Chapter 17: Why is it so hard to breathe?

Amara:

“I can’t wait until this week is over. I really need to have some fun this weekend, or I’m going to go crazy.” Juliet leans her head dramatically against her locker with a groan.

But I’m not looking at her. Instead, my eyes are glued on Kell and Tiffany, who seems to be in deep conversation. Tiffany is wearing a very revealing outfit. It’s a short black mesh top and cut-off jeans that barely cover her ass cheeks. Kell gives her an interested smile and whispers something. I guess that’s the kind of girl that he’s attracted to. My heart stutters with pain at the thought.

I look down at my own outfit and can’t help but feel self-conscious. Unlike Tiffany, I’m dressed more conservatively. I look down at my white, skinny jeans, black silk halter top, and black heels and want to slap myself for letting Tiffany get to me.

Just then, Juliet steps in my line of sight and gives me a puzzled frown. She must notice my distracted stare because she looks to where I’m looking and scoffs. “What the hell? Is that Tiffany? What is that girl wearing?”

I really want to answer her, but I know it would just add fuel to her rant. So, instead, I change the subject and ask her. “What are you going to do tomorrow?”

She gives Tiffany and Kell one last withering glare and turns back to me. “I don’t know. I was thinking of going to the beach and surf a little. How about you?”

I try to smile lightheartedly, but I know it comes out brittle. “I don’t know. My mom is making me do some more pageant practice, but I really don’t have any other plans.”

She shakes her head and waves as Haley makes her way toward us. “Hey, girl!”

Haley smiles and bounces on the balls of her feet. “Hey, ladies.”

We both smile at her exuberance.

Haley opens her locker and removes her books. “Carrick and I made plans to go to see a movie this weekend if you guys are interested.” Juliet and I both shake our heads. “No, thanks,” Juliet whispers with a wink. “I don’t want to be a witness to you and Carrick’s smooch fest.”

I cover my mouth, trying to stifle a chuckle. Haley scowls. “We wouldn’t do that.”

Juliet rolls her eyes. “Ah…no…I don’t want to take that chance. But thanks for the invite.”

Haley looks at me for confirmation, but I shake my head vehemently. “I’ll pass too.”

She pouts, but neither Juliet nor I am swayed. It would just be too weird to crash their date even if she is cool with it. “We better go before Mr. Avila gets upset and gives us detention for being late.”

My photography class is actually in class today. Mr. Avila wants us to go through our pictures and evaluate them. Taylor Mathews, our photo editor, is busy at his station, and Nancy, the head of the yearbook committee, is meeting with her team. I sit in my station and turn on my little heating fan. I had to buy one a few months ago when the cold got too unbearable. I barely slept last night trying to find any information on the girl online. Unfortunately, my search came up empty. It certainly doesn’t help that I didn’t see her face. I couldn’t even see her boyfriend clearly. It’s so frustrating.

A thought occurs to me. Leaning over my desk, I reach for my bag and walk to Taylor’s desk. Taylor’s a really nice guy. Sometimes he’ll call me, or we’ll hang out after photo class and talk. Taylor’s a cute hipster. He likes to wear colorful beanies, oversized glasses and flannel shirts over his fitted tank tops. His dark hair is slicked back, and he has deep blue eyes under thick dark lashes.

Haley doesn’t like him much. She thinks he’s a spoiled pretty boy. He’s not as eye-popping gorgeous as Kell, who makes every woman within his radius melt in their panties. His body is wiry and slightly muscled, where Kell’s is firm and corded with muscles.

“Hey Taylor, can I ask you something?” Taylor turns to me with a large smile and raises a questioning brow. “Hey, Amara. What’s up?”

I take a deep breath and give him a wide smile. “There’s this girl in school who wants some information on pageants. Unfortunately, she gave me her number, but I lost it. And I was wondering…can you help me find some information on her?”

He clears his throat and gestures to his computer screen. “Sure. What’s her name?” I search my mind for the best way to answer him. “It’s Sophie.”

“Sophie, what?”

I bite my lip. “Um…I don’t remember. She has long red hair—bottle red, not natural. Oh, and she has a boyfriend.”

He waits for a moment, then gives me an inquisitive frown. “That’s it?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Yeah. I really didn’t get to talk to her long.”

I can tell that he doesn’t believe my story, but he doesn’t call me on it. Instead, he exhales and starts typing on his keyboard. He hums as he scrolls through the screen. “Okay, I’m checking the student ID database. The database gives us information on their profile, like hair and eye color.”

He leans his chin on his fist and clicks a few buttons. Hm…there are a few Sophie’s here. None of them have red hair, though. There’s a Sophie with red hair, but it’s short and natural.”

I sit next to him and look at the screen as he continues to scroll and points at another picture. “Is this her?” I shake my head. The girl in the picture has bottle-red hair, but her skin is milky white. The girl named Sophie in my dream has dark cocoa skin. I remember lifting one of the strands of hair and looking at it. Her fingers were dark. “No, that’s not her.”

For the next hour, we search through the database without any luck. It’s the most frustrating feeling in the world. Taylor rises from his chair a few minutes later and says regretfully, “Sorry, Amara. I have to get to English Lit. It looks like the girl you’re looking for is not on the computer system. Maybe you should ask Nancy. She’s in the yearbook committee, and she knows almost everyone in the school.”

I nod my head and search for Nancy. “Thanks for trying, Taylor. I really appreciate your help.”

