Chapter 46: Pep Talk

Two days later, Nathan arrived. It was the weekend so we all stayed at the estate. Before he had helped us with the Dark Moon Pack, I hadn’t seen him in years. When he was here to help us, we didn’t really get to talk. Nathan was amazing. He could get in your head and control what you saw or didn’t see. He was a psychiatrist by profession and as such, was really easy to talk to. He would be here for a while, so when the nuance of his arrival wore off, I would talk to him. I didn’t want to be like my mother.

When school started again on Monday, we went back to the city. I usually liked going to classes but with everything going on, I just didn’t see the point. My friends noticed I had changed. Some wondered if the tumor was coming back; I told them no. Others wondered if it was Shawn mistreating me; again I told them no, that he was great and that I was just having a hard time lately. Some of the Student Intervention kids wanted to help me, but I told them I already had someone to talk to, I just hadn’t yet.

It was a long week. By the end of it, I was ready to talk to Nathan. As with most weekends, we went to my family’s estate. I asked Nathan if we could go somewhere to talk.

“What’s up, Strix?” He asked.

“Not much really. But I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Sure.” He said as we walked to the little house at the end of the driveway. Once inside he said, “What is it you want to talk about? I have noticed you aren’t quite yourself lately.”

“I know I haven’t been. I don’t see the point in it all anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“Lately, it has been one fight after another and we still have at least one coming. Fights used to come like once a decade, maybe. It wasn’t like this. And fights used to serve a purpose, usually someone wanted more territory. These last few have been to experiment or to make a point. What is going on with the world?”

“You’ve never been one to pass on a fight, Strix. Maybe this is about something else.”

“I guess. I mean, I don’t know. I feel like I’m becoming my mother. Everything has gotten so overwhelming lately. And with Tom being Khenzu… I forgot to tell you, Since the first day of classes, when I met Tom, I have been attracted to him. More like drawn to him. Like a bug to a bug zapper. Then we found out that Tom is really Khenzu. And EJ is the only one who can kill him. What if something happens to EJ? What if I go insane during the battle and hurt my son because I am drawn to Khenzu? What if I defended Khenzu?”

“I don’t think you have to worry about defending him. You would be doing it already if that was the case. As for becoming your mother, well she had a mental illness that was exacerbated by becoming a vampire. I think you might be a little depressed and you definitely have an anxiety disorder, but otherwise, I think you are fine.”

“I don’t know, I used to be so sure of things. I was fearless. You know I got kidnapped twice in the last five months. It was not fun either time. I’m afraid to go places by myself. I also just want to be alone. I have so many conflicting feelings all at once. And I just don’t see the point anymore. Why fight when it’s never ending?”

“I didn’t know about the second kidnapping. What happened?”

“Shawn and I were finally going to go on a date. We were supposed to meet at the fountain in the quad. I thought I would go hunting first. Before I could even get to the mountains, I was knocked out. I woke up in a cell. Remember that pack you helped us fight, they kidnapped me. Anyway, they were experimenting with hatching dragons and wanted me and some other half-breeds to be living incubators. They cut us open and put an egg in us. They also kidnapped Shawn and made him watch as they did it to me. I think they originally kidnapped him to keep me in line or something, but then they just wanted to torture him. Anyway, we got rescued. Billy and Donnie got the eggs out of us and destroyed them. And Alpha Seki is now dead, dead. He is not coming back this time.”

“Wow. That is a lot to go through. With your conflicting emotions and what you’ve been through, I think you might have post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I’m going to tell you something. You are a remarkable person. I have known you since you were a baby. Your clan has always looked out for my brother and I. Now, I will look out for you. When you were a kid, no one could tell you that you couldn’t do something. You did it anyway and proved them wrong every time. You will get through this, too. Tom or Khenzu has no control over you. You are your own person. You are strong and beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you differently. This Alpha Seki may have kidnapped you, but he is dead now and you are still here. That says a lot right there. You may have moments of doubt every now and then and you may even have flashbacks but just remember how strong you are. Now I don’t know how this fight against Khenzu is going to go, but I have faith in you and your family. You guys have been an inspiration to so many vampires, you don’t even know. Aside from the Fairchild clan, vampires have not dared to attack your family for centuries. They see all the good you do, the humans and vampires you have helped. A lot of them are intimidated by or envious of this. You guys have been through so many human wars and vampire wars doing so much good. No one can stop you guys. You have so many friends and allies out there. Even some allies you haven’t met. I am sure they would all fight for you. I remember when you traveled with Scott all over the country and the Fairchild clan attacked you at the Seymour’s place. Do you know how many vampires came to help you that you didn’t even see there? There’s a group of vampires with a very stealthy ability. They can turn themselves into shadows. They were in the area that day. They helped you escape because they knew you had greatness in you. If I put the word out, they and many others will come and help in the coming battle. I will stay for this battle and remain for as long as you need me afterwards.”

“Thanks.”

We continued talking about stuff. He continued to encourage me and it was kind of working. I even got to run with snow owls in my head. When we were done, I was feeling better.