Chapter 19

Carolyn

I'm actually giddy with excitement, like some school girl, when I leave Cody's after dinner. He's not pressuring me and I appreciate that. He leaves me with a soft kiss on my lips and a hug that feels like it can take away all of my pain. I need to go talk to Ashlynn.

I make my way to her loft, it's close to 9 p.m. and she has work tomorrow, so I know she's probably still up but winding down for the night. I really want to talk to her about the full moon run. I was worried about it before, but I don't think I am now. I want to see how she is feeling about everything. My daughter is my life, and her happiness is mine. I don't want her to think things are weird because I'm spending time with Cody.

I knock on her door and she swings it open a few seconds later. She's standing there in her P.J.'s but the t.v. is on so I know I'm not bothering her. "Hi Mom, come in." She steps back and lets me in. "You look happy, what's up?" she says as she walks towards the kitchen. I don't really know how to broach this subject so I decide I'm just going to come right out and say it. We have no secrets and I've always shared with her so easily. This seems some how different. I don't want her to think I am replacing her father, but then I remind myself, she had no love for him anyway. I can't blame her, she hadn't seen him as a loving father since she was a young child and probably all of his bad erased anything she may have remembered from her young childhood. She's been taking care of my wounds since she was eight years old. That's a lot for a child. I hid it as best I could for the first year, but I knew, that she knew better. My daughter has always been intelligent and wise beyond her years. "Have a seat Mom, you want wine?" she asks. I nod my head in affirmative and take a deep breath.

As Ashlynn sets a glass of wine in front of me and pours her own, we make our way to the couch. "I actually wanted to talk to you about a couple of things, personal things," I tell her. She raises one eyebrow in encouragement, waiting for me to continue.

"So I ummm, I just had dinner with Cody. He asked me to go on the full moon run with him. You know I haven't joined a pack run in many many years, so I'm nervous." I look at her and she just nods her head in understanding. "I really like him Ashlynn. He's so kind and so patient. I think he's a very good man. He wants our wolves to meet, and I think I do to."

Ashlynn reaches over and places her hand on my leg. "I think that's wonderful Mom. He really is a good guy. If you feel like this is what you want, then I say go for it."

I can't help but smile at my daughter, always wanting my happiness. "It's just I don't want you to think he's replacing your father. It hasn't been long since his death."

Ashlynn lets out a bitter laugh. "You can't really be worried about that Mom. He was not worth the years you gave him. I haven't considered him a father for over a decade. The man was ruthless and he hurt you at every turn. I actually would like to see you replace him with something or someone better, you deserve to be happy," she's looking at me with a softness on her face, and I know my daughter is sincere.

"Thank you Ashlynn, thank you for being the best daughter I could have ever asked for," I give her a smile. "Now let's talk about you! What about Dawson?" I give her a knowing smile and to her credit, my daughter blushes.

"Well," she begins. And we settle in for some late night girl chat. It's wonderful when your daughter is also your best friend. For the first time in a long time, my heart feels full and content.

***

Ashlynn

It was the day before the full moon. It was also the day that my mother and I were going to pledge to the Lone Wolf Pack. Mom had called Uncle Tobias, so he would know not to be concerned when he felt our tether to him break. I was a bundle of nerves. What did this entail? I'd always been with my pack in California, so I didn't know how this worked. I was full of nervous energy but didn't even know why. This is what I wanted, right? Of course it was. I was never going back. Well, except maybe to visit.

I made my way over to the main house, where I was meeting my Mom and Uncle Gabe. They were waiting for me on the porch with Cody, a strange looking box in his hands. "Hey, there she is," Uncle Gabe said smiling. "We are going to make our way to the pack house." The pack house? What pack house? I didn't know they even had one.

"Ummm, you have a pack house," I asked, completely in shock.

"Of course we do. Every pack has a pack house Ash," my Uncle had his eyebrow raised at me, as if to say I was clueless, which I was. "I guess I should tell you a little more about the pack. I don't give away all my secrets till you pledge. I am actually surprised though that no one mentioned it to you. Come," he motioned for us to follow him. He rounded the back of the main house, where I had never been before. There was a clear path that led into the woods. "This is the walkway to the pack house,"he said, leading us down the path.. "Most of the unmated pack members live there, along with some of the staff. We also hold our meetings there and sometimes functions. It's actually pretty well hidden from view, but it's literally a fifteen minute walk from the pack doctor on the other side of the mountain. When we drive to town, it takes longer because of how the roads are laid out, but it really is only about a half hour to get to town if you go this way." He continued explaining as we walked through the woods. I honestly didn't even know this was here. There was fence near where we always went to run. It was concrete block and was easily eight feet high. I always figured that was the border of the pack land. Seems that was just to enclose the ranch. We walked on for the fifteen minute walk, my Uncle filling us in on pack life here. As we rounded a corner and walked out of the woods into the clearing, there stood one of the largest pack houses I'd ever seen. To be fair, this was only the third one I'd seen. Regardless, it was huge. It was six stories, and had white columns at the top of the steps to the front double doors. It sported a wrap around porch that was scattered with white adirondack chairs. As my gaze went over the house, I saw that on the side, there were balconies and french doors that led to them. Who wouldn't want to live here? It was breathtaking.

"Ok, so we hold the ceremony out behind the pack house. This gives us enough space so that anyone from the pack who wants to attend, can. I've sent out a message earlier in the week to let them know that we have two new pack members joining today. I didn't go into details, so they must be curious." My Uncle was now striding up the steps to the front door, his hand on the door handle as he turned to look as us. My mother and I were both still standing there staring at the place, probably with our jaws on the ground. "Well you coming?" my Uncle's voice jolted us to attention, and we ran up the steps to follow him inside.

The inside of the pack house did not disappoint. The entry way was an open foyer and then you stepped into a vast living space. It was warm and had couches with large pillows thrown about. There were a few people sitting in the room, some seemed to be studying together and a couple were lounging, watching television with the volume low. As soon as they felt us break the threshold, they all stood and turned to Alpha Gabe and barred their necks to him in submission. "Good morning pack, we will be doing the ceremony out back as usual, if you want to join. If not, carry on with what you were doing," my Uncle addressed them and then quickly walked on. We passed a set of double doors to the left of the living space that were open. I peaked in and saw that it was a huge dining room. It looked as if it had the potential to be very elegant with just a few touches, but at the moment, there were a couple people in there eating breakfast and talking. Uncle Gabe did the same in that room, then walked us further down the hall. He took us to a door that led outside, and we followed closely.

Stepping out of the door, we were basically on a stage or platform. It was a porch but not really, there was no banister, and there were steps off to the side that lead down to the grass. It was clear that this must be where he held meetings and special events. In the center was a small round marble table. Cody walked over to the table and placed the box on it, that he had been carrying. He opened the lid and displayed what was inside. Nestled in the box was a beautiful knife. The silver of the blade was glinting in the sun. The handle was carved with a wolf howling at the moon. There was a red ruby near the top of the hilt. It seemed to sparkle and call to you to look at it. It was honestly hard to take my eyes off of it. My Uncle turned to my mother and I, giving us instruction of what was to take place. Then we waited for the pack members to arrive.