Chapter 35
“Pam,can I borrow your charger?Do you have it here?”
“Sure,it’s right here.My phone’s charged.”
I breathed a sigh of relief as I texted him back…
I can use Pamela’s.
It wasn’t until about ten minutes later when I got the next text.
Okay.Goodnight Aaron.If you need ANYTHING,please call me.I am here for you.I am so very sorry about your mom.
I stared at his words for a minute before I turned off the phone and climbed to the top of the bed.I set a pillow behind my back and Pamela lay next to me.I clicked from the news program on TV to one of our favorite shows.She snuggled up as I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and we quietly watched without talking.
When the program ended,I looked down to see Pamela silently crying.I didn’t know what to say,so I pulled her closer and hugged her tight.
“Do you think Mom can see us?”she whispered.
I wasn’t sure what I thought about that.While we had never really attended church regularly,I believed in a God—some sort of omnipotent being—but did that mean those who passed could still see this world?Deciding truth would be better than placating her,I answered,“I’m not sure what happens after we die.But I know one thing for sure.”
She looked up at me and wiped her tears.“What?”
I gave her a wobbly smile and brushed away a new tear from her cheek.“I know Mom loved us and she knew we loved her.No doubt about it.”
Pamela nodded before closing her eyes and snuggling in.Her breathing evened out pretty quickly as she fell asleep,but I didn’t want to let go yet.
Grandpa sat down on the edge of the bed.“Aaron,I need to talk to you about something.Not sure if Pamela should hear this yet.”
I nodded.“She’s asleep.”
He sighed,rubbing his face with the heels of his hands.He looked exhausted.Grandpa stared at the wall for a minute and I waited,my nerves on edge.Somehow I knew whatever he was going to say would be big.
“The prosecutor called and spoke with your grandma and me.They’re charging your father with murder.”
“They should.He killed her!”
Grandpa placed his hand on my knee.“Yes,son,he did.But he’s your father and I wanted to make sure you knew what was going on.They—the prosecutor and such—need to interview you and Pamela again.Now that charges are changing,the case is a little different.”
“Okay.When?”
“The day after the memorial service.”
Okay.The memorial service is in two days,so in three days.I can do that.
“They want to re-interview Jeff,too,so can you let him know?”
At the mention of his name,I felt like I’d been punched in the gut.Anger roiled up and I pressed my lips together.“Sure,”I told him,trying my best to sound fine with it.
Grandpa didn’t seem to notice anything wrong,thank goodness.I didn’t want to explain my anger.Hell,I couldn’texplain it.I didn’t completely understand why I was so upset with Jeff anymore.Seeds of doubt had begun to spring to life in my mind,wondering if I was misjudging him over his reaction at the party.He’d tried to tell me it wasn’t because he’d been ashamed of me,but it had something to do with Jon.Had he said something about being…jealous?Jealous of what?Had I heard him correctly?I doubt it.I’d been so blinded by rage and despair,I hadn’t be able to make sense of his words.Plus,he had been crying,so his voice had been weak,had sounded muffled,and I hadn’t let him get it all out.And that’s when I’d received the call about Mom.
Now,at the sound of renewed sobbing,I saw Grandma sitting in her bed,pressing a tissue to her face.Grandpa patted my leg and told me he loved me before going to comfort her.
I slid away from Pamela and pulled the covers over her.I was pretty sure she wouldn’t care about sleeping in her clothes—I would be doing the same.
Unfortunately,no matter how hard I tried,I couldn’t get to sleep.Memories of my mom flooded my thoughts as I tossed and turned all night.I finally gave up at three in the morning and slipped out of the room to go downstairs to the hotel lobby.
I found several tan,cushy sofas placed throughout the area,along with blue patterned throw pillows and a few floral armchairs in matching colors.Blue and tan striped rugs lay scattered across the tiled floor.Other than the older woman at the counter,the lobby stood empty.
I dropped down into the softness of a sofa facing the large floor-to-ceiling windows.I pulled my phone from my pocket and checked my messages.Not really too much.A few condolences from friends.Nothing new from Jeff.
I missed him.I needed him now,more than ever.My mind drifted back to the night of the party.Had it really been only a little over twenty-four hours ago?Time ran together for me.
Jeff had been crying and he’d apologized.I could understand and appreciate the apology,even if I wasn’t ready to forgive him.But that didn’t change the fact that I’d embarrassed him.He’d made that clear at the party.I even understood the tears because it was a sad situation.In a way,we were“breaking up.”We’d been so close for years,but his disgust at seeing me with Jon had been obvious.The only thing I couldn’t understand was why he’d said he was jealous of Jon.Was it because he thought Jon was going to replace him as my best friend?
Tears fell as I wished my mom were still here to talk it over with me.She always knew what to say.“I miss you,”I whispered into the empty room.“I’m so…alone.”