Chapter 150: Epic Fail

Barnabas

Well, today was an epic disaster. I will be doing damage control for a while because of this shit. My daughter was a complete zombie all day. She wouldn’t walk unless we forced her; Sade had to force her to say her vows in front of the priest. She never smiled for one single picture, and she is completely blank in all of them.

She never touched the food, never shook a single hand, never said anything to any of the guests, and even choked on her own bite of wedding cake. The wedding planner had to have the wedding dress shop owner come in for an emergency alteration of the dress. Rain has lost so much weight over the last couple of weeks that the dress didn’t fit. She’s starting to look sick the longer she doesn’t really eat.

As Shamus said, I’m starting to worry about how hard it is for her to go from blank mode with everyone to mom mode with the kids. Sade has talked about it as well. Today was just blatantly obvious how far she has gone downhill. The other men in my family are having their own issues; namely, their wives are pissed they had to do all of this against her will and force her.

Maggie lit into me and Nigel the other day when we were talking about Rain and Sade, “You keep acting like he didn’t rape her, Barnabas.”

“He loves her; there is no denying that. He has never hurt her; that it was intentional, Maggie.” She shook her head.

“Did she say yes, Barnabas? Did he get her consent? If the answer to that is no, then it’s rape. I don’t give a fuck if he romanced her, gave her a million-dollar ring, told her he loved her, and all of that bullshit. If she said no, it’s rape plain and simple, and you need to pull your fucking head out of your own ass and pay attention to the reality in front of you. You are destroying your own daughter because you didn't fucking listen. She won’t come back from this shit.” With that, she turned and stormed off.

I thought she was just being an emotional woman, but watching Rain today, I am starting to wonder if she is right. It’s too late. The contract was signed, the vows have been spoken, and they are married. There’s no going back; there is no divorce in this life. Sade is trying, but I wonder if there is any way through this for him. He’ll never let her go, but in some ways it’s like he’s holding onto a corpse that we both helped to kill.

Sade

I hate this bullshit. Today ended up so bad. There is no other way to describe it. Rain is absent; her body may be here, but Rain is nowhere to be found today. Her wedding day, and it was awful. I had to basically force her to say her vows, and then she was so out of it that she couldn’t really even do it. The priest had to just sluff it under the rug that she couldn't say them.

She’s still not eating, and her weight is declining too fast. If she’s pregnant, she may not be able to carry the baby if she keeps up like this. I know that not having the kids with her has basically made today one that she wanted to escape by any means necessary.

I saw the look on the photographer's face as he kept trying to get her to smile. She wasn’t even looking straight ahead most of the time. She didn’t kiss me back when we had our first kiss as official husband and wife, as announced by the priest. She didn't kiss me back in the pictures. In fact, she didn’t even touch me; her hands were just limp at her side the whole time. I am sure some people think she was drugged out of her fucking mind today. Barnabas will be doing damage control for all of this, I’m sure.

I had to guide her hand for her to cut the cake, or to feed it to me. Then when I pushed the fork into her mouth with the cake, she started to choke, and I had to help her spit it out, so she never even ate a bite of our wedding cake. She didn’t touch the food either.

I tried to get her to dance with me, but she wouldn't move, so finally I put her feet on mine and moved us both. When I did that, it emphasized just how much lighter she is than she was before. She is honestly scaring me, and I know while we are on our honeymoon I will have to draw a line in the sand and she’ll hate me for it, but she’s slowly killing herself. She is not even aware that she is doing it; she’s just blanking out and not eating.

It is almost time for us to leave to go to the airport. She has no idea where we are going, and I have a feeling that when she sees the plane and not the house where the kids are, she might start to lose it, so I have a plan in place. Now, I’ll just have to implement it. It’s one I have been working over for a while, and it’s the way it has to be.

When we are alone on the island and she can’t go anywhere, I’ll explain things to her and make her understand the way it has to be. I will be the bad guy again to have her and my family with me. I need to pull her from the edge, not just for me, but for the kids we have, and those I want us to have in the future. I am not sure I can come back from this, but at least I’ll have her in more of a way than I do now. That is the only bright spot I will be able to get from this, I am afraid.

Barnabas comes over and pats me on the shoulder. He tries to talk to Rain, but she is unresponsive. He shakes his head and then walks away. I grab her arm and lead her to the car. I help get her fastened in, and the driver pulls away from the curb. She just watches out the window.

When we get to the airstrip, I see her look confused for a moment, like she’s trying to work things out but her brain is fuzzy. When she blanks out so hard she has trouble pulling herself out of it. Now is one of those times.

She turns and looks at me with horror, and I hate that fucking look. I sigh and shake my head, then stab her with the needle I had at the ready. She jerks away, but it’s too late. I see her eyes close, and she slumps forward. I carry her onto the plane, and we fly off to the island.