Lauren? - Vicenzo called me trying to get my attention.
I ignored it for a while it was my pride talking, it was my frown, it was my way too acidic for some. The way I don't know if he could handle it in the long run, and I wouldn't be any less for that.
- Lauren? Look at me! - He called again, and only then did I look at him, the arrogant, haughty look I tried to keep at all costs.
- Speak Vicenzo...
- It's not possible that you won't talk to me for the rest of the trip! Are you really jealous? - he said smiling, and I avoided looking. He confused me and made me play a role I didn't want.
- I'm not jealous at all! I'm just trying to enjoy the view! - I lied, there was no view at all, we were facing a cloudy sky between clouds. And there was absolutely nothing I could see out the window. But if I faced him, I would also have to face my childish and unreasonable attitude.
- Okay then, you're not jealous. Then you can turn to me again, and we can talk about what's going to happen when we get there.
- Yes, we can talk about that. How will the party go? What should I expect? Weapons? Drugs? An orgy? Will Karen be there?
He looked at me now, putting aside his good mood at the same moment, fixed his eyes on me in a way that made me feel embarrassed about what I had just said.
- This is the second time you talk about it, orgy, bacchanal, and I told you what the first time? - Was he really serious? It was not possible!
- You said I was yours. Which was a pretty big mistake on your part.
- Oh you're not mine? - He still didn't smile, and now he put his hand on my thigh again.
- No, I'm not. Apparently everyone is Karen's Vicenzo. - Another childish speech. I blushed the moment I spoke. But I didn't look down, I kept looking at him.
- I had sex with Karen once or twice, and I didn't know I owed you an explanation for that! It would be nicer to say that it bothered her to see her rubbing up against me when I came in! But I told her I was accompanied! The problem is over!
- It didn't bother me at all Vicenzo! What the fuck!
- Are you sure not? - now she looked deeper into my eyes.
- No! And I don't know how you dare to say that I'm yours! It is not me! It's not because you gathered some facts of my life, which I admit sucks! That you know something about me for real! I don't give a shit if you fuck her or others! Look, I even spoke in the plural. Just because we've been together once or twice doesn't mean we're that intimate you don't owe me anything! Don't worry about that no! - I said being the usual, a damn liar! What if I had told the truth? What bothered me? That he took my breath away in a way no one else could? That I couldn't stand the thought of him doing what he did to me with someone else? But that was losing. So I once again embraced my pride, and he was apparently willing to embrace his! - It was just sex Vicenzo... I know you understand! - The words jumped out of my mouth, one worse than the other. I didn't know how I had the ability to be such a bitch as I was being.
- Okay, so you don't mind? And nothing we did meant anything to you? - I could have sworn I saw his look go sad, then revert back to its original haughty and dark shape
- Like I said, sex! Just sex! - One more lie, told by my hatred.
- Just sex... Okay! - Vicenzo stood up next to me, gave me an icy look of disapproval that I will never forget in my entire life. And while every part of my body wanted him not to leave me at all, my head was telling me to let him go. Why couldn't he get to me, he couldn't ever hurt me in any way! The only one who had the power to fuck up my life was myself. He didn't give that power to anyone.
When he finally looked away he walked to the armchair where Karen was, took her hand and didn't even have to say a word before dragging her to where the pillows were. And before reaching the curtains he looked at me again, victorious.
Damn son of a bitch!
I was so angry that I took a ragged breath, the plane suddenly got a little tighter, and I felt my heart break into a thousand pieces. I repeated to myself "don't feel that way Lauren Fuck!" "cool" "he doesn't have that power over you" but who was I lying to?
But wasn't I the one who said "just sex"?
I now had to deal with that line, and the consequences it would have on me.
Thirty minutes passed before he returned to the armchair, and the bastard insisted on sitting next to me. As before. But he didn't say a word to me! He just took his cell phone out of his pocket, and started scrolling through some conversations. I didn't expect an explanation, I didn't expect anything! I got up from the chair and walked towards the bathroom.
- Where are you going Lauren? - he said pulling my arm, in a sudden movement I got rid of him, and before the tears flowed down my face, hot and full of bitterness I turned again towards the bathroom. I could have answered, but the choked voice would give away my urge to cry compulsively.
And that's what I did when I entered the bathroom, I cried a lot even sitting on that tiny toilet. Without making so much as a sound, I feared he was outside enjoying my distress.
And when I left I was glorious again, and there was not even a hint of my emotional breakdown! I acted impassively as I sat down next to him again, and turned back to looking out the window.
- Lauren! - He called - I ....
I kept looking out the fucking window, ignoring him, and when I heard his voice and the tone of voice he used to call out to me I closed my eyes so I wouldn't cry again.
I thanked the heavens that he backed out.