Goof
Our Anthony is two months old now. He stays up more and is more alert. Silvy and I have settled into a working routine. And we are happy. Or I was. I love my son and my girl Silvy. I love them with everything in me. But today I need a break. Ant cried all day yesterday. No matter what Silvy did she couldn’t get him to stop for more than ten minutes. I tried myself but nothing worked. We both took turns through the night rocking him, trying to get him to eat, and patting his back, Silvy even gave Ant gas medicine to try to help. Nothing worked. We were both exhausted. Silvy stayed downstairs in the living room so I could get some rest.
I could still hear Ant through the night even when I covered my ears with a pillow. I was only able to get a couple of hours of sleep. When I woke up this morning I could hear Ant’s muffled cries through the closed door. What was wrong with that kid? I got up and checked the time. I had to be at the club in an hour for church. Fuck. I went to the bathroom to take a piss and washed my face. I quickly got dressed and made my way downstairs. Silvy was in the kitchen at the counter making coffee. Ant was in a carrier strapped to her chest as she swayed back and forth. Ant was still crying. His eyes were red. He looked so tired.
“ Mommy has you,” Silvy said patting his back. Silvy quickly made herself a cup of coffee and then stepped aside. I step up to get some and see Silvy has already made me a cup. Just like she always does for me. Silvy not only takes care of me but Ant at the same time. I grabbed the cup and took a hard pull of it not caring it was hot. I needed to wake up before I got on my bike. Silvy was sipping her coffee while Ant's cries turned to whimpers. He might be settling down now. Silvy looked exhausted. She had dark circles under her eyes. All her movements were like she was on autopilot. She just keeps swaying to keep Ant happy. She is a zombie and is still making sure our baby is happy. I know she is trying to be a good mom. So why can't she stop Ant's constant crying? I'm back to work I need sleep. Silvy still has a week before she has to go back.
I can't have my brothers pissed at me because I fell asleep at work or in church. None of my other brothers had this problem. I watch Ant turn his head and start screaming. Silvy places her coffee on the counter and pats his back. She shushes him and presses him closer to her trying to calm him but nothing is working. I can't stand it. I slam my mug on the counter not caring that coffee splashes out. " Silvy, I am exhausted. I have to go to church and then work. Can you get him to stop? You are a nurse for fuck -sake. Can't you figure out what is wrong with him?" I snapped. She looks at me with shock in her eyes from my outburst. What did she expect? " Goof, I have tried everything I know to do. It isn't gas. He doesn't have a fever. He isn't sick that I can see. He just wants to cry and not be put down." she said with a huff.
Is she kidding me right now? "You don't know enough. You must be a lousy nurse if you can't figure out what is wrong with your child." yelled making Ant cry louder. This is the first time I have raised my voice at either of them. I'm a little surprised myself. But at this second I can't bring myself to care. Silvy looks at me like she is too tired to care what I say. " You are right Goof. Maybe I'm not good enough. At least I am trying to make him happy." she said. " Fuck this. Try harder. I'm leaving. I don't know when I will be back." I said to Silvy as she walked to the living room and lay him on the couch to change his diaper. Silvy had her back to me and shook her head. "Goodbye, Goof." was all she said while she tended to our son. I grabbed my kutte , and keys and left. I'll crash at the club tonight so I can get a decent night's sleep. Maybe Silvy figure out what is wrong with Ant and fix it.
I had managed to stay awake through church and work. How? I don't know. I was drinking massive amounts of coffee. After work, I grabbed a burger and beer and went to my old room. I unlocked the door thrilled to see it was the same way I left it. I lay in bed to eat and have my beer. It wasn't long after I ate and cleaned up that I had fallen into a quiet peaceful sleep.
Silvy
The other shoe dropped. Just when I had finally thought it wouldn't. Surprisingly, it didn't take much. Just a crying baby. Yes, Ant has been crying for a day. And like I told Goof I have tried everything to make Ant happy. No matter what I did Ant was not a happy baby. I guess it was too much for Goof. I didn't look at him when he left because I didn't want him to see my tears. He didn't deserve it. I was hurt by his words, angry that he would walk away so easily, I am just as tired as he is. If not more because I make sure Goof gets to sleep at night since he is the one working right now. I'm sad because my heart is breaking. I did the one thing I said I wouldn't do. I fell in love with Goof. I let my walls down and thought we were going to be a family. I feel like a fool.
I let myself cry with Ant for a few minutes to get it all out. I deserve that. When I'm done I take a deep breath and focus on my son. It is just Ant and me now. Just the way it should have been. I gave Ant a bath to help relax him. My poor guy is so tired but something is stopping him from sleeping. I spent the rest of the day doting on him and wearing nothing but a sports bra so he could have the skin contact he loves so much. It helps and Ant sleeps for a least thirty minutes at a time. More than before. That is how we spend the night.
The next morning I woke up after another rough night for Ant and decided enough was enough. I was taking him to the doctor. I need to know what is wrong with my son if anything. Last night he was crying so hard after he ate that he threw it all up. I called Ant's doctor but they are all booked up and can't get Ant in until tomorrow. I'm not waiting so I get us dressed, packed up and head to the ER. I know enough doctors I'm going to call in a few favors. When we get to the hospital I find a parking spot as close to the door as possible. I grab Ant's car seat from the back and head into the ER entrance with a very mad Ant. He is screaming at the top of his lungs by the time we reach the reception desk.
I set the car seat down and take Ant out placing him against my chest and start bouncing him. The receptionist recognize me, " Silvy what's wrong? Is your baby alright?" I give her a quick rundown of what has been going on and everything I have done. " Let's get you back there. It is pretty quiet today," she said as she walked us through the ER doors. I didn't think to bring my badge or I would have gone back myself. Just before the door closes I hear my name being called. I turn and see Tank and Lilly standing in the hall that leads to the elevators but I ignore them. I will explain to them later. Once in the back, Dr. Farris greeted us. He takes one look at me and Ant and takes us to a room.
I sit on the bed with Ant screaming and explained everything to Farris. I felt like I was going to cry again. " I don't know what else to do. I read the books and did my exam of him and can't find out what is wrong." I sniffled. Farris put his arm on my shoulder " Silvy, you have done nothing wrong. Let me have a look at Anthony and see if I can help you figure it out. " I let him take Ant from my arms and lay him on the bed to examine him. Ten minutes later after Farris checked every inch of Ant without an x-ray or Cat scan Farris let me pick Ant up and cuddle him. " Silvy, it appears Ant has an ear infection," Farris said. " What? He hasn't shown any of the usual symptoms." I said. " I know. He appears to be one of those kids that don't follow the norm. I'm going to get you some antibiotic drops that I want you to give him for seven days as well as some pain drops to put in his ear. You can give him ibuprofen for the pain to help. he has been suffering so much we will give him a dose now." Farris said. I was so relieved to know what was wrong with my baby and it wasn't me screwing up. Now that that was handled I need to make arrangements to take care of Ant on my own. The first thing to do, get the locks changed.