Chapter 35 Confused
She sighed as she received the red American roses from the delivery man that was sent at her pad. It was from Thyago and this was not the first time he send her flowers this week. He was sending either sweets, chocolate, or gifts together with her favorite flowers almost every day, and even in her office that starting to piss her off. Instead, he became more rabid in showering her gifts and flowers which starting to get annoying. Although she had told him to stop sending her anything, it seems like he never took it seriously because he never listened to her. After the kiss they shared at his reunion party, she had been avoiding him for a week now. In response, he had been calling her nonstop and sending her messages asking her to talk to him. She tried taking it for granted hoping he'll stop but he never did. He was even persistent to talk to her.
After heaving a deep sigh, she just placed the bouquet on top of the table and leave it there, and that's when she heard her phone ringing and found it was Thyago calling again. Staring at her phone with no intention of answering it, she closed her eyes and frustratedly lay in the bed.
Her phone kept ringing. He tried to call multiple times today but still, she didn't answer it. She don't wanna face him, she couldn't find the courage to talk to him. She was afraid to betray herself if she ever decided to face him. What happened was a mistake, the kiss shouldn't happen. She has a boyfriend and she doesn't want to spoil her relationship with Matt. Matt is a good person, she can't hurt him so as much as possible she will try to avoid Thyago for the sake of her relationship with Matt.
When the phone stop ringing, she then heard a ping on her phone. It was a message from Thyago:
Why are you avoiding me, Bea? I know you're being confused about what you feel. Let's talk, please. Give me a chance to explain and show you what I feel. I missed you so much and your avoidance killing me like hell.
She knew this is wrong but she felt like missing him too. She hates herself for feeling this way because she shouldn't be entertaining such feelings like these. She should've learned from the mistake of her past. This is so wrong! She doesn't wanna end up miserable again just like before.
After a moment, her phone starts ringing again and it's him again. That was the time she decided to turn off her phone. She grabbed her telephone and called in the office.
"Liz, I want you to cancel all my appointments. I won't go to the office for a couple of days or so. If someone called and ask where am I specially Thyago, tell them I am on a vacation okay?" She told her Assistant/Secretary. A decision came to her mind. She decided to have a vacation and think for a while.
"Got it. Can I ask what's the sudden decision without discussing it personally and urgently explaining over the phone?" Liz interrogated her.
"No, just do as I've said." She replied giving her an order.
"Okay, I got it." She heard Liz answered before she hang up the phone.
Her typical nosy Assistant/Secretary of her might be wondering about her sudden leave. Liz might be curious and confuse why she is refusing to communicate to Thyago when all long he was their biggest and important client. Liz doesn't have any idea about her past with Thyago and she doesn't have plans in telling her to avoid issues and interactions with her.
She had made up her mind. To avoid Thyago, she will go home to their ranch. Every time her mind is in jeopardy and doesn't know what to do, there is one person she always runs to and that was her father. She packed some things immediately and prepare to travel back to their ranch. She really needs time to think and have at least a rest day for at least two to three days or so.
After driving for more than five hours, she decided to stop by in a public market to buy some fresh meat and seafood that she'll cook for her father. She's planning to cook her father's favorite dish and he'll surely gonna make him happy about that. She reached home at about 4:30 PM and she surprised the old house for her sudden visit. Her father gave her a warm and tight embrace and so as Rosa. Rosa used to be their old maidservant since they moved to the ranch. She was kind, loving, patient and they trust her so much. She used to be her nanny and friend right after they moved to the said house and they treated her more like a family than a servant. She had been a long time working for them that's why she never had doubts about leaving her father and moving to the city knowing Rosa will be with him.
When she announced she'll cook for dinner, Rosa gladly helped her and prepared the ingredients that she will need. The old woman used to be her mentor in cooking and gladly shared and taught her knowledge in cooking. She must admit Rosa cooked the best food ever.
That night, they enjoyed dinner having all the food she prepared all together. Her Dad and Rosa complimented the food she cooked and that truly warmed her heart. She suddenly missed the two, most especially her Dad. Their bantering and how they play chess. She realized it's been months since the last time she travel back home and she suddenly missed this kind of feeling. She was glad to be home, her mind calmed somehow, and forgot the problem she was carrying for a moment. After dinner, they proceed to the patio and have tea, the usual thing they do after dinner.
"It's nice to have you here, Sunshine. You don't know how you made Rosa and so happy. Why you suddenly went home and never told us that you'll come home?" Her father asked. Thinking about her reasons why she came home out of a plan, it took her a moment before she thought of an alibi.
"I suddenly miss you so I decided to make a surprise visit." She replied making her voice cheerful to make it more convincing.
