Chapter 20: Chapter Twenty

I’m a fucking idiot.

Ryder laced his hands on top of his head and paced his room. It was bad enough he could barely control himself around Madison, but to pin her against the wall like he had? To tell her he wanted to sink his aching cock into her? Even if that was the truth, he never should have said it, not out loud, and definitely not to her.

But he’d felt the way she’d tensed, her sharp intake of breath, the way she’d looked at him. He groaned. Why wouldn’t she just admit she wanted him as badly as he wanted her? What the hell was she so afraid of?

He snatched his cell phone from the dresser and scrolled through his recent calls until he reached Tanner’s name and number. His brother had worked hard to finally get Jules to go out with him. She’d parked him squarely in the friend zone for quite a while before she trusted him enough to take things further. Tanner had the patience of a saint, but he’d never once given up, and it had paid off for him. Big time.

Ryder had no idea how his brother had done it, but maybe it was time to find out. His thumb hesitated over Tanner’s name. Was he really going to call his younger brother for dating advice? God, he had it bad. Frustrated, he threw his phone onto the bed.

A loud knock sounded on the door. He hadn’t ordered room service, and it was the middle of the night, so it couldn’t be housekeeping.

He crossed the room and opened the door. “Madison?”

“You,” she said, pointing at him. Her other hand was balled into a fist by her side.

Her face was red with fury, and her normally hazel eyes blazed with specks of green. Damn, that was sexy. He allowed his gaze to roam down the length of her body. She wore a too-large college T-shirt that stopped mid-thigh. Her long, tanned legs went on for miles, stopping at two adorably small bare feet. Yup—he was in a shitload of trouble.

“What did I do wrong now?” he asked around a heavy sigh, dragging his gaze back up to meet hers.

“You make it impossible to hate you,” she said.

“Uh…” He tilted his head with confusion. “Sorry?” he said.

“Since I met you, I’ve been doing everything in my power to keep you away, to not let you get too close. Hell, I even named my efforts Operation Resist Ryder.”

He laughed, but when her glare turned deadly, he sobered and cleared his throat. “Sorry. You were saying?” He gripped the edge of the door and kept his gaze trained on her face, on the way the green in her eyes sparkled like road flares.

“I really want to dislike you, Ryder. With every fiber of my being, I want to be able to be around you and be…indifferent—” she said.

“Bullshit.”

She narrowed her eyes.

He took a step closer. “Is that what this is all about? You want to hate me but can’t? So, naturally, this is somehow my fault?”

“No,” she said through clenched teeth, then shook her head. “I mean, yes. Why do you have to be so damn nice all the time?”

“Would you prefer I be a dick? Because I’m sure I pull that off for you.” Anger ignited in his chest and spread to his limbs. Was that really what she wanted—for him to be a complete asshole? Was that the type of guy she liked? Must be, because being the nice guy certainly wasn’t working for him, or her, apparently.

“I don’t know. Maybe.” She threw her arms in the air in frustration.

“Hey, take it in your room,” said a guy from two rooms down. He shook his head, then slammed his door shut.

Ryder stepped aside and motioned for Madison to come into his room. She hesitated, but finally stepped over the threshold. Ryder closed the door and walked farther into the room. He stopped near the window and turned to face Madison.

“So, let me get this straight. You want me to be a dick to you so it’s easier for you to hate me?” He crossed his arms and lifted a brow.

“Yes.”

“Nope.” He shook his head. “Not gonna happen.”

She was crazy if she thought he was going to suddenly become a douche bag just so she could keep pushing him away.

“God, you’re infuriating.” She stomped her foot and balled her hands into fists again. Then she marched up to him and poked him in the chest.

He inhaled deeply, nostrils flaring, as he tried to focus on anything but the feel of her touching him, even if it was only the tip of her finger on his chest. With her, something so small had the power to bring him to his knees if he dwelled on it.

“If you think for one second that this fake fiancé arrangement is going to turn into something more, it’s not,” she said, punctuating her sentence with another hard poke to his chest.

He stared down at her, the muscle in his jaw ticking with growing anger and frustration. “I’m well aware of where I stand with you, Madison. You don’t need to keep telling me.”

“Good.”

“Now tell me, who are you really trying to convince that this will never be anything more than friendship?” He stepped closer, putting them toe to toe. Her eyes sparked, and the corner of his mouth curled up into a knowing grin.

“Yeah, all that”—she waved her finger in front of his face—“isn’t going to work on me, playboy.”

He grin morphed into a full-blown smile, dimples showing. “All what?”

“Those dark, brooding eyes. That sexy smile. Those dimples.” She huffed, her face flushed with something that most definitely was not anger. “I’m going to keep resisting you, Ryder.”

“I have no doubts you are,” he said, a teasing lilt to his voice. Then he leaned closer, putting his mouth mere inches from hers, and stared deeply into her eyes. “And if you think for one second that I’m going to make it easy on you, you’re wrong. You want me, Madison. It’s written all over your face right now, and sooner or later, you’re going to let me in.”

She flattened her palms on his chest and started to shove him away, but then she stopped, and her hands inched lower. Her eyelids lowered, and she bit on her bottom lip, cutting off the needy groan rumbling from deep inside her. Christ, she was going to kill him. But he was close—so close—to her finally giving in.

His cock hardened at the thought that tonight might be the night she gave in to the undeniable lust and want that circled them whenever they were together. His heart thrashed in his chest, demanding he make a move. Slowly, he lifted his hand and cradled the side of her neck, his thumb stroking the soft spot behind her ear.

“Madison,” he whispered. “Please.” He wasn’t above begging. Not now. Not ever where she was concerned.

“I gotta go.” She jerked away from his hand, ducked around him, and sprinted out of the room.

“Shit.” He hung his head and glanced down at his hard cock. “Looks like it’s just you and me again tonight, big guy.”

****

The following morning, Madison stood down in the lobby and waited for Ryder. It was too quiet this time of day, not many people checking in or out. Really, what sane person would leave such a posh hotel at this crazy hour? She’d give anything to hop back on the elevator, go back up to her room, and lose herself in the comfort of her bed.

She fumbled to get her cell phone out of her pocket, intent on texting Ryder to find out what was taking him so long, but she barely got the message typed when he came walking toward her. Dressed in cargo shorts and a T-shirt, he looked like he hadn’t slept a wink. She knew the feeling. Despite how soft her bed was, she’d spent most of the night tossing and turning. At one point, around one a.m., she’d considered knocking on his door again and throwing herself at him. It had been difficult to talk herself out of that bad idea.

“Ready?” he asked.

“Yeah.” She followed him to the front desk and waited while he checked out. Then she walked silently behind him out to his car.

He took her backpack and put it in the trunk along with his suitcase, then he marched toward the passenger door. Even after the way she’d treated him last night, he was still being a gentleman today. That only made her feel worse about the things she’d said to him.

“Something wrong?” he asked when she hadn’t moved to get in the car.

“I don’t know. You tell me.” She crossed her arms. “We have to be in this car together for another ten hours today, and I’m not going to spend the whole time getting the silent treatment.”

“I’m not giving you the silent treatment. I just didn’t sleep much last night, okay? I’m tired. That’s all.”

She had no doubts about that. The dark lines under his eyes proved his words true, but things had changed between them last night. And not for the better.

“I’m sorry.” She frowned. “I don’t want things to be weird between us.”

He rubbed his hand over his face. “It’s not.” He smiled. “Promise. Now will you please get in the car so we can go?”

With a small nod, she got into the car. When he closed the door, she sucked in a sharp breath, knowing he was trying to make things better. But no words would take back what happened between them. She wasn’t sure anything could.