Chapter 38 Thirty Eight
KAZIEL
\[HOURS AGO\]
"Alpha, are you—" Aaron's voice trails off when he finds me in the dark, sitting on the floor at the edge of my bed, my knees pulled up. My chest rises and falls too quickly, and the air feels like smoke in my lungs.
My hands won't stop shaking, and I can't for the life of me snap out of the haze. My vision is blurry, and I'm in pain. An agony that's not real. Phantom pain, that's what my therapist called it.
And I'm so fucking cold.
I'm back there in that basement. But I also know I'm not there.
For a second, I smell it. Damp concrete. Rust. The tang of blood that's not mine. The sound of chains dragging.
I squeeze my eyes shut, but it doesn't stop. It never stops.
Something warm rests over my shoulders. A blanket. Aaron is crouched in front of me, adjusting the blanket around me. I want to yell at him to get lost. That I'm not a child. I'm not...weak or pathetic.
But I can't speak.
I hate this. I hate this weakness consuming me.
Aaron's voice is low when he speaks. "You're having another episode."
I drag in a breath that feels like fire burning in my chest. "No."
He stares at me, unblinking. "You are."
"Leave."
"Not until I see you actually breathe."
The bastard is brave. Loyal, but brave in the way soldiers are before they die.
He waits, watching me fight for air. When I finally manage a full inhale, he exhales with me quietly.
My hands still won't stop trembling.
Aaron glances at them, then at me. "It's her, isn't it?"
My eyes snap to him.
He lifts a brow. "She saw them. Your scars."
I nearly double over under the weight of those words. "Don't."
He doesn't. But he doesn't back down either. "You care about her. That's not a weakness, Alpha."
"It is," I whisper, hating the way my voice cracks. "It's the worst kind."
He says nothing. He simply studies me.
I run a shaking hand over my face, my fingers digging into my temples. "She looked at me like she pitied me. But at the same time…she looked at me like I had terrified her.”
"She didn't."
"She did."
Aaron opens his mouth, but I shake my head. "You didn't see her eyes. You didn't hear her voice."
He sighs, shifting back on his heels. "And if she did? You think that changes what's between the both of you?"
"It already has."
I push myself off the floor, but my legs almost buckle. Aaron holds me to steady me. I let out a dry laugh.
"I am doomed, aren't I?" I croak. His features tighten with anguish.
"No, alpha. Don't say that."
I lower myself onto the bed, staring at my hands, my vision swimming out of focus.
"Do you know I almost murdered my therapist?" I ask, and he sucks in a sharp breath.
"What did she do?"
I nearly burst into laughter. The bastard is really starting to become more like me. Usually, he would first of all make sure I didn’t actually commit murder.
"She told me...the best thing I could ever do is...spare everyone else the burden of my existence."
He freezes. "Alpha..."
"Obsessive disorder, PTSD, the hollow curse, and an identity that naturally paints a target on my back. Tell me, Aaron. How many people are born that lucky?"
"You need Danika, whether you like it or not. She makes you happy. She distracts you too. Don't let your fears push her away. Even if you need time, explain it to her. Don't just give her the cold shoulder," Aaron replies.
I hate how he's actually right.
I reach for my phone, and he holds my wrist.
"Did you already call her?" He asks, and I lower my gaze, annoyed.
"Give her some space to cool off. You need to rest. Also, aren't you curious why she's suddenly interested in your scars? I'm sure she's seen them before, hasn't she?"
I freeze, realizing he's right.
"Someone is trying to turn her against you. We can't lose her, Alpha."
...
\[BACK TO THE PRESENT\]
I don't bother waiting. I grab the courageous bastard off my mate, twisting his neck with brutal force. He drops to the floor like a ragged doll. The sight of my mate hits me like a gunshot to the chest.
All I can think about is the fact that I should've gone to her before now. Damnit, I'd planned to go to her earlier this morning. But Aaron had insisted that we look through the footage from last night to check for the potential threat.
"Danika," I breathe, taking a step towards her. She moves backwards, and my stomach squeezes with hurt.
The smell of her blood is distracting me. But there's a much richer smell oozing from under her skirt. I know what it is. Fuck. She's on her period.
Gingerly, I take off my leather jacket.
"I won't hurt you," I say, and she twitches, her eyes still wet with tears.
Carefully, I take a step towards her. Then another. And another. While I'm still within a safe distance, I hold out my jacket. She snatches it with unsteady hands, tying it around her waist.
"How did you find me?" She croaks.
My gaze slides over to her phone, which is lying on the floor, dripping with water.
My dove seems to be having a terrible day. I want to hug her and make everything right. But I can't do that if she's still actively bleeding.
I'm just about to ask her what kind of pad she uses when a familiar figure strides in, freezing at the door. It's Cora. In her hand is a small bag.
She ignores me and hurries to Danika, handing it over to her and whispering in her ear.
"I've got you."
Then she winks and leaves. Three seconds later, she pokes her head back in and clears her throat.
"Uh...do you mind dragging that pervert out and giving her some privacy?" She asks in a coy voice. I try not to wince, grabbing the vampire off the floor. Once I'm out of the restroom, I heave a sigh of relief.
We were only apart for a few hours, why was I so fucking awkward?
“So, what are you going to do with him?”
I nearly jump out of my skin when Cora speaks from behind me. I didn’t realize she’d followed me to the back of the building, where I was tying up the pervert who had dared to hurt my mate.
“You don’t have to worry about that,” I tell her, and she frowns.
“He hurt Danika. I want him drained of his blood,” she hisses.
I smirk, turning to look at her.
“I’ve got something worse in store for him,” I say, straightening.
“How did you know she would need…”
“Pads?” She quips, and I nod.
“I smelled it. Then I traced the smell of her blood. So…tell me, Professor Kaziel, why was my best friend in that state? You did something to her, didn’t you?”
Her eyes grow cold and accusatory. She’s perfect for my mate. Truly.
Just then, Danika steps out, wrapping her arms around herself. She refuses to look me in the eyes, and that makes me feel even worse.
Quickly, I mentally communicate with Kira, directing her where to come grab our new plaything. Cora sighs.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” she says and walks away.
My gaze snags on the Hello Kitty bandaid on Danika’s arm, and my heart sinks at the thought that I might’ve arrived late and…
I blink hard.
“You look like you had a rough night,” Danika tells me, and I reach for her hand.
She lets me take it, her body tensing up.
“I wasn’t feeling well last night,” I tell her, and she flinches.
“Did you…have another episode because of me?”
She sounds so afraid and guilty, it makes me want to hold her.
Instead, I suck in a sharp breath. Bad move. I can still smell her blood. I turn away from her to calm myself down.
“It was different from the usual,” I say, finally turning to look at her.
She frowns. “I don’t understand.”
I rub the back of my neck, nervous.
“When you asked me about my…uh…scars… It triggered a trauma response.”
Her eyes bulge in their sockets. “Trauma as in…oh my god… I’m sorry… I didn’t realize—” Her voice cracks, guilt written all over her face.
“I was…ten years old,” I say, already feeling the stabbing pain creeping in. “I still can’t talk about it. I’m—I’m not ready, Dani.”
She draws closer to me, her eyes rimmed red with exhaustion.
“Then tell me, Kaziel. Are you…keeping me by your side for revenge?” She asks, and I blink, feeling like I’ve just been slapped across the face.
“What do you mean?” I say, confused.
“My father… He’s the one who hurt you so badly, isn’t he?”
The air rushes out of my lungs. What the—
There’s no way…
She’s his daughter?
What cruel joke is this?