Chapter 103: Girl's Talk

Chapter 103: Girl's Talk
Stacy sat with her legs crossed on the bed. She watched in amusement as Nelly ate. “Slow down. I’m not fighting for your food,” she said humorously. Nelly nodded and hummed at her while she chewed. “Th-ish ish ree-yee goo-d.”
“Did you make this?” She asked again after swallowing. Stacy shook her head. “Jack bought this,” she watched as the energy slowly seeped out of her. “Oh,” she looked at the food, suddenly lost appetite. “Why? Are you full?” Stacy probed.
Nelly pushed the noodles around with her fork before taking another bite, slower this time. “No, I was surprised, that’s all. So he bought my share after all.”
Stacy didn’t probe further. She simply laid back on her elbows while stretching her legs. “Are you not going to ask me anything?” Nelly looked over at her.
“You will tell me when you are ready. If you aren’t, I won’t hear the truth even if I ask, right?” She gave her a relaxed smile while swinging her legs in the air.
Nelly chuckled. “Smart.”
There was a long pause in the room while Nelly ate. Stacy found a book under her bed and was spinning it mindlessly. When Nelly finally finished eating, she was still quiet. “So, are you planning on telling me anything or not? You had too much time to think.” Stacy threw the book in the air and caught it as she talked.
Nelly snatched the book from her. “Don’t throw it.” That only made her laugh. “Alright, alright.” She leaned down on the bed with both arms behind her head.
“Sometimes I admire you,” Nelly said as she laid down beside her. “For what? For losing my memory?” Her voice was laced with humor. “Maybe.. but no. I mean, you are always so optimistic. I wonder how you could do that. I’m on the verge of breaking down,” saying that, she let out a self-deprecating laugh.
“Your brother’s injury was that last straw.”
“Yes, you can say that,” Nelly stared at the ceiling as she spoke. “This scares me. All of these. I’ve never felt so scared in my whole life. I never knew a person could feel so much. Irritation, fear, anger, sadness.. just name them.”
“It’s normal for a person to have these emotions,” Stacy confirmed, “after what happened, it’s totally understandable for you to have those feelings.”
Nelly shook her head and sighed. “I don’t know. I’ve never lost control of my emotions. I always thought of my logical thinking as my pride.. if it makes sense.”
“You are smart, I’ll give you that,” Stacy affirmed, “but we humans have emotions. That’s why we are human. Otherwise, what’s the difference between us and those machines? They don’t scream when I pull their intestines out like humans do when you are operating.”
Nelly’s brows furrowed. “I put them to sleep before I do it. They don’t scream.”
“That’s not the point,” Stacy swatted the air, “what I’m trying to say is, you should accept that you have those emotions. Having those emotions is bad enough. To feel bad that you have those feelings is just having an internal friction about having an internal friction. That’s a disaster.”
Nelly was quiet as she tried to process the seemingly philosophical concept. “The thing is, if I’m simply feeling it, then it’s fine. I just have to go around the place and make people’s life harder. Not sure how this is good. I think it’s not okay at all.”
“It’s okay to not be okay,” Stacy chimed in, “it’s alright to breathe fire at people at times.” Nelly chuckled. “Your explanation is just..”
“Right. Who are those burnt?”
Nelly’s smile faded out. “I don’t..”
“Just tell me who you are feeling bad about, I believe that’s the best way to know.”
The answer was clear to her. “Jack.” The moment the name came out of her mouth, the frown on her face deepened.
“Good. Now that you are not under pressure, try to think back to what happened. Was what you did to him the best thing to do? If not, did he deserve what you did to him?” Nelly focused as she tried to do as told.
“I’m not trying to judge you on whether what you did is wise or immoral. I’m simply saying, if he deserves it, I believe you won’t give him enough of what he deserves, according to my understanding of you. I would encourage you to go back to him for another punch. But if he didn’t deserve what you did, then rather than feeling bad, you should think of what’s the most logical thing to do. That’s what you’re good at, right?”
Nelly nodded absent-mindedly. “Actually, I want to apologize.”
“Oh? Then go find him and get it over with. I’ll go with you so that I can punch..” before Stacy could finish the sentence, Nelly talked over her. “No, not to him. To you.” The place suddenly went silent.
“I.. you.. what?” Stacy was confused. It didn’t go according to what she thought it would. “For what?”
Nelly shook her head. “I was in the room when you came to check on me after my fight with Jack. I wasn't in the right condition to talk to you so I..”
“It’s understandable. I won’t take it to heart. I was simply worried after all. It’s more than enough to see that you are fine.”
“There’s more to it, actually,” Nelly’s voice was small, causing Stacy to raise her brow. “It’s about Chad.” Stacy’s heart skipped a beat. Yes, the whole situation totally stirred in the direction she never thought would go. “What about him?” Her voice was too calm for her liking. Her body was already preparing her for the worst of news, going into an extremely calm mood to offset the emotion that would rise at whatever Nelly was going to say.
Nelly didn’t notice the change in her mood. She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “Actually, since I came to this town, I had thought that Chad was cool. I really look up to him.” Stacy held her breath as she listened.
“I know.. I’m sorry. I didn’t know about both of you. But as time progressed, it became clearer but I didn’t want to acknowledge it. I didn’t want to destroy the good fantasy I built in my head. I know it’s wrong. For that, I apologize,” the words tumbled out of her mouth like a bullet train out of a cave.
“You can hate me. You can scold me. You can even.. stop talking to me. I can understand.”