my period, and getting me the supplies I need, it’s Sade who actually does. I cry because that fact breaks my heart.
Then I wipe my tears, go into the bathroom with the box, and put the new things away that I need. Then I put on the pajamas, which fit me perfectly, grab the candy and chocolate, and crawl into my bed to watch tv. I just keep telling myself tomorrow will be better.