The wounds

The wounds
Ashlyn

Ashley has been laid to rest.

It was only our family, standing in front of her grave, frozen. My fingers were tightly clutching the small white envelope the nurse had handed me a few days ago. Ashley’s final letter. Her last words. Her confession before she took her own life.

It pains me.

Not because she didn’t apologize to me, but because she didn’t apologize to herself. Or to God. Not even at the end. I had hoped, in her final moments, she’d find it in herself to look up… to call out to Him. But no. What she left me with wasn’t peace. It was the same bitterness that had poisoned everything between us. Anger, resentment, jealousy.

When we brought her body to the morgue, the nurse approached me afterward, hesitant. Her hands trembled as she handed me the envelope, her eyes searching mine, uncertain if she was doing the right thing by giving it to me… or if she should’ve just buried it with her.

When we arrived home, something inside my chest tightened. Everything was still, too still. But inside my head? Chaos. Deafening. It was as if Ashley’s memories were screaming at me from every corner.

The moment I stepped out of the car, I called out to Rere and Ana.

“Please watch the kids for a while. I just... I need to rest a little,” I said softly, forcing a smile that didn’t quite reach my eyes. I could see the concern in theirs, but they simply nodded and obeyed.

Inside the house, no one asked a single question. No whispers. No questions. Just silence. A quiet that somehow felt like grief itself had settled in the walls.

“Are you going to be okay, Sweet?” Marco’s voice startled me gently. I didn’t realize he had already followed me inside. His tone was soft, laced with concern. He tried to smile, but I could see the storm in his eyes.

I paused for a second, swallowing the lump in my throat. My tears threatened to fall, but I forced them back, barely.

“Yes… I just need a moment to be alone,” I said, my voice almost a whisper, trying my best to sound strong even as I was already breaking inside.

He didn’t argue. He didn’t insist. Instead, he gave me a look. A small, understanding smile that spoke louder than words. I’m here if you need me. That’s what his eyes said.

For a moment, he looked like he wanted to hold me, to stop me, or maybe follow me upstairs… but he knew. He knew I needed this moment alone. So he let me go. No pressure. No words. Just quiet support.

I climbed the stairs slowly, each step heavier than the last. The house, once filled with laughter and life, now echoed with silence so thick it hurt. It wasn’t the kind of silence that comforted; it was the kind that reminded you of something… someone… was missing. Gone. Forever.

When I reached our bedroom, I walked straight to the bed and sat down. The tears came almost immediately, freely streaming down my cheeks. I didn’t try to stop them anymore.

The letter in my hand had become slightly crumpled, creased like my heart, worn and heavy. I took a deep breath… and opened it.

Sis,

I can’t accept what happened to me.

I envy you. I always have. It’s something I know I’ll never be free from. I don’t even remember when it started, but I’m sure it was when we were still kids. That’s when I stopped seeing you as my sister... stopped thinking of you as my twin.

You were always the star. Always the prettier one. Smarter. More loved. Me? I was always second best. Always your shadow.

And then I survived. But crippled. A life I couldn’t bear to live.

You pissed me off. Always acting so kind. Pretending you cared. Saying you were willing to bring me home once I was discharged from the hospital. What? Did you think I was pathetic? While you stayed perfect in everyone’s eyes?

I’m not like the people you fooled.

I hate that I can no longer walk…

I stopped reading.

My heart shattered at that last line. The pain in her words was a knife slicing through every fiber of my being. I shut my eyes, but the tears kept falling, hot and fast.

Ashley… my sister, my twin. I had loved her with everything I had. I never imagined the darkness she had been carrying for so long. And somehow, I missed all the signs.

Suddenly, images from our childhood flooded my mind. Those days when she’d hide from everyone when she got in trouble. But the moment I approached her, she’d smile, like nothing was wrong.

I didn’t realize… that was when the change between us began.

I wiped my tears and tried to continue reading.



If I can’t have the life I want… then I’d rather disappear from this world.

What hurts the most? You’ll probably be happy once I’m gone. You’ll finally have peace. You and Marco.

I regret falling in love with him.

If there’s a next life… I don’t want to be your twin again. I don’t want to have any kind of connection to you.

I told Adrian I was giving you the poison he gave me. Because I knew he’d never hand it over if he thought it was for me.

Stay away from him. That’s the price of my silence, my disappearance.

—Ashley

I broke.

Sobs wracked my chest as I gripped the letter with trembling hands. It wasn’t just what she said. It was the finality of it all. The bitterness. The hatred. The anguish she took to her grave.

I couldn’t understand where her hatred truly came from. But it was clear now that she had been drowning in pain for far longer than I realized. She let envy, anger, and self-loathing consume her. And she never… ever… reached out.

“Ashley…” I whispered through the tears. “If only you knew… if only you knew how much I loved you, even after everything.”

I cried harder, my chest aching with every breath. I let it all out, every ounce of guilt, grief, and helplessness. The pain of being the one left behind… the one who would carry the weight of her absence forever.

Then I felt Marco’s arms around me, wrapping me in a silent embrace from behind. I hadn’t even heard him enter. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t have to. His warmth, his presence. It was enough to remind me that I wasn’t completely alone.

But the ache in my soul?

That would never go away.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to go back in time and tell her she didn’t have to compete with me. That she was enough. That she mattered. That I would’ve fought for her if she had let me.

But it was too late.

And the wound she left in me…

It was one I would carry for the rest of my life.