Chapter 63: MEMORIES.

Though Ethan had changed over the past few months, some things about him never really changed. No matter how hard he tried to abstain from pleasure, Mara’s advances made his body betray him. Mara however was an old flame of his. She had loved him for so long and he had no idea of such situation, because why should he bother. He decided to sleep with her this once. This was his own way of making her accept that he wasn’t hers.

A few while of burning pleasure and entanglement, Mara rested her head on his chest smiling. “I miss those nights we had together, the way you could always satisfy me to the fullest.”

As she said this, Ethan gently pushed her head away and sat upright, one hand on his face almost like he was regretting his decision.

“Anything wrong?” Mara asked, but Ethan shook his head.

“Go back to your room,” he said.

“What?”

“I mean, you gotten what you wanted right? I have other things to think about right now.” Ethan said.

Mara slowly nodded, her bright eyes now dim. She came to a realization that Ethan had slept with her out of pity. She had been telling him how miserable her life had being and he had no other choice. It was undeniable now that Ethan didn’t feel exactly what she felt. Defeated, she came out of the bed and wore her clothes.

“Thank you for tonight though, I feel so much better,” she said, but Ethan gave no reply.

As she headed for the door, she turned back, eyes fixed on Ethan, “I don’t seem to get though, why forget? Your memories seem damaged,” she asked.

Ethan sighed, he shook his head wanting to divert the topic. Yes he had had issues with his memories that was a bothersome.

His chest tightened as Mara mentioned the state of his memories. It was a topic he desperately wished to avoid, but her probing had found its mark. He had been trying to keep his past locked away, to distance himself from the haunting memories that lurked just beneath the surface. Not only the ones he could recollect, but also those he could not. It made him wonder if there were memories like that of the night he killed Nathan that he could not remember. That alone was haunting him. The rogue immortal knew all these memories which troubled him. He had somehow used Mara’s voice when he possessed Amara outside the Farrow street’s club.

Mara, ever perceptive, sensed his discomfort and persisted. “Ethan, you can’t keep avoiding this. Something happened to you, something that took away your memories. I’ve seen the pain in your eyes when you look at me, as if you’re searching for something you’ve lost.”

Ethan’s jaw clenched, his frustration mounting. He had come here seeking information about the temple of flames, a brief respite from the complexities of his life, but now it seemed that Mara was determined to unravel the tangled threads of his past. Both the ones he could remember and the ones he could not.

“There are things I’d rather forget,” he replied tersely, his gaze fixed on a distant point in the room.

Mara, undeterred, took a step closer. “Ethan, you can’t keep running from your past. Whatever happened, whatever you’ve lost, it’s a part of who you are. And if you keep pushing it away, it will continue to haunt you.”

Ethan’s fingers curled into fists, his emotions churning beneath his stoic exterior. He had spent so long building walls around his heart, guarding the fragile remnants of his memories. To confront them now felt like tearing open old wounds. Who knows what else he would see if he planned on getting all his memories back.

“I don’t need your pity,” he snapped, his voice laced with bitterness. “I’ve managed just fine without those memories, and I don’t need anyone dredging up the past.”

Mara’s expression softened, and she took a step back, giving him the space he so clearly desired. “I’m not trying to pity you, Ethan. I care about you, and I want to help you heal. But I can’t do that if you keep shutting me out.”

Ethan’s shoulders sagged, and he ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He knew Mara was right, deep down. He couldn’t continue to hide from his past forever. But the thought of facing the memories, the pain and darkness that lurked within them, was almost unbearable. Mara knew nothing about what made his mind so messed up. He recalled her saying she could only feel and guess, so she thought he was hiding heart-piercing secrets.

“I just need time,” he whispered, his voice raw with vulnerability. “Time to figure things out on my own.”

Mara nodded, her eyes filled with understanding. “I’ll give you the time you need, Ethan. But remember, you’re not alone in this. When you’re ready to face your past, I’ll be here to support you.”

With that, she turned and left the room, leaving Ethan alone with his thoughts and the weight of his unresolved memories. As he lay back on the bed, he couldn’t help but wonder if confronting the past was the only way to truly find peace and reclaim the lost pieces of himself.

In the solitude of his room, Ethan lay in the dim light, grappling with the turmoil that raged within him. Memories, like specters, threatened to breach the walls he had painstakingly built around his past. He knew he couldn’t escape them forever, but the fear of what they might reveal kept him paralyzed.

His mind drifted back to the events that had led him to this point – the mysterious amnesia that had robbed him of his history, the enigmatic gem of Fate and Destiny that seemed to hold the key to his forgotten past, and the relentless pursuit of the rogue immortal who had cast this shadow over his life.

With a heavy sigh, he rose from the bed and approached the window, gazing out at the moonlit night. It was in moments like these that he felt the weight of his responsibilities as an alpha, as a protector of his pack, and as a seeker of the truth.

The next morning, as the sun began its ascent, the tranquil morning was graced by the sweet symphony of birdsong. Their melodies, a chorus of nature's finest musicians, filled the air with a vibrant tapestry of sound. Robins greeted the day with cheerful warbles, while warblers and finches wove intricate melodies high in the treetops. Doves added a soothing counterpoint, their coos whispering serenity. This avian ensemble painted the morning with vibrant colors, a reminder of the beauty in each new day and an invitation to embrace the wonders of the natural world.

Ethan could not help but admire this scenery. He didn’t understand before why these Immortals decided to move to such a remote location, but the scenery before him explained everything. The Immortals here were in pursuit of happiness and peace, and this was the perfect place.

Suddenly the soft knock on his door drew his attention away from the graceful morning sky. He turned to see Mara, the woman he had been with last night, standing in the doorway, holding a tray of early morning breakfast.

“Mind if I come in?” Mara asked, her voice gentle.

Ethan nodded, and Mara entered, closing the door behind her. They had a complicated history, marked by shared moments and untold secrets. The fact that she could feel his thoughts and guess almost what he was feeling made her see his vulnerable side just last night, but that didn’t seem to bother him.

Mara took a seat across from Ethan and studied him for a moment. “You’re troubled,” she observed, her eyes searching his, “did you sleep well after I left?”

Ethan ran a hand through his hair, frustration etched across his features. “It’s… it’s complicated, Mara. I don’t want to say or think about last night’s conversation anymore.”

Mara’s brow furrowed with concern. “But your past is a part of you, Ethan. It’s what makes you who you are.”

Ethan let out a humorless laugh. “Is it? What if there are things in my past that I’d rather forget? What if they’re better left buried?”

Mara reached out and gently took his hand. “You can’t keep running from it forever. Whatever happened to you, whatever you’ve lost, it’s a part of your story. And I want to be a part of your story too.”

Ethan’s gaze softened as he looked into Mara’s eyes. There was genuine care and concern in her words, and he couldn’t deny the connection they shared. Maybe it was because she was an old flame of his, but he didn’t get exactly why she was so concerned about him.

“I appreciate your concern,” he said, his voice softer now. “But it’s not something I can easily confront. So do not bother yourself with my own issues.”

Mara nodded, her fingers still intertwined with his, but Ethan gently pulled his hands away and sighed then he suddenly chuckled.

“I guess you will start to think, is this the strong alpha of the wolves? You now know how broken I’ve become. I would have told you everything, but you are better off here. No need to involve yourself just because of what we had.”

Hearing this, Mara bowed her head and nodded, because he was indeed right.

“Good,” Ethan said, “I will be leaving later today. Thank you for the hospitality.”