Chapter 180

Lady Loveth’s POV

“Why did you bring him back?” His voice had dropped to a deadly calm.

What was he saying? Was he implying that I should have finished off the job?

“Bu… but… I thought,” I stuttered, unable to coordinate my thoughts long enough to form a reasonable sentence.

He caught me off guard, and now has thrown me off balance.

“What do you mean, Nyx?” I finally summoned the courage to speak.

He leaned back and his lips curved into a smirk.

“You meant to kill my son, right?” he tilted his head sideways, and I lowered my gaze, not wanting our eyes to meet, as I admitted to the shameful act.

I nodded slowly.

“Use your words, woman,” he scowled.

“Yes,” I muttered softly, almost inaudible.

“So what stopped you?” he raised his brows at me, “Why didn’t you go ahead with your act of wickedness, huh?”

I shut my eyes tightly as a single tear dropped down.

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“What do you suggest we do?” I asked slowly, after a few minutes of grave silence, even if deep down, a part of me knew what she was suggesting just fine.

“We need to kill that child,” she voiced out my thoughts.

“What?” I blurted out almost immediately, hearing her say it out loud, was so different and vulgar, it pricked my conscience. Kill a child?  This was something I considered a great sacrilege, something I had sworn not to partake of, and to punish anyone caught in the act.

I maintained that children were innocent and didn’t need to bear the brunt of their parents. So how could she suggest that I kill a babe?

“That child has done nothing wrong, Usurla,”  I shook my head slowly.

“Exactly,” she nodded, “Only that, his existence threatens the peace this kingdom has enjoyed for years now, and that needs to be fixed from its roots.”

“You’re crazy, Usurla,” I scoffed and stood up.

“You might say so, but deep down, you know I’m right,”

“I cannot be part of this attrocity,” I inhaled deeply and made for the door.

“I heard Lisa just gave birth,” she called after me, just as my hands hovered around the doorknob. “Congratulations on the latest addition to the family,” she paused and took a step towards me.

“From my calculations, Loveth, that child is going to live in Elio’s reign. What do you think will happen when war breaks out? We both know wars don’t end easily, lives are taken, loved ones are lost, properties are destroyed.”

She placed a hand on my shoulder, and I could feel her breath on my neck, “Is that the kind of life you want for your grandchild when you’re long gone? To live in the ruins of a war, or worse, lose his life to it?”

“This is a lesser evil, one life for a thousand lives that could be lost in the future, ponder on that,” she patted me gently, and walked away, her heels clicking on the tiles, vibrating throughout the room.

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I couldn’t stop myself from pacing about, as anxiety crawled its way through me. The very thought of what I had agreed to do made bile rise up my throat, but it’s what needed to be done, or so I was led to believe.

I felt knots tightening in the depths of my stomach, my chest felt constricted, and breathing became a chore.

My heart beat accelerated, and pounded so loudly against my chest, I felt the whole world could hear it. I took occasional gulps to wet my parched throat, as even my palm became sweaty.

The sky around me spun, and for a moment, I thought I would lose my balance and fall under the weight of my wobbly knees.

How did people do this occasionally and still go on with their normal life?

This was one nightmare that was going to haunt me till the end of time. I hadn’t even carried the deed out yet, but I was barely able to sleep; the dark patches around my eyes were more than enough proof for that.

My ears pricked at the sound of a twig snapping and leaves crunching under the weight of heavy boots.

The hour had come.

“Your lady,” the guard bowed slightly, with the carrier that held the sleeping prince strapped to his waist. I took in the guard's appearance and wondered just how it was Usurla was able to get people to do her bidding.

These people were all happy with their lives until she came around and changed the narrative.

“These, huh? Stop acting like you’re not one of them,” my Lycaon snarled in my head, and I lowered my gaze in shame.

She is a peacemaker, and was said to pick people of only pure heart and good courage. I could bet my soul she was regretting her choice now, after all these years.

“Here,’ he took off the straps and handed the baby carefully over to me. He had played his own part; it was now time for me to play mine.

I peered into the baby’s face, and damn, he looked so heavenly, so peaceful, with no care in the world. He was so relaxed in my arms, in the arms of his would-be murderer.

Goddess have mercy. I placed a kiss on his forehead as I approached the river. I couldn’t bear to slit his throat, so I was going to drown him instead.

“One, two, three…” I counted in my head, mentally bracing myself for what was to come next.

I made to fling him into the river, but at the last minute, I didn’t release my grip.

“I can’t,” I muttered, as I went on my knees, tears streaming down my cheeks, “I can’t do this,”

“That’s because it isn’t who you are, Loveth,” My Lycaon whispered softly in my head, and for some reason, her voice was a blissful relief.

It felt reassuring to know that I wasn’t i this alone.

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“I couldn’t, I just couldn’t,” I shook my head slowly, embracing the tears.