CHAPTER SIXTEEN
"You ready to tell me about the nightmare that had you up most of the night?"
I wrap my arms around my raised legs and shake my head.
It's early. Not even five yet, and the thought of getting back into bed with Jeremy is not part of my future. I refuse to let it. Not again.
So, I'm in another one of his shirts while I sit in front of the TV, though I haven't bothered to turn it on. I thought it might wake Jeremy, but I should've known it wouldn't matter if I had the TV on or not. He always knows when I'm not sleeping beside him.
"It can't be that bad, can it?" Jeremy doesn't bother with the couch. He parks himself on the coffee table in front of me and lowers his head, so we're eye to eye.
He's been so nice to me in the two days since I gave him a blow job.
While I'd like to think it's because I was just that good, I know it's not that.
There's a softness in his eyes when he looks at me, and I know the reason Jeremy isn't out in Dawley hunting the shifter who stabbed me is that he doesn't want to leave me alone.
The day after he destroyed his cell phone, Jeremy had the concierge order him a new one and have it sent up to our room. That's how serious he is about staying with me, and it's making me realize I've let things go further than they should.
Everything is happening all at once.
Contracts for the Merrick land sale arrived for Jeremy to sign.
We're supposed to be going back to Hardin for the BBQ and everyone will be expecting to see a happily mated couple still in their honeymoon period.
I still haven't told Paulo I'm accepting the Paris job that I'm supposed to be getting on a flight late next week.
I'm getting more flashbacks, which means the worst of my nightmares about Owen aren't too far away.
And last night I had a dream I was pregnant.
My scent hasn't changed, so I know it hasn't happened yet, but experience has proven that the only contraceptive good enough to prevent a shifter pregnancy is to stop having sex.
I think back to Talis, who found out about her pregnancy at the worst possible time after she and Dayne had only been together for a couple of weeks. Which means it could happen just as suddenly to me.
"Savannah?"
I blink to refocus on Jeremy sitting on a glass coffee table in nothing but a pair of jeans, and his eyes creased with concern.
I swallow hard. "I'm leaving."
His face turns expressionless as he sits up. "To go?"
"Paris," I say. "For work."
"And this job? How long will you be gone?"
"Six months."
"But…"
Why is this so hard? And how does he always know when I'm holding something back?
"It's looking like it'll be longer."
Again, his expression doesn't change. "How much longer?"
"The forever kind of longer."
At this he blinks, then he nods as if this isn't news to him. "I'm guessing this is the plan you meant back in Hardin."
It takes me several seconds to understand what he means because Hardin seems like so long ago. A lifetime. When I do, I nod. "Yes. So, it's probably for the best that we put an end to things now."
Jeremy's eyebrow goes up. "Put an end to things?"
Okay, so maybe you could've phrased it a little better than that, Savannah.
But as it's the truth, I nod.
"I'm guessing this is the reason for you pulling away?"
I frown. "What do you-"
He leans closer. "You think I can't tell when someone's pulling away from me-when my mate is pulling away?"
"Look, I told you this wasn't what I wanted, and I still don't."
"I see."
"I mean, you're buying the Merrick land," I say, trying to sound positive. "And you have Jackson, whoever that is, and I'm sure before you know it, you'll be alpha of a pack in Dawley and any woman would be happy to mate with you."
"Any woman except you, that is?"
"Jeremy, please don't make this harder than it needs to be."
At my words, his expression darkens. "So, I'm supposed to just let my mate walk away from me, and do nothing, say nothing. Make it easy?"
My anger stirs. "You bit me, okay? You didn't ask me what I wanted or tell me you planned on doing it. You just did it. I'm sorry, but this is happening. I'm going to Paris."
"Then why didn't you tell me days ago, when you found out you got the job?"
I go still at his question. "What?"
"You got the news days ago when I gave you your phone. But you lied and said something about the BBQ in Hardin."
"You read my messages," I snarl.
I knew it.
Jeremy leans closer. "I didn't need to. I read you."
"What?"
"I know you, Savannah. I know your expressions. I know when you're trying to hide something from me. I know when you're lying to me. I didn't need to read your messages to know what was going on. And you think you're leaving? It's too late for that. Far too late."
At his words, I fall silent, because he's right. Jeremy has always known when I'm hiding things from him. I don't know how, but he has.
After a pause, I clear my throat. "Well, it doesn't change anything. I'm still leaving."
I move to stand, figuring there's no time like the present to start packing.
"No."
For a second, I stare at him in amazement. "I'm sorry, but what?"
"I said no," Jeremy says casually. "You're not leaving me. I refuse to let you."
"Unfortunately," I bite out, "that's not up to you. You can't stop me."
His eyes lighten and I know it's his wolf staring back at me. "You wanna bet on that?"
"You can't stop me, Jeremy."
"Yes. I. Can."
We stare at each other, and I realize something then. I should've run when I had the chance because something in Jeremy's eyes warns me that he never will.
Over time, regardless of what I want, he'll twist me into the thing he wants. The mate he wants. We'll move into the Merrick house, and he'll be alpha, and I'll be Luna of a pack I never wanted.
