Chapter 141 Her Insecurities
Cara laid with her back on the bed, she felt awkward just laying there while Abigail searched her insides with a transducer.
The ultrasound gel was cold and enjoyed the feel of that on her stomach but now she need to pee from all the water Abigail had forced down her throat. "It is for the ultrasound!" She had insisted.
Cara wanted to wiggle her leg out of boredom but Abigail ordered her not to move. Not even by an inch.
"Your little nugget is doing just fine." There was a soft smile on her lips. "I can't wait for the day this baby comes out to the real world!"
"Well it's still months away so..." Cara responded, not sounding as excited as Abigail had expected her to be.
Abigail's brow went up in question. "What is with such a response? Are you not excited to be a mom?"
"Well I am excited to have a baby." Cara responded, her left leg finally wiggling.
"Not the same thing." Abigail proclaimed. She took off the transducer from Cara's stomach and wiped the gel off of her still invisible bump.
Cara let out a sigh. "I know... I know. It's just... What if I fail as a mother? What if I can't be there for him... Like my mum couldn't be there for me."
"Where did your mom go?" Abigail asked with an arched brow.
"She... Left us... A little too soon." Cara responded as she brought herself to a full sitting position.
"Oh..." Abigail reached out and touched her hand. "I am so sorry."
"No it's fine, it's just... You know situations like that, my dad got another woman in his life, she is amazing by the way and she loves us all, but it just can't be the same you know? No matter how hard she tries. I lost my mom for good without even getting to feel her that much. My brother, I have a brother by the way, got to spend extra time with my mum at least. Unlike me."
"Hey," Abigail squeezed her hands softly. "That is different, she had no choice but to leave you. And she didn't completely leave you, think back on everything you have done in your life, she was with you, she assisted you in taking important life decisions. She never truly left you, you are talking about her right now because you still remember her which means she is still here."
A soft smile warmed up Cara's face and she nodded her head in agreement with Abigail's words. She was right anyway, thinking back, she had managed to take hard and difficult life decisions.
Obviously, she did not do that by herself, not just that but also so many other things. They always said that the dead watched over the living, her mother was always watching over her.
"But what you are feeling right now, it's called insecurity. You are afraid. I know I am in no place to advice you because my life isn't as put together as yours but... If you let your fears feast on you like this, you will definitely fail as a mother.
"It won't come to you easily, being a mother is the hardest job on this earth. You have to be there, always, you have to be strong and sacrificing. You have to learn how to satisfy them without spoiling them. It's hard. But you'll get through it with enough efforts. And when you do, it's so lovely.
"You will always feel accomplished even if you have nothing," a soft smile played on Abigail's face. "At least that's how I felt. These exact same words were passed down to me by my mother and I should be passing them down to my daughter but--" she let out a soft laugh, chorused by Cara.
"But..." She never let go of Cara's hand for once. "You will feel so fulfilled when you hear your kid laugh or see a smile on his adorable little cute face. That's just how it is for me."
Cara would be lying if she said she did not feel a little more relaxed by having that conversation with her new friend. She smiled. "I am so glad that I met you."
Abigail's smile broadened. "Being friends with me isn't free, you have to pay a sum of one thousand dollars per hour."
Cara gave a roll of her eyes.
She was actually thankful that she and Jessica were no longer friends, she had finally gotten over the things Jessica did to her and she no longer regarded her as important any more.
Jessica who?
Her phone started ringing and she reached for it. "Oh please excuse me." Picking up her phone, she was surprised to see the name that written on the screen of her phone.
"Why do i even still have her number saved?" She muttered to herself.
"What's that?" Abigail asked her.
"Oh no, it's nothing. I just... I need to get this."
"Oh alright. I'll give you some privacy. I'm starving anyway, let me go and prepare some fruits." She said with a smile before getting to her feet and walking away.
Cara stared at the ringing phone until it stopped ringing. She sighed softly. The screen lit up once more and Jessica's name appeared once more on the screen.
She sighed again and answered the call. "What?"
"The fact that you ignored my call at first means you still have my number. I'm surprised." Jessica commented.
"Is that what you called to check?" Cara's brow shot up. "Is that how much free time you have on your hand now that you no longer have a job?"
Jessica cleared her throat. "No I just... I..." She sighed. "I want us to meet up. I have to talk to you about something very important."
"If it's about earlier, I don't really have any business with that so don't worry about it." Cara responded almost immediately, letting her disinterest show in her tone.
"Cara... Please. I just want to talk." Jessica sounded almost desperate.
Cara let out a soft sigh, why was Jessica always finding ways to make them meet up?