I felt like shit and thier was nothing i could do to make myself feel better i spent the rest of the breaks we had that day on the back field and during lunch josh showed me where their was a gap in the fence. We slipped through and into a large farmers field, josh pulled out a joint and sparked it up. He passed it aorunf the group we were with and when it came to me i was hesitant to take it. Taking drugs was bad enough but doing so during school was an entirely different matter and i wasnt sure if i wanted to walk this path. That was when i noticed all of the group staring at me waiting to see what i would do, i took the smoke out of his hand as he offered it to me a second time. I smoked with them and then slipped back into the school field. As sson as the bell rang for the last 2 lessons of the day i was worried that the teachers would realise that i was under the influence of something.
This fear was unnecessary none of my teachers noticed at all, or if they did they didnt say anything. Luckily i didnt need to speak or really think for the last 2 lessons as my mind had gone numb. I was more fixated on how i was going to make this up to abbey and how i could make her feel better after ditching her and then abandoning her to do the last D&D session on her own with mick and the rest of the group. I decided that i would use the money i had earnt to go and buy her a present either chocolates or flowers i thought would be the best. I knew i could stop at a shop on the way home and get both these things. My plan was made and i was going to stick to it.
That was until josh showed up on the walk home and destroyed these plans with a couple of sentences.
“ we need to go to jordans he needs us to run a few bags to some of his customers. We will get an extra £30 for it and also 2g for ourselves”
The look on his face told me this wasnt up for dispute but rather a matter of fact that i would need to do this. It was at that moment i realised i was in jrdans pocket now. If he told me to jump i was expected to ask how high and not refuse. As we walked josh told me to take my tie and blazer off so i couldnt be associated with the school. He also explained that in future i should put a t-shirt on under my shirt so i could just go round in t-shirt and black trousers. This way no one would know i was a student. I continued to walk with him until we reached jordans flats. I knew i would get a call from my mum as normally i headed straight home after school so for me to do this was very out of character.
We got into the flats and as normal the door was open and we made our way into jordans front room. He was sat watching cartoons as we said our hellos he just waved and pointed to the bags we needed to run for him. He looked at josh and asked.
“ you know where your going ?”
Josh nodded as he picked up the bags and handed 4 of them to me. I wasnt sure why he had done this but as we walked toward our destination he explained.
“Always make sure you have as little as possible on you that way if you get stopped and searched by the feds they cant do you for dealing only possession”
My heart stopped at the mention of police but i was soon reassured that we wouldnt really run into any of them. Plus i had played around and through several estates in the area and i knew that i wouldnt come across any police. The only time they ever bothered with our estates and surrounding areas was when their was a problem or someone was causing trouble. As we walked through to a small alley way that linked jordans estate to mine their was a group of teeneagers obviously who we were selling to waiting at the end. I was a little intimidated but josh spoke to them with a casual tone to his voice and this put me more at ease. He held out his hand and was given about £80 in cash, he looked at me and gestured for me to hand over the bags i had as he handed over his aswell.
The exchange took less then 3 minutes in total and as soon as it was done my phone went off. I took it out of y pocket and saw it was my mum calling. I answered hesitantly unsure if she would be annoyed with me or if she was concerned as to where i was.
“ hey sweetie i was just calling to check your ok as you didnt get home at the normal time”
“ yes mum im fine sorry i m hanging out with some new friends i made i forgot to text and let you know i was safe sorry”
Josh giggled slightly as i finished my call. I looked over at him and explained the situation, he seemed to understand and let it slide. We made our way to jordans flat to take him the cash, he again counted out £25 and handed it to us in £5 notes i took £10 and josh took £15. We were also handed 2 bags of smoke for us to have for ourselves. As soon as we left the flats i took one of the bags and headed towards my house. I got back about 2 hours after school had finished and tea was on the table ready for me. My mum looked less annoyed and worried than i had expected and she again just sat in silence while we all ate.
After tea i asked my mum if i would be allowed to go out and hang out with friends. I had not made plans with anyone including josh but i thought this would be a good excuse to get out the house and have a smoke. I also needed to get myself some supplies so i could roll on my own without having to pinch bits off other people in our group. I made my way to the shop and waited. I tried to find someone i thought would be willing to buy me some rolling papers and some tobacco. I was lucky enough to find an adult who was willing to go in and buy the stuff for me and all he wanted in return was the change and a cigarette.