Chapter 30 Mia’s Place
It felt like death had come for Raina last night, grabbing her by the ankle, and dragged her kicking and screaming into a coffin except death had a face that she knew so well. The same face had become her savior, but she didn’t know what he was saving her from.
Had she been hallucinating?
She had heard them clearly last night. She had seen his hands go beneath the skirt of Mia’s knee-length dress. She had watched pleasure light Mia’s beautiful features and Kian enjoyed it. She had heard both of their pleasure even after she had turned away from the scene, trying desperately to block it out.
But then it was gone… like it never happened.
Instead Kian was right beside her, grabbing her and holding her against him. The office was untouched.
How was the office untouched?
The light was even off.
How did Kian not smell like Mia?
Why wasn’t Mia’s strong scent no longer wafting in the air?
It had been there, suffocating her into reality.
But then, Mia was gone like she never had been there.
She didn’t understand. She didn’t even understand it when Kian undressed her and the bruise she was so sure was there wasn’t even there. She still didn’t understand it. Her hand shakily touched her chest. She could feel eyes on her and she glanced over at Kian, who she thought was talking with Alpha Jayce and Alpha Ridley before they left, but his eyes focused on her.
No, it was specifically on her hand that rubbed against the area she thought would’ve been covered in a massive deep bruise like all the other times. Her emotions felt just as raw and jumbled like how all the times they did after Kian and Mia had sex. It made her feel worthless and undeserving, because she knew she could never match up to her.
Mia should’ve been his fated mate not her.
His mouth was a tight line. His eyes narrowed. His eyes drifted up to hers and she swallowed when she saw the questions within them. She watched as his own hand rubbed absentmindedly against the same area on his chest before turning his attention back to the Alphas.
It was an absolute blur when the Alphas and their groups took their leave. Sebastian had drawn Kian into conversation and Raina had slipped away craving solitude. She needed time to heal and lick her wounds in private. She found herself walking to that hidden area in the back that Kian took only Mia — the pond with the lilies and the lily pads. She remembered instructing some of the Deltas to put koi from the fountain in the courtyard into this very pond, because Mia loved the koi in the fountain. She had watched Kian watch Mia as she sat by the fountain with her fingers draped over the water.
Kian had taken great care of this place for Mia. He had installed a beautiful ornate white bench. There was also a little table with a few chairs on the side where Mia used to entertain her lady friends with gossip. Mia’s memory and essence was imbued in this place, because it was made for her by her fated mate.
This place reminded her of the real truth — the one that she couldn’t hide from. She was just a placeholder for the lady that should be standing next to Kian and beneath him while he tried to breed her for his heir. This was Mia’s role. This was Mia’s place.
“It would have been a beautiful place to die,” she murmured to herself absentmindedly.
She had said that once when she thought she was going to die. She had watched them like they had spotted her from above in the Luna’s suite. She had watched Kian turn Mia around and start kissing her. Unable to watch, she had walked into Mia’s sacred place to brace herself for the inevitable pain and she sat on the white bench overlooking the pond. The pain started to build until she felt her entire body breaking apart and she knew what they were doing.
She hadn’t wanted her sister or her best friend to watch over her like the other times. She didn’t know if she’d make it out alive that time. She knew death was coming for her then. Perhaps, it was a bit sadistic to think that it would’ve been most likely Mia that would’ve found her dead in her favorite place.
“What did you say?” Kian’s voice startled her out of her thoughts.
Wide eyed, she quickly whirled around to face Kian. “I-I didn’t say anything.”
“Yes, you did,” he growled, storming over to her. “I heard you, Raina. I know every single word you just said.”
She flushed. “It just stupid words.”
“Did you just say stupid words?” His rage barely in check as his eyes burned down into hers. He grabbed her chin between his fingers and held her face in place so she couldn’t not face him. “You dying isn’t just stupid words--”
Unable to hold in her pent-up pain and anger any longer, she cried out, “Like you cared then! You didn’t care then! You just continued to fuck her and I could’ve…” She trailed off as her emotions overwhelmed her. Her heart raced at what she almost revealed, but she didn’t care anymore. The pain was back and she didn’t know why. “I hate this place! I hate what it represents! She’s everywhere. Her memory is everywhere and I can’t escape it. She’s never going to be gone--”
“She’s no longer here, Raina!” he shouted back, cutting her off.
She laughed darkly at that. “Then tell me, Alpha, why is this place still intact? Why is this one place in pristine condition? A reminder that she will always hold a place in your heart? Maybe because you and I both know she’ll be back to reclaim what is rightfully hers!” She pushed him back, shaking her head. “I should’ve died that night, did you know that? I waited at that bench for death to have mercy on me while you just…” Her body shook at the memory. Tears escaped, blurring her vision. “I wished for death, but I woke up in the morning and I was still here. Do you know what that feels like? Do you?!”
With that, she ran off away from him, because it just hurt to be so close to him in the one place she knew was Mia’s. This entire place was hers. This pack house was even hers. She used to live in the same Luna suite. Her shattered heart was breaking and she didn’t understand. It had been years since she had felt like this — emotionally broken. That was the last time he had slept with Mia. They had broken up less than a month after. It had been years.
She had spent those years of reprieve, piecing herself back together. Now, she was falling apart again right in front of the one person that shouldn’t ever know and Mia wasn’t even here anymore. She didn’t live at the pack house anymore. She lived across the territory on the elite side with her grandfather in mansion that Kian bought for her family. Why did everything feel so fresh?
She didn’t make it far when Kian grabbed her from behind, wrapping his arms securely around her. He held her close as she cried. His face buried into the crook of her neck. She could feel his teeth almost piercing her skin right at her shoulder. Instead, she felt his mouth as he pressed a kiss there. His tears spilled on her skin.
Had he…
Had he just been about to claim her?
“I’m sorry,” he finally whispered against her skin. His arms held her tighter against him like he was afraid to let go. “I know I can’t make up for the sins I have piled up against you. I know this will never make up for the pain I know I caused you, but I am sorry. I’m so sorry.”
It was quite clear now to her.
He knew.
He knew she was his fated mate.
The words from last night crashed over her. The words that caused her to question if he knew the truth. Fear should’ve burned a path through her, but she was tired of running. She was tired of running away from everything. She was tired of running from him and the path that kept leading her straight back to him.
“Are you going to reject me then?” Her question was faint, barely above a whisper. It was a pathetic teary sob.
She was aware that he stiffened against her. Her blurred vision pitched for a moment. Her body weakened by all the pain, stress, and fatigue. At least before, her sister was giving her healing elixirs to help counteract everything. Maybe that was why it hurt worse?
She didn’t understand. She had felt fine yesterday until whatever happened last night. Was this even real? Was she just imagining this right now? That was when everything faded from her. Her body swayed and strong arms continued to hold her up. His voice called out to her in a panic.