Chapter 11: Failed attempt

Natasha's POV

I woke up earlier today just like what I planned to do. 

I'm used to waking up in the wee hours so this is not a problem for me.

With extra caution, I went out of my room and went downstairs. 

From what I know, vampires don't sleep but I hope Valerian is in his room right now so I could freely do what I need to do.

The whole house is so quiet when I walked across the living room to the kitchen. It's so cold and peaceful but it's almost eerie. All the old paintings hanging on the wall are pretty but the view of it is adding to the spooky ambiance, but I'm more scared by the fact that I live with a vampire. A dangerous one. 

The moment I was inside the kitchen, I quickly started doing what I need to do. I opened the cupboards and grabbed everything I will need in cooking. Every pot, ingredients, and spice.

I carefully started cutting ingredients as I enjoy the peacefulness in Valerian's kitchen. 

Having to experience this kind of feeling after everything that happened is such a privilege. I've been through a lot the past few days and this is just a breath of fresh air. I didn't know cooking at this time, in the kitchen of my foe will give me so much peace that I just started craving for it even though I'm still literally at it at this moment. 

It's just that, this gives me so much serotonin and peace of mind. 

Moments like this are rare for me especially back in our town. If I was awake at this hour, it's because I have to train how to fight with my father. He'd wake me up so early in the morning to teach me how to be good at fighting- how to kill Valerian Fenrir. 

If I only know it will be a major fail, I shouldn't have wasted my time. But yeah, it's not like I could just easily disobey my father. 

But also, thinking about all the training and hard work I poured into learning how to fight-- I wasted so much time in doing all of it. I didn't even get to use them to fight Valerian because he's far way good at fighting compared to me-- I'll give him that. He's way too powerful too.

Well, he lived half a century than me. It's not a surprise anymore. 

I jerked up on my spot when I suddenly felt something behind me. 

I quickly turned to my back and found Valerian standing behind me while looking at me intently. 

I clung to my chest as I blew a deep breath. 

"Goodness, you scared me!" I furrowed my eyebrows at him. 

"It's still so early in the morning," he stated. 

"Yeah, I can't sleep," I lied as I shrugged my shoulders. 

"What are you doing?" he questioned. 

I raised the ladle that I'm holding to show him what I'm doing. 

"Cooking," I added in a matter-of-fact tone.

Amusement automatically crossed Valerian's face upon hearing what I said. 

I creased my forehead at his reaction. "What?"

He didn't answer. He just looked at me with amusement dancing in his eyes. 

My gaze suddenly landed on the thing that he was holding. 

I squinted my eyes to see what it is but it was just not clear. 

"What's that?" I asked. 

Valerian raised his hand to show me and I was completely taken aback when I saw a clear bottle with red liquid in it. 

"Good hunt," he muttered under his breath but enough for me to hear it. 

I swallowed hard. 

Was he outside. . . hunting?

Hunting a literal human?!

Is that what he does every night? Is that the reason why vampires don't sleep?

I took a deep sigh to calm myself down.

This is his nature-- their nature. Even though I don't agree with it because it's obviously inhumane and I couldn't stomach the thought of it-- I can't do anything about it. 

If I oppose him with the idea of hunting humans and making them his food, I might end up as one of those poor humans. 

Of course, I don't want that to happen so the only sane thing to do about it is to shut my mouth. 

Sometimes, although we don't want to, turning a blind eye is the only thing we can do. 

"Are you done cooking?" Valerian suddenly asked. 

I saw him set aside the bottle of fresh blood he was holding as he sat down on one of the high stools in front of me. 

I quickly averted my gaze before he caught me. 

"Not yet." I shook my head without looking at him. 

I don't think I can look at him at this moment. 

I know I said I can't do anything about it and I have to deal with it but I don't think I can. 

He's a monster and he disgusts me. 

My kind is also different from humans. Way too different. But, we don't do vicious things like they do. 

The idea of Valerian killing humans is not the only thing that disturbed me. It's the way that he says it. He talks about it like it was just a normal thing to do. Like those people that he's killing don't have families and that their lives don't matter. 

The sound of the spoon hitting the floor snapped me out of my reverie. 

"Are you alright?" I heard Valerian ask as I get down to pick up the spoon that I dropped because I got too caught up with my thoughts. 

That's it. 

