Chapter 20
POV Samuel
I step back from Tatyana to admire her body. I don’t really know what to think or how to act around her. Tonight, especially, wearing that red dress that shows off her long legs, she drives me insanely wild and makes me desperate to kiss her. Yet, I’m also brought back to our moment in bed. I can still feel the sensation of the whip in my hand. My heart aches—I never imagined sharing this pain with anyone until Taty appeared.
Without realizing it or being able to control myself, I pull her into my arms. She rests her head on my chest and takes a deep breath. Taty raises her face to look at me intently, searching for answers to all the questions she carries inside.
"Why do you have so much pain inside you?" she asks. I don’t respond; I just find her lips in a desperate, deep kiss.
I want to taste her, to feel her tongue envelop mine, and to ignite the uncontrollable flame that burns within me every time we’re together. It’s a feeling entirely different from anything I’ve ever experienced. A sensation opposite to the rage I feel, which spreads like a corrosive disease, consuming me little by little.
This insane, uncontrollable desire calls for Tatyana’s body, her scent, her lips. She holds my face and deepens the kiss, leaving me breathless. Taty slides her hand over mine, guiding me to the edge of the bridge. We sit carefully, and I admire the vast river flowing beneath us. She stands and settles herself between my legs, allowing me to embrace her from behind and wrap my arms around her waist. Her back leans against my chest, but she quickly moves away because of the sting. I run my hand over her soft skin and slowly lower her dress, revealing some marks. Taty arches slightly, and my lips kiss her wounds—the wounds I caused, the pain I made her feel.
I question why it makes me feel good to hurt others. My lips gently kiss her sweet skin, which carries a delicate floral scent. She takes my hands and places them on her breasts, already aroused by the cool breeze brushing against our bodies.
"I’m sick," Taty declares calmly.
"What? I knew it. I see your fragile, small body—" She lets out a delightful laugh that irritates me.
"I suffer from hypersexuality. I’m a nymphomaniac and feel the need for sex, as much as possible, all the time."
Taty turns her body to face me, straddling my lap, grinding and rubbing her pussy against my cock.
"Give yourself to me now, Tatyana," I ask.
Immediately, my cock grows hard as I feel her pussy teasing it, desperate to take me in. She pulls up her dress, showing me that she wants me too. I quickly unzip my trousers, freeing my throbbing cock. Taty doesn’t need to ask me to take her—I feel this wild desire coursing through my veins all the time. Her sweet pussy slowly slides down my stiff, eager cock. She starts riding me while her body clings to mine.
My hands wander over her curves, stopping at her ass, which I squeeze to make her move faster. It’s an uncontrollable pleasure to feel her on me—her body, her touch, her lips… I want all of her, even her very life. I want her to be mine in a way I never imagined wanting anyone.
"I’m sorry for hurting you," the words escape me, leaving me tormented.
I spent my entire life training to be strong, to feel nothing, to care about no one. But now I feel weak, destroyed, as if I’ve lost my way and have just been killed.
***
POV Tatyana
Samuel's hands take possession of my breasts, squeezing them with fervor. I increase the rhythm of my riding, consumed by this wild pleasure that constantly ignites because of this man.
He apologized to me, and I hold his face, kissing him intensely and passionately. Samuel is opening up to me, and I can finally confess that my feelings for him have grown into something far beyond mere desire. This urge to provoke him, to try to understand his darkness, is my way of showing that he is carving a space in my heart. I love his arrogant, dark, and dominant nature. Knowing that I can't have him when all of this is over makes me sad.
My right hand slides to the back of his neck, gripping his hair tightly as I let out a moan of pleasure into his mouth. Our touches are rough, eager, desperate! The pain from his grip blends with the insane desire, setting my body ablaze with fire and passion. As if every minute were the last and this feeling could never be enough.
My pussy takes him in frantically as his jaw tightens, and he groans. The arrogant man grips my waist, and I lean back, letting the pleasure fill me. A sharp desire spreads slowly, devouring everything I feel.
"Ah, damn, so good, I'm going to come," Samuel announces, closing his eyes and thrusting forcefully into me as he presses my hips.
My clit, already swollen with arousal, rubs against him as I am overtaken by this devouring feeling! Samuel grips my ass hard, making me feel pain and pleasure at the same time. Together, we give ourselves to this dominant sensation. His release fills me, and I let my body fall against his chest. I lift my face to look at him, pleadingly.
"Damn it, this is wrong!" he bursts out, agitated.
He stands, adjusting his pants, and I quickly fix my dress. His words come out hollow, searching for meaning in the wind, in the night. Samuel embraces me, his hands pressing into my back as he leans me backward. I glance sideways at the vast river and the height separating us.
"What’s wrong?" I ask, surprised and confused.
"I can't feel this anymore!"
"Feel what, Samuel?" A cold, foreboding breeze cuts through me, sending shivers over my skin.
"Tatyana, you came in and consumed everything in me! I don't feel like the same man anymore, and I can't afford to be weak. I can’t care, and you’re torturing me little by little. Do you know what it means to have weaknesses? It means opening yourself up to being defeated, to being killed. I’m fighting, swallowing, and ripping out everything that means love or feelings from within me. I can’t have you. Love is a weakness—you are a weakness—and you must be eliminated," Samuel says, wrapping his hand around my neck and tilting my body further back. I lose my balance and clutch his jacket for support.
"And the baby?" I ask, saddened.
"I’ll find another bitch like you to have this child."
I feel anger, I feel pain. I know he wants to punish me with his words for what he’s feeling.
"Samuel Colt will destroy my soul? Probably not. But I will destroy his even further and show him that he can't control everything—not me."
"Let go of me, let me fall into the cold water, let me drown in agony while you savor your pain, Samuel Colt."
His eyes turn gray, the coldness of winter mixed with an uncontrollable fury.
"What did you say? You won’t beg me to save you?" he retorts, outraged.
"I don’t need to be saved. Don’t be a coward!"
My words hit him hard, and his gaze darkens.
The arrogant man studies my face as if wanting to memorize every imperfection.
"My mother died on this bridge. She couldn’t bear to have a weak son, a son who loved! Tonight, I will prove to her—and to myself—that I am beyond salvation!" Colt angrily removes my hands from his jacket and tilts my body further, his icy fingers compressing my neck.
"I hate you, and at the same time, I want to love you. I can't live with both feelings screaming inside me. I’m sorry!"
His final words are like a balm, and even as Samuel Colt lets me go, throwing me into the river, I feel peace.
The wind envelops me like a blanket as I plummet from the bridge into the vast Moscow River. The icy blue waters pull me in as if tearing my cold, aching body apart.
I sink into the river, feeling the freezing water pierce my body. But it’s not colder than Samuel Colt’s soul, the one who cast me into these waters to drown.
I struggle to swim despite not knowing how, mustering all my strength, but I sink deeper. Every attempt to swim becomes harder, more exhausting, as I try to reach the surface. I start suffocating; my arms ache intensely, and I’m overcome with panic.
No one should feel fear, but it has consumed all my senses as I fall into the blue expanse of the Moscow River. A winter night, with a blanket of shining stars covering the sky. I felt my body gradually sink into the icy water, a gust of cold and dread cutting through me mercilessly.
Under the moonlight, I felt my life being carried away by the powerful currents flowing deep in the river. Like a voiceless scream, like dust in the air, I lost myself, unable to find my way back. Everything becomes dark, somber, lonely, and I feel nothing anymore. I am carried away by a faint memory of comfort from the past.