Chapter 54.-3

Eli had assured me Joe wouldn’t know anything. Joseph couldn’t see Eli do anything for some reason. I didn’t question why. I started to walk upstairs dragging my hand across the wall leaving a burning trail from my finger tips. I walked down the hall and stopped in front of Gabriel’s door. I put my hand on the door knob and faltered. A twinge of emotion hit me hard and I groaned. It was horrible. I felt the bit of anger at myself for what I’d done to Tristan and sadness for what I’d done to Mary. But I thankfully managed to keep them locked up. I knew what I had to do to Gabriel to hurt him. I hadn’t even finished hurting the rest of the family. When the twinge of emotion hit, I felt what I knew I would be feeling when I am going to hurt Gabriel. Heart breaking pain. I frowned briefly but let it disappear as my feeling and emotion did. I turned the doorknob and slowly opened the door. Gabriel’s back was to me as he stared out of the window. He didn’t even say anything or move as I shut the door and clicked the lock. “I don’t know what to do anymore,” Gabriel mumbled. His voice triggered a stream of emotion but I clenched my jaw to keep them from escaping. Stay strong, Lonny... "I'm losing faith in myself." His voice broke. "At least I know she's alive, right? When she contacted Cameron it reassured me a little." I walked around the room and glanced at the mirror. I hadn't seen myself at all since I'd been through this change. My hair had grown longer, silkier. My face looked exactly like the woman I'd seen in my memories. A strong fearless woman. My eyes were a bright grey and empty now. My body was no different. My Mark was no different. I ran a hand through my hair and turned back to walking around the room waiting for Gabriel to stop talking. "... Her decision is closing in fast and everyone knows. Angels and Demons are preparing themselves." I chose this time to speak. "Really?" Gabriel shot around like a bullet. His eyes were wide and his face had drained of all color. Just the sight of his face almost made me feel… almost made me re-think everything. I walked to the wall of photos and took a photo of my human self and Gabriel down. It was a picture of us as children. "I didn't know that." I said not looking at him. He didn't say a word as I stared down at the photograph. "The world is an interesting thing." I said. I could see him coming nearer but I said, "Don't step any closer, if you please." He stopped closer than I realize and I began to walk around. He tried coming forward but I used my new power I didn't realize I unlocked. I stopped his body from moving and stared at him as he tried moving his limbs. He stared down at his unmoving body and looked up at me with horrified eyes. I ignited the flame in my hand and watched the picture burn to ashes. They fell to the floor in small pieces and I watched as Gabriel's face turned from horrified to shock. "Alexis--" "Don't speak." I interrupted. I walked forward and grabbed his face in my hand. His cheeks were rough from stubble. The touch of his skin tried to awaken memories but I pushed them away. "Listen carefully, Gabriel." I let go of his cheeks and stood back as I took away my hold on him. "I don't love you." He stared at me like I'd just shot him in the heart. His face broke into a million pieces and I could hear his heart falter a beat. “W-what?” “I said, I don’t love you.” I spat. "If I could, I'd kill you. But I won't because I know this is probably enough to kill you." I chuckled humorlessly. Everything I said was empty and he knew it. His eyes were narrowed and he looked completely broken. "You're not the same woman I knew." I moved to the wall of photos and pressed both of my hands to the wall. The fire spread to the paper and caught fire quickly. I contained the flame easily and let the pieces of ash fall to the floor. "I am the same woman. Just... modified if that's the right word." He stared into my eyes for a moment and stepped forward. "I've never seen such an emotionless angel before." "That's because I am no angel." I said as I pushed past him. "You’re not saying this. You've been influenced." "That's where you are wrong! These are my words. Sure, during the week I’ve been missing; I’ve been influenced into doing things I’d never thought to ever do but the words coming out of my mouth are mine." I said as I sat on the bed. Memories crashed into me and I had to press my temples to remove them. Just from sitting on the damn bed. "See. This isn't you." Gabriel said obviously noticing. "Yes it is.” I snapped. "I don't take orders from anyone but Eli. But that will soon change little does he know. Want me to tell you what I've been through? Step one: I killed a demon but he was sentenced to death anyway. It was a peaceful death for him. Step two: Eli showed me that I have a stronger side. That red haze Joseph told me about. I loved it." Gabriel's jaw was clenched. "Step three: Combat. Simple as. Step four: my wings. They're growing nicely apparently. Almost done. And last of all Step five: which I'm doing now. Hurting all of your family." Gabriel's eyes were glassy. His chest rose and fell fast as he tried coming toward me. I didn't stop him. He pulled me up and rested his hands on either side of my cheeks. "You've pushed aside your emotion I can see it clear in your eyes. If this were the normal you, you couldn't do this." "I could, easily." I lied. It was so much easier to lie with no emotion. "Prove it." His voice betrayed him. "I don't have to prove myself to you." I hissed. His body was suddenly closer. His face mere inches from mine. My clenched hands started to shake with restraint. My head started to burn. The red haze flickered momentarily and I had to blink a few times. His hand slipped to bury itself in my hair and I could feel the flicker of emotion return. With that one flicker, a tear escaped. Gabriel just knew. He knew I was trying to hurt him, I could hear him going through everything in his mind. "Stop it." I said in a deathly tone. “Get off me.” "No." He mumbled his face growing closer. "I want my Alexis back." "She's not coming back." I snarled. His lips brushed mine. "She’s there." And with that, he pressed his lips down harder. I didn't respond. The feeling wasn't there but I could feel it trying to push its way out. I wouldn't allow it. I wouldn't. His hands moved through my hair and over my waist making it harder for me to hold it back. His tongue skimmed my lower lip and that was it. It was like the cage broke. I couldn't feel every emotion but it was just that one. Just love or lust. I slowly parted my lips and allowed him to kiss me deeper. I didn't move my hands in fear I wouldn't let go. His kiss was like drinking water after a week in the desert. His stubble chin rubbed against mine as he tried to get his point across. Our tongues locked and massaging one and other, our mouths moving in sync... I needed to get through this stage. I needed to stop this!! I fought with the emotion and finally pushed it away. I slid my hands up his chest and pushed him back. He broke the kiss and stared at me. I stared back with empty eyes. Then I remembered the time limit. Tristan and Mary would be awake soon. And they won't stop from telling Liz and Joseph. I had to finish this quickly and move on. "It's easier to hurt you without emotions. That way I won't feel a thing." I said. "You felt something there I'm not stupid." He whispered harshly.