Chapter 12: Running in Circles

Natasha's POV 

"Tell me, Natasha." I took a step back scared of Valerian coming close to me. 

Our eyes met. 

His eyes are as sharp as a dagger and it's enough to make me tremble in my spot.

"Why do you want to kill me so bad?" he asked.

His voice came out cold and bitter like as if he just got betrayed. 

Like as if I just betrayed him. . . 

I swallowed hard. 

I was already so scared but hearing the way he talks right now, I'm more than terrified. 

"D-don't come near me." I managed to voice out my thoughts with a shaking voice. 

But saying those words have no use. It was just like a cue for Valerian to come closer. 

"N-no," I stuttered as my palms touched his chest to stop him from coming closer. 

I know he's going to choke me again and I don't want that. I don't want to feel that anymore. Feeling helpless is the least of things I want right now. 

"P-please," I begged. 

I am so dumb. I know he's a powerful vampire and yet I let my stupidity get over me. 

I should've thought this through. I should've been careful with my actions. I should've been more cautious. Valerian is dangerous and of course, he wouldn't just die with just the poison I used. 

I mentally groaned. 

I tend to do stupid shit when I got so desperate and it's always been my weakness. 

"Why do you want to kill me?" Valerian spits the words like poison. 

I jerked up on my spot. 

"Why?!" 

His voice thundered in the middle of cold and dark hours. 

I know I should fight for myself-- fight against him. 

Stand up for me. 

That's what would my father want.

Shit. 

Yes, that's what I should do.

With my heart fastly beating in my chest, I gathered all my strength and pushed Valerian away from me with all my might. 

The sound of broken glass and things hitting the floor filled my ears as he landed on the top of the kitchen table. 

Our eyes met. 

I guess what I did caught him off guard to cause that much damage. 

I'm proud of myself. 

Valerian's lips rose and formed into a mischievous grin as he glared at me. 

"You just made a mistake." I heard him mutter under his breath. 

In just a blink of an eye, he was already in front of me gripping my neck. 

My mouth gaped. 

Fuck.

His speed. 

I will always lose with his speed. 

I am nothing compared to how fast he can be.

"Y-you don't play fair." I gritted my teeth.

Valerian looked at me, amused. "Oh, you want to play?"

"Is that what you want, Natasha?"

I coughed when I felt him squeeze my neck making it difficult for me to breathe.

"S-s-stop."

"Isn't this what you want?" He breathed in my ear. "To play."

My hands automatically held Valerian's hand that is holding my neck, gripping it as hard as I can hoping to inflict pain on him.

"L-let m-me go." Although it's hard to talk, I managed to, with gritted teeth.

Valerian seems like he didn't hear a thing making my blood boil in anger. 

He wouldn't hear my plea because: first, I angered him for trying to kill him, again. Second, he's a monster and he will not let me go just like that. 

I tried to calm myself down despite the tension that I feel in my heart right now. 

I should remember that I always lost to him when I let my nervousness get the best of me. And when I let him provoke me. It shouldn't happen again. 

'You should know better.' As my father would say.

I tightened my hands around Valerian's wrist. Using all my strength and with gritted teeth, I squeezed his wrist as hard as I can and twisted it. 

Realizing that Valerian is really strong and what I'm doing isn't enough-- I didn't hold back and kicked him in the stomach. 

I was gasping for air when he finally let go of me but I was relieved upon seeing Valerian a distance away from me. 

I roamed my eyes around the kitchen to find something that will help me defend myself and my gaze landed on the knife that fell on the floor. I didn't waste any second anymore and bent over to pick it up before Valerian could get to me and hurt me again. 

"Stop." 

I was taken aback.

Valerian's voice came out cold and low but I managed to hear it but I just can't believe what I just heard. 

Wait, did I hear it right?

He said 'stop' ?

I creased my forehead as I looked at him but I can't clearly see his face because it was dark in his direction.

I tilted my head as I squinted my eyes but I just can't really see him or his expression so I took a step forward. 

"Fuck." My heart hammered inside my chest when I realized that I made the wrong decision. 

Before Valerian could hold my neck completely, I quickly swished the knife in his direction but he was also quick to avoid it. 

"N-no."

I could just close my eyes when he used his speed again and positioned himself at my back while holding my neck. He also grabbed the knife off my hand with ease and now I'm defenseless. Again.

"You want to kill me so badly, huh?" He groaned in my ears. 

I gritted my teeth. "You're a bastard for fooling me into thinking we're mates." 

"But we are, Natasha," Valerian whispered in my ears. 

My blood rose in anger when I heard that his tone is like mocking me. 

"No, we're not. Stop trying to fool me."

I said every word with much conviction trying hard to make him believe me and for him to know that I will not let him play with me. Again.

"We are not mates so let me go," I added as I tried to move but to no avail. 

He's holding me tight and if I try to move more, I will just hurt myself because he would tighten his grip every time I attempt to get away from his grasp.

"Let me go. I'm leaving now." I gritted my teeth at him as I looked at him with so much despise in my eyes.

I gasped when all of a sudden Valerian pushed me to the wall causing me to feel excruciating pain when my back hit the hard wall. 

"W-what a-are you doing?" I stammered.

"You are not fucking leaving me!" Valerian's banged the wall beside me causing me to jerk up on my spot.

Hearing his cold angry voice sent shivers down my spine.

All of a sudden, he's like he transformed into a whole new person.

A really really dangerous one.

Valerian held my jaw tightly as he made me look at him.

"Isn't this what you want? We're mates because you bewitched me and now you will suffer the consequence for what you did," he said with gritted teeth.

I want to shout at him. To tell him- to make him understand that I did not do anything but seeing the look in his eyes, I know my words will just go to waste because he wouldn't listen.

It's like what he believes in is already tainted in his mind and no matter what I say or what I do, nothing will change.

"You just came up to me one day pretending that you want to kill me and then viola! I'm already mated to a fucking werewolf." Valerian tightened his grasp on my jaw making me winced in pain. "You can stop trying to kill me already, Natasha. Because you have it. You succeeded with your plan and we're already mates. Stop with all the acting."

I swallowed hard.

My plan is to end his life not to be his wife.

"I did not do anything," I told him for the nth time.

"Really, huh?" Valerian chuckled, voice full of amusement. "I always wonder how a werewolf became my mate. Doesn't it make you wonder too?"

I was right.

No matter what I say, he wouldn't believe me.

He believes that I came to him to trap him into us being mates and not actually kill him.

He is so wrong.

This is one of the rare times when I would wish he can read my mind so he will know the truth.

He will know that my father made me despise him and ordered me to murder him for I don't know what reason.

But now I'm just being accused of doing something making us mates.

Fuck this.

We already had this kind of conversation- him accusing me that I have something to do with the mates shit.

But I really don't. I know in myself.

Fuck. Why would I want to be with someone whom I grew to hate?

This is just absurd.

This is so fucking frustrating.

Valerian Fenrir is so frustrating.

He claims I did something for it to happen and I believe he did something too--poisoning my blood for us to be mates.

It's like we're just running in circles accusing each other.

"I still don't know why you did what you did but since we're already here, you know you can't leave, Natasha." Valerian loosened his grasp.

"As I've said, we're mates and it couldn't be changed anymore. I own you. You belong to me. And now, you will do everything I'm going to say." He softly caressed my cheeks making me shudder.