"Ahhhh, please don't kill me…. pleaseee….." I started yelling with my eyes closed and I can hear the intruder stop in his/her steps. I am going to die today for sure, One.. two... three…. I started counting for the attack but instead, I hear a feminine laugh precisely a familiar laugh.
I opened my eyes slowly to see Siya laughing holding her knees and she removed her hoddie cap and I can see it's siya who tricked me. I would have attacked her instead of being a scared cat.
" Stop it! Siya!"
" No…. i... I…. c. can't." She said between her laugh still laughing so hard.
" Ughhh, why don't you stop laughing and this is not funny siya. I would have died or I would have attacked you thinking you are a creep." I gritted out to still laughing siya.
"Oh my God stop it, please I can't handle it anymore." She said between her laughs like I am being a comedian.
" Siya! You need to stop laughing."
" you would have seen your face then you will also laugh kike me."
" why? Something is on my face!" I asked wiping my face.
" No, you dummy! Your face looked so funny when you were scared."
" Huh! You are making fun of me when I was scared to death? A best friend you are!" I scoffed before making my way to the elevator.
" Wait, Enya! I am sorry okay?" I heard her running after me but I will play her some more pretending iam angry.
" No, please you laugh some more." I mocked her knowing she will feel bad about it.
" I am sorry Enya, it's just you looked funny, please."
" whatever siya, nothing was funny."
" I am sorry Enya! For today and for that day I never meant to hurt you. It's just I was worried because you were not feeling okay, I am so sorry." She apologized sounding sorry and it make me feel bad for my actions.
I know what I did that day was not something I am proud of, I shouldn't have run from there. She was just being my friend who was concerned for me but what I did! Runaway and ghosted her? I am not being a good friend to her.
" Hey! No need to apologize Siya. You did nothing wrong and I am sorry that I behaved like that." I apologized too.
" it's okay babe, I understand if I would have been in your place I may have done the same thing."
" still, sorry for being a jerk to you, and to answer your question from that day, we didn't use protection but I know for a fact that I am not pregnant and I am sure of it," I said giving her a small smile masking my hurt from saying those words.
How would I tell her that I will never become a mother! I know I have to tell her that but I still donr know I am ready to share this with her.
" Enya? You know I will always be there for you whenever you need me right?" She asked rubbing my shoulder.
" Yes," I answered knowing she will be the first person who will be there with me no matter what. This makes me feel like shit for not telling her the entire truth. The truth of my divorce, the truth of me running away when she asked if I am pregnant.
Maybe I should tell her my reasons for not thinking I am pregnant. Yes, she is my friend whom I will trust with my life. I need to get it off my chest and feel relieved.
" Siya? I need to tell you something." I started.
" Stop! Let's go somewhere so we can sit and talk peacefully." She suggested making her way to the elevator.
"Yeah, will go to the same cafe we always go to," I said entering the elevator and pressing the button to the parking lot.
" So, did Andre tell you that I was still in the office?" I know it's Andre who informed siya that I will be alone in the office.
" Yes, he told me but scaring you is my plan so don't fire him." She said before se before laughing out loud imagining Andre's face.
We took my car to the cafe because Siya came in a taxi and I have to drop her at her place later. I parked in front of the cafe and we both entered the cafe and took our regular table which is far away from other tables.
" so, what do you want to drink?" Siya asked me.
" Umm, Iced Americano and you?"
" Same for me please." We order our drinks and it's time for me to tell her the secret which I am hiding from her. I dont know how will she react to it but I have to share it with someone to feel less burdened. Maybe I am being selfish feeling like this but I have been holding this in me for so long. It's time to share with someone who will truly understand me.
" Siya! I am sorry for my behavior and I hope after listening to what I will say you will understand why I ran away." Tears started pooling in my eyes but no, I have to be strong.
" Hey! Don't Enya and you donr need to Explain yourself if you donr want to."
" I know and Thanks for being my friend and understanding but I have to tell you so I can be at peace for some time."
" I can see it's hard for you to share something with me but dont worry I am not going to judge you and know that no matter what I will always be with you." She said holding my hand.
" I never told you the actual reason which I got a divorce right?"
" Right?"
" The reason Justin left me is that I will never be a mother," I uttered these words with so much difficulty. My throat got dry and tears starts streaming down my face.
" What do you mean, you won't be a mother?" She asked confusedly.
" We tried for a baby but we always failed to conceive and we decided to take a test….." My words choked up making it hard to continue. I thought I was strong and I can open up about it but I was so wrong. It's still hurt, after these years. Everyone moved on but I am still stuck in that phase.
" Shhh…. Enya! If it is hard for you to continue then it's okay you dont need to." She stood up from her chair to come to my side and hugged me encouraging me how strong I am and how I managed to stand on my own.
" And the test said I... I…. I will never g... get P.. preg.. pregnant."
" I am so sorry babe! I know it's hard for you but hang in there, you are so strong and I have never seen anyone this strong like you."
" He... He just left me because I am unable to give him a child, he never opted for another option siya, I loved him….."
" He was a jerk, Enya, it's his loss that he lost a diamond, and dont you worry miracle may happen now and then." She winked at me before giving me a tight hug and taking her place.
" Thank you so much for not judging me Siya, I was afraid that's why I never shared this with you."
" No, Enya you can trust me with anything, and as I said no one and nothing can make me feel less about you."
" Thanks."
" Don't mention babe." We drank our drinks and chatted away some more before deciding to leave the cafe. I feel like some burden has left me and I can breathe properly.