Chapter 30

“You’re cute as fuck,you know that,right?”

“Me?”I barked a laugh.“Right.”

He hooked his fingers in my belt loop,yanking me closer until I pressed against him.“Seriously,Aaron.I’ve been thinking about you ever since I first laid eyes on you at the pool.Can’t get you out of my head.”

Well.This was new.My heart thumped against my rib cage and I shook my head.“See,I just came out and I’m going through a lot of things…”

He cupped my chin,his thumb rubbing my lower lip.Pleasure zinged through me.

“Get your fucking hands off him!”Jeff stood a foot away,both hands clenched into fists.Anger practically rolled off him in waves.His eyes huge,he looked at me.“What the fuck is going on?”

Jon let go of me and I stepped back.“Nothing.Jon and I were just—”

“He was all over you!Right in front of everyone!”Jeff’s cheeks burned bright red and I couldn’t remember the last time I saw him so mad.

But now Iwas the one who was pissed.So what if others saw?Was he embarrassed to have a gay friend?So much for supporting me.“Fuck you!I can talk to anyone I want.”

A small crowd had gathered around us,while more partiers filtered out of the house to see what all the fuss was about.Teens loved drama,and I was giving them the show they wanted.But I was too angry to care.

“Are you embarrassed of me?Did you lie when you said you were fine with me being gay?That we were still friends?”My voice raised with each angry word I hurled at him.The color drained out of his face as he stood frozen to the ground.

Jon touched my arm.

I tore away my gaze from Jeff.“What?”I huffed at Jon.

“I was just wondering,do you guys want to move this inside so you could talk without all the…witnesses?”he asked,nodding toward the house.

I looked at the many faces surrounding me.No one looked pissed.Some seemed surprised,and others confused.Hell,a few even wore smiles,because,let’s face it,what teenager doesn’t like a good fight?Fuck.This really wasn’t how I’d wanted to come out,but it was too late.“No,I don’t have anything else to say.”I glanced at Jeff,still pale.“You should have been honest with me,”I said,my voice deflating,along with the rest of me.“If you couldn’t deal with me being gay,you should have told me.I’ll talk to my grandparents tomorrow and find another place to stay.”

Jeff shook his head.

Tears welling up caused my vision to blur.I turned to Jon.“Can you give me a lift or have you been drinking?”

Jon pulled his keys from his pocket.“I’ve only had soda.I’m fine to drive.”

Numb,I followed him to a little red Spark.Cute.Small for him,though.He hit the button to unlock it and I slid into the passenger seat.Seconds later,we pulled out of the drive and I never bothered looking back.

Jon finally broke the awkward silence a few minutes later.“Where do you want to go?”

I shrugged.“Does it matter?”

“Kind of.”He laughed.“I don’t have a ton of gas.”

I blanched.I had put Jon in a difficult position.“I’m sorry.I didn’t mean for you to have to drive me or even leave the party.”

Jon patted my thigh.I jerked away and he yanked back his hand.“You have it pretty bad.”

“Have what?”I scrunched up my face as I tried to figure out what he was talking about.

Jon sighed.“Seriously?I need to spell this out?”

I shrugged again.I didn’t have it in me to figure it out.My heart was broken.Shattered.Losing my best friend was ripping me to shreds.I had nothing in me at the moment.

“You’re in love with Jeff.”

I turned to look out the window,his words tumbling around in my head.“You’re wrong.”

“Tell me that to my face.”

Stubbornly,I refused to look his way,choosing instead to stare at the passing houses.Neat little rows of ranch homes with tidy yards and mid-size cars in the driveways.Most had lights on.I wondered if the people living in those neat homes were happy.Were they in love?Did they feel safe?I was so tired of feeling off-kilter.Scared all the time.

Now,the one person I had always believed in and trusted had betrayed me.He didn’t accept me.Not if I embarrassed him in public by flirting with another boy.I felt sick as tendrils of anxiety curled through me.

Jeff was more than just my best friend.He was my rock.My lifeline.Yes,I knew I had feelings for him,but I had kept those hidden,sure they would pass.I’m not really in love with him,am I?

“Do you want to go somewhere to talk?”

“Sure.”

My phone pinged,signaling a text.I pulled it out of my pocket.It was from Jeff.

Where are you?

I didn’t want to talk to him,so I turned the phone to silent and slipped it into my pocket.

“Jeff?”

“Yeah.”I didn’t offer any more information and Jon didn’t ask.I just stared out the window as he drove out of the suburbs and hit the highway.I wondered where we were going until I saw the sign for the park at the edge of town.It was a hang-out spot for teens,so I was pretty sure Jon and I wouldn’t be alone.Not that I didn’t trust him,but he had been coming on pretty strong at the party.

By the time we pulled into the parking lot,I was fighting rising anxiety.What the hell was I going to do now?

Jon parked,but left the car running.I glanced toward the swings at a group of teens goofing around.They looked drunk.Great.

“Wanna just stay here?”

I finally dragged my gaze toward Jon,while removing my seatbelt and turning in my seat.

He patted my shoulder.“What are you the most upset about?Coming out to everyone like that?Or fighting with Jeff?”

I thought about his questions.Surprisingly,I still wasn’t worried about anyone knowing.“I actually felt relief when I realized so many had found out tonight.Word will spread fast,I’m sure.”

Jon nodded.“That’s a definite.When I came out last year,I think my entire high school heard within ten minutes.The power of texting and Facebook.”

“Was it hard?”

“Yes and no.I lost a couple of really good friends.But I also found out who my truefriends were.My best friend,Garrett,was raised really religious.He’s had a hard time understanding,but he has never been anything but supportive.I know he struggles with the religious aspect of it,but I also know he will always be there for me,so we leave it alone.He’s got my back and I’ve got his.”

“Not like Jeff.I can’t believe him!”I swiped at the tears as they began to run down my cheeks.

“Hey,why are you being so hard on him?”