Pointing to Nancy’s retreating form, I mutter. “I better go and catch Nancy before she leaves.”

He nods his head. “Sure. Let me know how it goes.”

I give him one last smile and turn towards Nancy. “Hey, Nancy!” I say loudly and move swiftly as I try to catch up to her retreating form. Nancy turns around and gives me a bright smile. Nancy is gorgeous with wild auburn hair and green eyes. She’s also very trendy with her hipster gear. Today she’s wearing a hipster cap, brown sweater, ripped jeans, and combat boots. “Hey, girl.” She says cheerfully.

I move closer and fall in step beside her. “Hey, Nancy. Quick question. Do you know a girl named Sophie? She has long red hair, dark mocha skin, and a cute boyfriend that loves her a lot?”

Nancy scrunches up her eyebrows. “Um, I know a few Sophie’s, but none with red hair. Sophie Chandler has Mocha skin, but she’s doing this state tour with the Earth club. They’re planting trees or something. I don’t think she has a boyfriend, though. I mean, she used to. But they broke it off this summer when he went off to college. The girl was heartbroken.”

I frown in consternation. “It sounds like her. Do you know when she’ll get back?” She shrugs her shoulder. “I don’t know.”

I nod my head feeling relieved. Maybe it’s her. “Okay, Thanks.”

She nods her head and gives me a delighted smile. “Glad to help. By the way, I can’t wait to see you kick butt at the Miss Arcata pageant.”

Her words dim my excitement. But I don’t let her see it. Instead, I smile. “Thanks, Nancy,” I say and turn to the door with a small wave.

She returns my wave and winks. “Sure, girl. See ya later.”

As soon as I get home, I research the place where Sophie might be but don’t come up with any information. It’s so frustrating because I feel that I’m so close to finding her.

The next morning, I go in search of someone who I know can help me. Devon Chase. Devon is our school’s tech genius. He can do just about anything with his trusty computer, which is as cool as it is scary. Don’t get me wrong, Devon has always been nice to me. He doesn’t even question me when I ask him to run a search.

Smiling, he turns to his computer and immediately finds Sophie’s address. Not willing to wait until the end of class, I skip third-period class and call Sophie’s number. Unfortunately, her mother is the one who answers. She tells me that she’s at some State Park up north, but the reception is so poor, and she hasn’t spoken to her since the day before. I don’t know what else to do after that. Plus, if she’s at some State Park with the Earth club, she has to be safe. Right?

As the days pass, Kell and I continue to pretend that nothing happened between us. Tutoring is just as uncomfortable. As always, I meet him in the library. I’m working with him on a literature project today. He looks so good in his tight fitted shirt and jeans. His head is bent over his notebook, and his brow is creased in concentration. I have to say, he’s definitely taking tutoring seriously. For some reason, I didn’t think he would.

Unaware of my attentive gaze, he highlights a couple of lines and continues to work. It’s the most infuriating thing in the world. It really pisses me off that he’s unaffected by what happened between us.

Which is why I almost fall off my chair when he asks, “How have you been feeling lately?”

My chest aches at his concerned words, but I keep my stiff façade. “I’m fine.”

He gazes into my eyes for a moment as if gauging my response, then drops the highlighter onto the book and sifts his fingers through his hair in frustration. “You haven’t been cold?”

I raise an eyebrow and give him a discerning look. I just don’t understand why he cares. I mean, he made it obvious that I’m not important to him. It puzzles me that he shows any concern for me instead of hurting me and then acting like I matter. Bing my lip, I keep my eyes on the paper in front of me and answer with an unconcerned tone. “I was a little, but I just took a hot bath. It’s not as bad as the other day.” His hand settles over mine, making me gasp with shock.

My body heats up, and my heartbeat quickens. Jaw tight, I look at our joined hands then back at him.

His smile is almost sweet, “How about your visions? Have you had any more?”

I absentmindedly caress his hand as I answer, “I’ve been doing a bit of research, and I think I know who Sophie is. Apparently, she’s in the middle of some forest planting trees or something for Earth club. I asked her mom if she has spoken to her. But she told me that she hasn’t been able to talk to her because the reception has been spotty. I don’t know what else to do.” I say, disheartened.

Kell gazes down at our entwined hands with a frown. “Maybe I can help you. I have a friend who works in law enforcement. I’m sure he can find out where she is.”

A kernel of hope kindles inside me. “Can you do that?” I ask nervously.

He nods his head. “Yeah, I’ll call him when I get home.”

I shift in my chair and gaze into his eyes with a grateful smile. “Thanks, Kell.”

He merely shrugs, and to my consternation, whispers. “Anything for you, beauty queen.”

His words confuse me, but I let them go. He made it abundantly clear how he feels about me, so there’s really no point in dwelling on it. I just assume that he’s trying to make amends.

That night, I’m riddled with hauntingly strange dreams. Thankfully none of them are from my visions. This time my dreams are about my angel. It’s the same angel I’ve dreamt of before. The one with the tattoos. His eyes are glowing, and his long, dark wings are spread around him. As it always happens in my dream, he pulls me into his arms and whispers sweet words into my ears. “My beauty. I love you, my Sodales.” Then he disappears.

My body feels so sensitive when I wake up. My heart aches, and I feel empty. I have to laugh when I consider that the angel reminds me of Kell. I guess my unrequited feelings are now being manifested in my dreams. If only it was real.