Before too long, I'll be pregnant and then leaving will truly be impossible, and as the days go by, and then months, my nightmares will return, and I'll find myself more trapped with him than I ever felt in Hardin.
Except I won't have Dayne there. I won't have anyone who understands even a hint of what I went through, and I will rebel against telling Jeremy.
Eventually, Jeremy's patience will snap and he'll force me to tell him everything, and I will. And then what'll start as resentment will turn to hate.
It will kill me.
Or one night the nightmares will.
There's one way to stop it. Only one. My heart clenches in pain, but I ignore it and force myself to speak the words.
"Jeremy Stone, I reject-"
Jeremy claps his hand over my mouth and takes me down onto the couch.
I struggle to push him off, to peel his hand off my mouth, but my strength, my anger, is nothing compared to the fury I see burning in his eyes.
"You fucking dare!" he snarls.
No matter how much I shove at him and push, nothing can move him. Somehow we end up on the floor, wrestling, fighting, snarling as I battle to get free as he keeps me pinned.
If Regan could see me now, she wouldn't recognize me. No one in Hardin would.
I've always fought to stay calm, to keep all my demons, all my rage buried so deep inside me that no one knows it's there.
This time I let it out.
I fight.
I get a hand free and lash out, opening up a cut on Jeremy's chest. He grabs my shirt and rips it from my body. I scream and try to twist free of his hold as my hair blinds me.
Jeremy hauls me up from the floor and presses me facedown on the couch while he's tucked behind me.
I kick back at him, but he shoves a muscled thigh against my leg, pins my wrists to the couch and leans over me. "You done?"
I fight to catch my breath but don't respond.
"Savannah," Jeremy snarls. "Have you got that out of your system?" He bites out.
I test the grip he has on me. And finding it absolute, I nod.
"Good. Now I'm going to undo my pants, tear your panties off you and slide inside you."
And just like that, I'm ready to come at his gruff words.
"I'm guessing you don't have a problem with that," he says, inhaling, his voice gone husky.
His grip around my wrists loosens a touch, and the second it does, I struggle.
Jeremy's hands tighten, so suddenly that I know he was just testing me.
"I fucking hate you," I snarl, tears filling my eyes. "I hate you," I whisper.
He kisses my throat. "Hate? No. You're not stupid, Savannah. Open your eyes."
"I do. I hate you."
"Stop me, then, Savannah. Stop me." And then he lets go, just lets go of my wrists and I start moving, as he leans away from me.
But then I hear his zip, and I stop. Anticipation races through me.
He's undoing his pants, just like he said, and then he's going to…
His hand closes around my panties, and I hold my breath as I wait.
Material tears and I gasp.
"Savannah, if you hated me, you'd be stopping me about now." Jeremy's weight returns, his body curving around mine as we kneel in front of the couch. His lips return to my throat, and his hands slide up my arms and to my hands. "So, stop me."
This time, his hands don't pin me. He links them with mine, and I grip him back as I rest my right cheek against the fabric couch.
"Stop me," he whispers against my skin, as I feel the press of his cock against my ass.
I shake my head, even as I'm leaning forward so the tip of him nudges me. "Jeremy, please."
"What?" He presses even more of him against me. "What do you want, Savannah?"
I close my eyes and push back against him. Jeremy edges away and I make a sound of frustration.
"Tell me. I need to hear you say it."
And I can tell that he does. I hear the strain in his voice, hear the harshness of his breath, as if he's barely holding himself together. I understand the feeling.
I'm so close to the edge. "You. I need you."
"You need your mate," he groans as his cock nudges me again.
I moan as he invades me one slow inch at a time, and once he's deep within me, he stops moving. We lie still, our breathing sounding overly loud in the quiet room.
"Are you ready for me, sweet?" Even as he's asking, Jeremy is easing his body away from mine, and I know what's coming.
I feel myself clenching tight around him because this is what I need, him like this. Fierce. Hungry. Desperate.
"Not like last time," I moan, as I shift restlessly. "I need-"
Jeremy doesn't wait for me to finish my sentence. He surges so deep that he touches the end of me and even then, it's not enough.
I shove back hard to meet him. "Yes, please I need-"
He hammers into me again, hard enough to silence me. "You never need to tell me how you need me," he snarls, as his body pounds into mine. "I will always know what my mate needs."
And then I lose the ability to speak as he gives me everything I need and more.
We fill the room with the sounds of flesh hitting flesh, low moans, and harsh groans.
Even though Jeremy's slowly but undeniably driving me toward a climax that has me seriously concerned that someone is going to hear my scream, that isn't enough to stop me begging for more.
I widen my stance and he slips a little deeper inside me. Jeremy swears so loudly in my ear that I know he's close, as close to climax as I am.
He slips one hand from mine and reaches between my legs.
One touch.
All it takes is one touch of my clit and I shove my face against the couch and scream so loud it isn't enough to silence me as I explode. My body undulates under a wave of pleasure so intense that I lose all awareness of everything except Jeremy's body driving into mine.
"Mate," he snarls in my ear, and then his hips slap against mine one last time before he growls as he jerks inside me. "Forever."