Chapter 39: Chapter Thirty-Nine

Olivia

We didn't stay long at Jason's parents house. Infact, we stayed for less than an hour. I finally got to meet Jason's father, who is a lovely person. Tall as both his sons with blond hair, which I now see that Joe took. Jason's mother made small talk with me, she was not as rude as the first time I got here but still very distant. His father on the other hand was very happy, saying Jason did good by me. At least the news of my impending pregnancy was not mentioned.

We're now sitting on the roof. I'm having wine even though Jason didn't want me to, and he is having a beer. I'm sitting infront of him on the chaise with his legs on both my sides.

"So you want your ring like this?." He asks me looking at the image on my phone.

We're having the impending conversation about my ring. The image on my phone is just a normal ring honestly but the stones are cut small and put all around the ring in a zigzag pattern.

"Yes. Basically this big Stone here," I say pointing to the ring on my finger, "will have to be cut into smaller pieces and be put all around. But I don't want the stones to go all around just half the ring, meaning on top. Then the other half, the bottom, should be clear." I finish telling him.

"Ok, I accept with one condition though." He says after a while. I expected it honestly, especially after having my way this whole week.

"Ok, let's hear it."

"As soon as the ring comes back and you put it on, it does not come off." I laugh so hard because it's something I expected him to say. After my laughing session I look at him and ask, "is that the only condition?" And he shakes his head no and says something I never expected to hear from him.

"You work for the next three months then you resign at work." That gets my full attention. I get up on my knees and turn to face him, he looks as serious as ever.

"Jason you can't be serious, what will I do sitting alone home?" I ask him.

"Babe, we have a baby to prepare for and a wedding." He says like that is an obvious thing I should have thought of.

"Jason we haven't even set the date yet, and my blood work hasn't come back." I tell him sitting down on the balls of my heels.

"Yes the results are not back but you heard your mother. And I thought that maybe you wanted the same thing I wanted." He says putting his hands on top of my thighs.

"And what is it that we want again?" I ask him getting worked up.

"For the wedding to happen sooner so as to move it out of the way." He says cooly, grating my nerves.

I shake my head, slowly standing up. He sits up also but doesn't stand up. I silently watch him, wondering why he is in such a hurry to get married. What exactly he is chasing at this speed he is going at. I turn to go back down to the house and suddenly he's holding my hand and standing infront of me.

"Baby I don't want to pressure you into anything but I need you to understand." He says suddenly, his eyes looking frantic like he is panicking.

"What exactly am I supposed to understand Jason?" I ask him looking up at him.

"I've wanted you for a damn long time. And I want you hook and sinker. If you dont want the wedding now, I will understand but please don't make me wait to have you as mine." He says then puts his forehead on mine closing his eyes.

I feel a trickle of wetness on my face, when I go to wipe it I feel a year falling down on my face from Jason. I've never seen him emotional before and I wonder if anyone has ever seen this side of him.

"I want to marry you Jason, but we are not going to rush into anything." I say to him pulling my head back to look him in the eyes. "We have our whole lives ahead of us, we're not going to rush to get married." I explain needing him to understand.

"Ok, ok, yes I understand." He says taking a step back from me and I feel him pulling back from me emotionally too.

"Jason, I'm not saying we're not going to get married, I'm just saying we take our time. I'm not going anywhere." I tell him walking to him but he takes a step back and I feel my heart break. Tears start falling from my eyes as I feel his rejection, or maybe it's my rejection I'm feeling.

I look at him then, with his head down, looking like a child who's never been loved. I take another step forward to him but he takes another back. A sob wretched itself out of my chest then and I run towards the elevator and to the flat. Instead of going to the our room, the one I've shared with him, I go to my previous room that he'd given me and I lock the door behind me and fall on the bed crying.

I spill my tears on the pillow silently until I feel nothing but pain surging through my body and my heart. I cry until I have no tears to spill. I get up then and go to the shower and step in after shedding my clothes. After my shower I crawl under the blankets to sleep. Sleep is not easy though, because this is not the bed my body is used to. But what's worse is that I'm alone in bed.

No Jason keeping me warm.

No Jason snuggling me from behind.

No Jason to hold me while I sleep.

The tears start all over again. Tears I thought I didn't have anymore, and I know I will be feeling dehydrated tomorrow. I didn't want to cry. I still don't. I can't even fall asleep and that's making me feel worse because it tells me that I've gotten used to having Jason next to me all the time. I regret now coming in here to sleep. But I will not go back to his bedroom. Maybe I should go to my flat.

I stand up then, decision made, and pull on the towel around my body. When I open the door, Jason is sitting there on the opposite wall with his head between his legs. He lifts his head then and looks at me. I continue walking though, when I get to the bedroom and in my side of the closet, I pull a bag out and start throwing my clothes inside. When I'm done, I pull on jeans and a t-shirt then put on my sneakers and shoulder my bag.

He's standing by the door of the closet and when I walk towards him to walk out, he moves to let me pass. And that hurts me even more as I go out of the bedroom without a glance back.