Chapter 24: Unwanted Feelings

Augustus’s green eyes stared right back at me, stirring emotions I thought I had buried a year ago.

But here he was, starting a fire within me once again, giving me hope that he might be sincere this time.

But hope is such a cruel thing to have.  Because even if he professes his undying love and brings me the heavens and the stars, we both know.

We’re rivals.  Deadly rivals.

And he belonged to my sister, until his last breath.  A Vassal can’t leave his Queen, unless death comes between them.  Or she drops or gets disqualified disgracefully from the competition.

And even though Medea was like a live grenade, she and Father weren’t fucking idiots.  They know how to evade every law by the book.

The Locke Family won’t be holding one of the highest positions in the Lycan Council if they were fools.

I pulled my hand and stepped farther from him.  “You’re Medea’s Vassal.  Regardless if we’re fated or not, you belong to her.  I don’t covet someone I can’t have.”

I began to dress his wound while trying to avoid his gaze and his hands.  Augustus kept on staring at me, as if I would disappear suddenly.

No, Hestia.  Don’t let him round your head again.

“Medea told me that you ran away because you were afraid of being Luna Hunt.  That night, I… waited for you to return,” Augustus shattered the silence around us.  “I tried to look for you, but… you didn’t want to be found.”

I scoffed.  “Why would I want to be found when I know I’ll die if I ever set foot in the Capital? Besides, I already got the message.  I know I’m not favored by my father, so maybe the position of being your Luna was quite a punch to the moon, even for me.”

I could still remember that night vividly in the back of my mind.  That was the eve of the Full Moon festival.  Augustus asked me to wait for him so we could attend the festival together, but the night grew old without a sight of him.

Until two massive Black Wolves wearing the Hunt Family crest attacked me and kidnapped me.  When I came to my senses, I was in the middle of the forest, still alive, yet barely.

I could still hear the words they said to me before leaving.  “Disappear now, Luna Hunt.  Your husband wants your sister in your position.  Surely you’re not a fool to covet someone you could never have.  The Alpha isn’t someone for you to love, Hestia Locke.”

“What are you even talking about? You’re all I ever wanted!  You were the one I dreamt of for that position…”  Augustus claimed as he grabbed my hands once more, trying to put them near his lips.  “I planned to mark you that night.  I planned to—”

“Augustus,” I calmly called his name, before pulling away.  “I’ve already dressed your wound.  Please leave my room.”

“You don’t believe me, do you?” he asked, his voice cracking.

“How can I?”  I choked.  “You claim to love me, that you didn’t know how I got hurt, but here you are, the closest ally to the person who caused the greatest misfortunes in my life.  Your actions do not reflect your words, so tell me, how could I even trust you?”

“I’m willing to step down as Alpha Hunt.  Just… just drop out of the competition and run away with me.  Just you and me…”

I froze.  Hestia, you’re fucking stupid.

My mouth tasted bitter as I sarcastically laughed.  I gathered all my things in haste, so that I didn’t even bother organizing them, nor checking if they were in the correct order.

My eyes were blurry.  But there was no greater pain nor discomfort than realizing what I was worth to him.

“Hestia—”

“Don’t follow me.”

“Please, let’s—” Augustus grabbed my hand and tried to make me face him.  “Listen to me.  The neutral lands can—”

“To prove that you love me, you want me to give up everything once again? You want me to sacrifice everything I’ve worked so hard for, everything that I’ve started to build again, just so I can be with you?  That’s fucking bullshit, Augustus.”

“You’ll be safer that way! You know your family the best.  You know they won’t stop until they remove you from their path—”

I grabbed him by the collar and let him see the rage painted in my eyes.  My teeth gritted.  “I already sacrificed everything to be with you, Augustus.  Look where it got me. So no, I’d rather fight them and be my own person, than to give up everything only to get discarded when you realize once again I won’t be of too much benefit to you.”

I pushed him into the room before turning my back on him once again.  “Use that room, Alpha.  I’m sure you’re tired,” I coldly said as I walked away.  “We’ll begin the ritual by sundown.”

My steps grew bigger and bigger as I tried to escape that place.  As if putting distance between us would help me forget any unwanted feelings for him.

Maybe I’m acting like this because of the mate bond.  Because I knew that what he said about us being fated was true.

But how could I love someone so two-faced? He claims he loved me, yet he grabs the first opportunity to bring me down.

“Fuck you and your goddamn feelings, Augustus,” I whispered under my breath as I entered Kieran’s room.  He was standing in the middle of the room, about to remove his clothes.  He immediately pulled down his shirt when he noticed the redness of my eyes.

“Hey, what happened?” he asked, before pulling me to sit on the bed.  “You look like shit.”

I simply shook my head.  “It’s nothing.”

His face grew stern.  Kieran made me look at him.  “Hestia, I can see you’re clearly in distress. As your Vassal—”

“Chief, can you… just hold me?” I softly asked.

He didn’t think twice.  Kieran pulled me close and gave me the warmest embrace I could ever have.  He didn’t tease me when he heard my broken sobs muffled by his thick clothes, nor reprimanded me for getting his shoulder wet with snot and tears.

Kieran stayed.

“Is this… about Augustus?”  he gently asked.  “I thought I saw his figure in your room.  I thought that bastard couldn't run three miles just to get here, but… seeing you like this…”

I simply nodded.  My laughs didn’t even sound human anymore.  “I feel like a fucking idiot for loving Augustus Hunt…”

Kieran took out a clean handkerchief and gently wiped the tears and snot off my face.  “Hey, you only loved someone, okay? You’re not an idiot.  Love tends to force you to do stupid things. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

I closed my eyes and lay on the bed.  “I just… want these feelings to disappear so I can focus on the trials…”

Our eyes met when he gently leaned over, our lips almost meeting.  “I can’t make them disappear, but I can help you forget them for a bit, Your Majesty…”