I can't live with Valerian any longer and this foolishness has to end.

"Natasha." I heard him call my name and for some reason, it sent shivers down my spine. 

I swallowed hard and gathered all my courage before standing up. 

"Yeah, I'm okay. Sorry about that." I flashed a small smile. "You know, I can get so clumsy sometimes."

Valerian just watched me without saying anything. 

"And, I'm almost finished with this," I told him and went back to what I'm doing. 

"I'll be back," he said as he went down from the stool. 

Those words are like music to my ears. Thank goodness he's leaving because I feel like it's getting hard to breathe around him. 

"Alright." I nodded and smiled once again. 

He turned his back on me and went out of the kitchen and the moment that he was finally out of my sight-- I feel like a huge thorn was lifted from my chest. 

Gosh. 

I need to give myself a pat on the back because I still managed to fake a smile to him even though I already feel like throwing up. 

I really can't deal with Valerian anymore. I need to finish my mission here and go home and forget any of this happened.

I can still feel the uneasiness in me but I tried so hard to ignore it and bring back my focus to what I'm cooking. 

Gladly, I managed to prepare everything before Valerian was back.

I don't know where did he go or what he did but it's not like I care about it. 

I don't care anymore, really. 

I just want this-- whatever this is to be completely over.

"Hey, I'm done cooking," I announced with fake enthusiasm in my voice. 

"What did you cook?" he asked as he sat down on the high stool in front of me again. 

"Well." I placed the plate of my cooked food in front of him. 

"Just try it," I told him as I handed him a spoon. 

"It does smell good," he commented. 

I can't help but smile. "It sure does."

"But, isn't it too early for breakfast?" Valerian said as he looked over the window. 

I followed his gaze and he was right. The sun hasn't set up high yet and it's still so dark outside. Pitch black. It just signifies that it's still time for sleeping and not eating. 

Well, maybe I got a little too excited-- anxious that I finished cooking quickly. 

"Well, told you I can't sleep and cooking is my stress reliever and it would be such a shame that I prepared all this and you wouldn't eat it." I formed my lips into a small pout as I looked at him but I couldn't just do it so I looked at his forehead instead. 

I just can't with his eyes. 

Looking at Valerian's eyes is like a face to face with a devil and I can't do it. 

I continued pouting as I looked in Valerian's direction. 

It feels disgusting doing this thing-- pouting to get his empathy, but I'm amazed I have this talent. I didn't know it. 

Emotional manipulation is such a trick. 

"Is feeding me becoming your new hobby?" 

I let out a low chuckle at his words. "This is the second time I cooked for you so yeah maybe it could be my new hobby. I need to have one if I'm going to live here all my life."

I can't help but smile when I saw Valerian fill his spoon with the food I cooked. 

I watched him intently as he brought it to his mouth and eat it. 

Even the way he chew, I watched it attentively. 

My heart started beating faster with so much anticipation as I saw him swallow the food. 

Valerian fell silent for a couple of seconds before he spoke. 

"It's good," he commented. 

"Really?"

He nodded. 

"Don't you feel anything else?" I asked.

Valerian took another spoonful of the food. 

"It's really good," he commented once again after swallowing. 

I gulped. 

"What does it taste like?" I questioned. 

"It tasted like. . ." He trailed off as he caught my gaze before I could even avoid his'

"Why don't you try it to know what it tastes like, Natasha."

Shit shit shit. 

I cleared my throat. "I cooked that just for you."

"I know, but you were asking and the only way to know the answer is if you will taste it yourself." 

The corners of Valerian's lips rose into a mischievous smile.

He pushed the plate in my direction. "Go on."

My heart pounded inside my chest. 

I can't. . .

"Why do you suddenly seem scared, Natasha?"

Fuck. 

I'm completely out of words and I don't know what to do right now. 

Does this mean. . . he knows?

Valerian suddenly chuckled. "Of course, you're scared, what was I thinking. Poison doesn't have an effect on me but we both don't know if it will kill you."

Fuck. 

He knows!

I'm sure I was being careful.

How did he know?!

"The first time didn't work, Natasha you know that. Why did you think the second time will?"

I remained tongue-tied as his piercing eyes penetrated my soul.

"I won't get killed by belladonna, Natasha." Valerian clenched his jaw as he continued staring at me. 

"Use a stronger poison next time, darling."