"Liar." Her Dad retorted in between chortles.
"It's true, Dad."
"I know when you're lying Sunshine. I know you from the tip of your toes 'til the root of your hair because you're my daughter. Now tell me, why did you suddenly come home?" Being aghast of what her father said, she stoop down her head for she somehow felt ashamed for lying. She was on the brink of thinking if she would tell her father her reasons or not.
"Where's Matt? Did he came home too?" Her father suddenly asked.
"He's out of the country doing some Agricultural business stuff." She replied.
The last time she could remember Matt spend time with her is when they watched a movie at her pad and she upset him for not agreeing to have sex with him. Until that then they were only communicating through texts and calls. That has been two weeks from now. He said he was very busy with the business and the last text she received from him is when he texted her that he'll travel out of the country for some agricultural business conference he have to attend. She never bother to tell Matt that she went back to town and thinking about it somehow made her guilty. Silence went through her as she was in deep thoughts. She was having qualms too if she would tell her father about her feelings to Matt. She don't know if he would understand and never judge her. All of a sudden, her father just stared at her thoughtfully and held her hand making her feel at ease.
"Is it about Matt? Did you argued or had a misunderstanding?" Her father asked worriedly.
"Dad, will you judge me if I told you I'm having doubts about my feelings to Matt?" She finally decided to tell her father emotionally.
"What? Of course not! You're my daughter and I will never do that!" Her father retorted. He went silent for a moment and stared at her before he asked her a question again.
"What's the matter? What made you doubt about your feelings for him?"
She decided to come home to have peace of mind, to think what's the best decision she has to make but it seems she wouldn't have a chance to escape in her father's interrogation now. She decided to confide her feelings as a tear automatically fall down her cheek.
"When Matt confessed his love for me, I got surprised and amazed. I asked myself what I did right to deserve somebody as good as him? He was a good man and he deserve to be love back so I accepted him. And now, I'm having doubts about my feelings for him. It was not him Dad, the problem is in me. I couldn't even identify if I love him as a boyfriend or I love him more like a brother- just like the way we used to be before." She explained.
"Oh boy, you're really are in trouble." Her father went silent for a long moment as if he was in deep thoughts.
"I'll tell you a story, Sunshine. When I was eighteen I met a girl named Caroline. She used to be the older sister of my best friend Ralph."Her after started.
"Ralph? Matt's father?" She asked.
"Yup heard me right, it was Matt's Aunt." Shocked with wide eyes open, she made no response hearing her father's revelation.
"She's two years older than me and she turns out to be my very first girlfriend and my first love. Our relationship lasted for a year and the reason why we broke up? Ralph found our kept relationship and that tends to break our friendship too. Her parents have a plan for her, they had set an arranged marriage for her to a rich businessman. We love each other then yes, but we're too young to fight for our love. I haven't finished college at that time so I don't have the guts to ask her to elope with me. I realized if I ask her to run with me, what would be the life we will lead? We were young and haven't finished college yet. We decided to end our relationship so she end up getting married to that rich guy. Until that then I never had a serious relationship except for Erlinda, your Mom of course." Her father then took out a deep breath and look into her eyes. It was the first time she heard him tailed her mother's name.
"Caroline used to be my first love and the only girl I loved but fate is fate. If it's bound to happen, it will be. Do you get my point, Sunshine? " Her forehead knotted on the last part he said.
Does it have a connection to what I was dealing with now? What does he mean?!!!
"My point is in reality, love is not enough. No matter how you want a person so bad, if it's not bound for you to have that person, you will never have him. In your case, if a person loves you more than you could ever know, treasure it before you realized you've lost a diamond because you're too busy searching for a stone. Sometimes, love can be learned in dew time, Sunshine but if it's meant to be, it will happen no matter what." Her father stated. She couldn't understand but a part of her wanted to oppose her father's belief.
In reality, love is not that enough. Sometimes, love can be learned in dew time.
Is her father right this time? Why is it so hard for her to accept it?
"Tell me, are you in love with somebody else?" That is the one question she never expected her father will ask her all of a sudden. Too bad he hit home this time...
"I-I d-don't know Dad, but I hate this feeling I have for him, and yet I like it too." She said more like talking to herself.
"Who is this boy?" Her father seriously interrogated her. She went silent and looked into her father's eyes.
"It was Thyago, Dad..." She uttered as her father got stunned. He unbelievably stared at her with his mouth opened in surprise. Her Dad knew him by name but never met him. He was her first heartbreak and her father knew all about what happened before. She never kept that a secret from him. And by the looks of his father's eyes and his expression, she was not sure if he was opposing or not...