Chapter 43: Let her go

Alan's POV

Her tears came faster now, her chest rising and falling unevenly.

"Hey…" I whispered, tightening my hold around her. "Enough."

She didn't stop crying, and my heart instantly made a choice.

"I have a story," I said softly. "Will you listen to it?"

She turned and blinked at me, lost and fragile.

I cupped her face gently and wiped her tears again. "Will you?"

After a moment, she nodded.

I leaned back against the rock, guiding her with me until her head rested against my shoulder. She held onto my T-shirt, moving closer.

I wrapped my arm around her without hesitation. Maybe this could be the last time.

"There was a boy," I began quietly. "Always smiling. Always happy."

Her breathing slowed, just slightly.

"He had everything… a father who was his best friend, a mother who was always there. A house full of laughter. Friends to play with. At seven… he thought life couldn’t get better."

I paused, my gaze drifting ahead, staring into a void.

"But life had other plans with him.

"One evening… his father met with an accident, and he never came back."

Her grip on my shirt tightened.

"His Mom had no income. No savings. She broke down completely."

"The boy was too young to understand everything, but old enough to feel it."

I exhaled slowly.

"Things changed. His friends changed. They started mocking him for not having toys, for not having a father."

"Gradually, they started isolating him."

Milie shifted slightly, listening meticulously. I could sense it.

"But the boy left them before they could leave him completely."

"He moved to a new place, surrounded by new people."

I smiled faintly. "He thought maybe this time, he'd belong somewhere."

"Maybe this time, he would love me for who I am."

I shook my head. "But it was worse. Kids let him in when they wanted… and pushed him out whenever they felt like it."

Her breathing had steadied now.

"So he stopped trying. He chose studies. Built a life. A good one."

I looked down at her.

"But you know what?"

"No matter how much he had… he never felt complete."

"Do you know why?"

She turned her face toward me slowly and shook her head.

"Because he never found what he was really looking for."

I brushed my fingers against her cheek. "A friend. A real one."

Her eyes softened. "So… did he ever find one?" she asked quietly.

I smiled faintly. "He did, a quiet later in his life.

"He found a girl. Someone he thought would stay. Someone who felt like… home."

My voice dropped.

"And she did. She became everything he had been searching for."

I paused. "But somewhere along the way… the boy fell in love with her. "

She stilled, her lips drooping slightly.

"He tried to stop it," I said honestly. "Tried every way he could."

My fingers tightened slightly around hers. "But the more he pulled back… the deeper he fell."

"Is that boy… you?" she asked softly.

"And the girl… me?"

I nodded with a warm smile. "Yes."

"But that’s not the point I wanna put," I said, holding her gaze.

"Tell me something—did I do anything wrong?"

She shook her head immediately.

"Did I trick you? Betray you?"

"No."

"Did you stop being my friend because of how I feel?"

She hesitated… then shook her head again.

"Then why is it different for Dax?"

For a while, she stared at me, letting my words sink in.

"His feelings didn't come from a bad place, Mils," I continued gently. "They came from the same place mine did."

I brushed a strand of hair away from her face. "For loving you too much. For keeping his one and only one friend his forever."

"Do you think he didn’t fight it?" I asked softly. "Do you think he wanted to hurt you?"

She shook her head, her eyes filling again.

"He knew the moment he said it, he could lose you forever."

I swallowed. "And hence… he kept it inside for years."

"Six years," she whispered.

"Six years?" I exhaled softly, shaking my head. "That's… a long time to carry something like that, Mils."

I cupped her face gently. "Some things… You can't control, Mils."

Her eyes didn't leave mine, letting my words sink in.

"The way you accepted me…" I paused, my voice dipping. "Even after knowing how I feel…"

I swallowed. "Try to understand Dax the same way."

The words felt wrong the moment they left my mouth. Like I was handing her away with my own hands.

She watched me for a long moment.

"I don't think I can talk to him right now," she said quietly.

"You don’t have to," I said, almost losing my own control. "Not today. Not tomorrow."

I forced a small smile. "But don't shut the door completely."

Silence stretched between us. My throat tightened as I looked at her.

Because somewhere between choosing what was right and wanting her for myself, I had already started losing.

And the worst part? I was the one letting it happen.

Hating the way I was sabotaging my own chance, something twisted inside me—anger, frustration, and helplessness.

I pushed myself up with a sharp exhale. "Mils… Sammy must be worried," I said, forcing my voice steady. "We should go."

I paused, breathing hard. "And this isn't safe."

She didn't move. Her eyes stayed on me, deep in thought, and there she said something that pained my heart even more.

"Alan…" her voice came softer this time, almost unsure.

"If we hadn’t gotten this close… maybe none of this would have happened."

It was not anger, not blame, but regret.

I let out a dry smile.

"Yeah… unfortunately," I said, pushing the words past the tightness in my throat.

The thought had crossed my mind, too. More than once. But never like this.

Not as regret, but as fear—fear of losing this before it even began.

But hearing it from her? It sounded like a mistake. Like something she wished she could undo.

"Come on, Mils," I said, turning away before she could read my face. Before I lost control over myself.