Chapter 84 It can't be
Lila POV
He bent over me suddenly, his presence blotting out the light, and he pressed his mouth firmly against my forehead. It wasn’t gentle and It wasn’t soft. It was desperate.
“You scared the living hell out of me,” he muttered against my skin, his breath uneven. “For a second, I thought I maybe.. but he stopped himself".
A small, weak smile curved my lips despite the pounding in my head. “What?” I teased quietly. “Don’t tell me you were actually worried about me sir?”
He straightened so fast it was like I’d snapped a wire. “That’s not funny,” he snapped, already reaching for his jacket. In seconds, the man hovering over me was gone and replaced by Nico Fattore, sharp, controlled and untouchable. “I’m having food brought up. And you are not moving from this bed. Not an inch. Am I clear?”
Just the mention of food made my stomach roll violently. “I’m not hungry,” I whispered.
He shot me a look that brooked no argument. “You’ll eat every damn bite I send up.”
My throat tightened. I gagged, barely holding it back. His jaw clenched. “I’ll have Doc come check on you.”
Then he was gone, the door closing with a soft but final click. The room felt too quiet after that and my body throbbed everywhere muscles aching, bones heavy, my skull pulsing like it was being split from the inside. I stared at the ceiling, trying to piece together what had happened. I had never fainted before and never blacked out like that.
Maybe Doc was right, maybe my mind had finally hit its limit been kidnapped, beaten, almost raped and nearly killed. Forced to watch my father die at the hands of a man I would gladly watch rot in hell.
Maybe my brain had simply shut down. Taken mercy on me for a few seconds and I deserved that much. I rolled onto my side, curling into the pillow, when nausea slammed into me without warning violent, sudden, unforgiving.
I barely had time to gasp before my stomach heaved. There was no chance of reaching the bathroom. I retched hard, my body folding in on itself as bile burned up my throat and splattered onto the pristine white carpet. There wasn’t much in my stomach, but my body didn’t care. It kept convulsing, forcing dry heave after dry heave, each one more painful than the last.
“Miss Lila!” Doc’s voice cut through the haze as he rushed in. “Are you alright?”
I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, my skin clammy, my eyes burning. “I’m fine,” I lied weakly but he was already crouching beside me, his hand pressing gently to my cheek, then my forehead. “Any fever? Have you felt sick recently?”
I shook my head and collapsed back against the pillows, closing my eyes. “No. Just tired.”
He took my wrist, fingers firm but gentle as he checked my pulse. “Have you eaten anything unusual? Anything that could’ve caused food poisoning?”
“No,” I murmured. “Unless the Fattore kitchen suddenly decided to kill me.”
That earned no smile, then he silence stretched, thick and uncomfortable. I felt his gaze on me, sharp and assessing, until it made my skin prickle. I opened my eyes. “What?” I asked warily.
Doc hesitated, then sighed. “Forgive me for asking so bluntly, but are you using protection?”
I pushed myself upright. “Protection from what?”
He met my eyes steadily. “You and Mr. Fattore. Is there a possibility you could be pregnant?”
The word hit me like a bullet and my stomach lurched violently, and I barely had time to turn before I vomited again. Doc moved fast, shoving a steel bin under my face as I leaned over the bed, my body shaking with each harsh spasm.
Pregnant, It had never crossed my mind not even once. I had always been careful obsessive, even. Birth control shots on schedule, alarms on my phone and notes on my fridge so no excuses but then I’d been drugged, kidnapped, dragged from my life and thrown into hell.
And now, as I counted backward in my head, dread settled deep in my bones because my last shot was overdue even weeks overdue.
Right around the time I’d been taken and another wave of nausea hit, but this time it wasn’t physical, it was pure terror.
“Yeah,” I whispered hoarsely when I could finally speak. “There’s, there’s a big chance.”
My heart wasn’t in my chest anymore. It was everywhere pounding in my ears, my legs, my fingertips.
Doc’s expression hardened with concern. “Alright. I’ll have a pregnancy test brought up. We’ll rule that out before exploring other causes.”
He helped me lie back, pulling the blankets up carefully. “I’ll let Nico know this may be related.”
“No!” I grabbed his hand, panic flashing hot and sharp. “Please. Don’t tell Nico.”
He froze, clearly conflicted. “Not yet,” I added quickly, forcing myself to breathe. “Let’s just let’s see the result first. There’s no reason to upset him if it turns out to be nothing.”
Doc studied my face for a long moment, then nodded. “Alright. I’ll be back within the hour.”
The door closed behind him, and the moment I was alone, my body sagged. If there had been anything left inside me, I would’ve thrown it up.
Pregnant, It couldn’t be real. Out of everything that had gone wrong in my life and every nightmare, every betrayal this was the one thing I wouldn’t be able to fight my way out of.
Cold seeped into my skin even as the blankets felt unbearably heavy. I kicked them off, gasping, feeling like even air was too thick to breathe.
I stumbled into the bathroom, gripping the sink as my knees threatened to buckle. My reflection stared back at me pale, hollow eyed, barely recognizable.
I can’t be pregnant, I just can’t.
This world was too dark, too violent and too cruel to bring an innocent life into it.
And Nico what would he do?
Would he see me as a liability? A weakness? Would he discard me and my child as easily as everything else in his world?
Would he hate me?
Tears burned behind my eyes as panic tightened around my throat. I pressed a trembling hand against my stomach.
What if he saw the baby as leverage? As a weapon against him?
Less than an hour ago, I had condemned a man to death and the truth terrified me I hadn’t just accepted it.
I’d enjoyed it.
The power, the control and the justice.
What kind of woman did that make me?
What kind of mother could someone like me ever be?
I slid down against the counter, my palm still resting over my belly, my breath coming in
shallow, broken gasps.
“Please,” I whispered into the empty room, my voice cracking. “Please, God don’t let me be pregnant.”