Chapter 18

Cody

Carolyn and I have been spending a lot of time together lately. She's starting to open up to me about what happened in her old pack. She's shy and reserved, but the sweetest woman I've ever met. It's been twenty years since my mate was killed. I have never once had any desire to be with another. My heart was shattered and it almost killed me when her life was taken. We never got to have pups, we never got to build our life. It seems that Carolyn has had her own kind of trauma as well. I'm hoping we can be each others saviors, the one who teaches us to love again.

It's a few days before the full moon, and I've decided to ask Carolyn over for dinner. I'm wondering if she will run with me in the pack run. I've not seen her wolf yet, she prefers to run in the woods alone or with her daughter. She's fearful of others, especially males. After what Ashlynn told me, I can understand why. My wolf is anxious to meet hers, he has been restless and yammering in my head for days. It seems like as good a day as any to ask her. It's not like I'm asking her to marry me or something, it's just a bonding run. Something for our wolves to experience and know each other better.

I'm puttering around the kitchen, tossing a salad to go with the lasagna I've got in the oven. I've set the table, chilled the wine, almost everything is ready. I don't want to appear to over the top, but this woman is special. She deserves to feel special. I'd feel like a chump doing anything less. No one has made me feel like this in a very long time, and my heart is ready to love again. I hear a light knock on the door. I throw my kitchen towel on the counter and walk around my kitchen island to get the front door. I have a warm and cozy little ranch house, the benefits of being the Beta of this pack. It's perfect for me and for another to be comfortable, if I wanted someone else with me. It's got two spacious bedrooms on the second floor, each with it's own ensuite. The first floor is open floor plan, living room with a fireplace on one wall, kitchen and small dining area for my table. I have an office/den in the back and a half bathroom. It's just the right size, but over the years, it's felt like it's been missing something.

I open the door and there stands Carolyn. She's a petite brunette with searing blue eyes. Her features are delicate and beautiful. She has a small scar that I see on her left jaw, near her ear. I make a mental note to ask her about that one day, when she is more comfortable sharing with me. She stands there in a little maxi dress and sandals, a pie in her hands. "Welcome Carolyn, please come in." I open the door and let her in and watch as she looks around my modest but cozy home.

"Thank you Cody for having me, really it's so nice. I baked a pie. I hope you like apple." She smiles timidly while handing me the pie. I lean down and give her a little peck on her cheek and she blushes but doesn't attempt to step back. I feel like this is a good sign.

"Come on in, make yourself comfortable. I'm just waiting for the lasagna to finish. Shouldn't be but a few more minutes and then I can pull it out and we can let it sit for a few minutes before we enjoy dinner. Can I offer you some wine?" I walk towards the kitchen and she follows, settling herself into a chair at the counter.

"That would be great thank you." She's watching me intently when she thinks I'm not looking at her, but I watch her every move, every smile, every look, from the corner of my eye. She drops her eyes whenever I try to make eye contact. I wonder if that's a defense mechanism, because she-wolves are not taught to be submissive to any one except their Alpha. She is an Alpha, so I find this concerning. It has to be because she was abused for so long. I mean to break that. She needs to know that she is safe with me.

I place a glass of wine next to her hand that is resting on the counter top. I place my hand over hers and she looks up. "Carolyn, I'm glad you're here. I need to ask you a favor though, you think you can do something for me?" I ask her, hoping she doesn't take this the wrong way.

"Sure," she nods. She glances down at my hand on hers and then back up to my face. I wish I knew what she was thinking.

"I'd like you to know that you have nothing to fear with me. I won't hurt you. You are safe with me. Don't be afraid. Can you try to relax with me, try not to fear me?" She seems stunned by my question at first, but then a smile slowly appears on her face and she looks me directly in the eyes. Thank you Moon Goddess, please don't let her fear me.

"I'd like to do that Cody. Really I would. It's hard you know, there are things you don't know. I'd like to share them with you. I don't think I am the least bit afraid of you actually. You've been so kind and patient with me. I'm just afraid of getting hurt I guess," she shrugs but at least she doesn't look away. I could look into her eyes forever, they are so beautiful. I want to take the sadness I see there, away from her.

The timer dings and I remove my hand and go to take our dinner out of the oven. It needs to cool for a bit, so I take our salads over to the table and the bottle of wine and invite her to join me at the table. We sit, talking for twenty minutes, mostly about how she is finding living at the ranch. Although she's not one who typically spends time around animals, other than helping her daughter feed her horses, she seems to love the ranch life. She has a million questions for me about cattle ranching and I'm excited to tell her all about this life I love so much.

Once it's time to serve the lasagna, we eat in relative quiet, a moan of delight coming from her every now and then. It makes me happy to hear that she loves my cooking. I've perfected it over the years, since I don't have a lot to do with myself other than the ranch. "This is amazing Cody, where did you learn to cook?" she asks me.

"Would you believe me if I told you I watch cooking shows in my spare time," I glance at her, hoping she doesn't think I'm a goof ball.

"What? You do? That's amazing. I love cooking shows. I hope I can cook for you soon to," She says as she smiles up at me from across the table. This woman is made for me, she must be a gift from the Goddess.

"I would love that Carolyn. You're welcome to use my kitchen anytime. I leave me door unlocked. But no pressure." She has a look of surprise and then nods in the affirmative.

"Ok, maybe I will surprise you soon." She gives me a little half smile and I couldn't be happier.

"Listen, I was wondering," I pause for a moment, nervous to ask. She just looks at me with big doe eyes waiting.

"The full moon pack run is in a couple of days. I was wondering if you'd run with me. My wolf is anxious to meet yours. You would be totally safe. I won't let anyone come near you, I promise." I give her my most hopeful of smiles and to my delight, she breaks out in a big grin.

"I'd love that Cody, thank you." Her happiness warms me to the core. What more do I need than this right here? Nothing.