Chapter 168: KENN :It's Not Your Fault, Frel
Kenn’s POV
I am the type of man who finds it difficult to comfort someone in a straightforward way. The only thing I could do at that moment was let her keep crying in my arms while gently stroking her hair, hoping that action could make her calmer.
“Wear this, your body is very cold,” I whispered softly as I put my jacket on her fragile-looking body.
Even when I took off my jacket and put it on Frel, I felt that I had to be very careful because I didn’t want to hurt her even a little.
Without thinking twice, I carried her into the car. Throughout the journey, she stayed silent, making me feel anxious.
“Frel, say something. Don’t stay silent like this,” I pleaded, but she still didn’t move.
When we arrived home, she immediately got out and walked unsteadily inside. I could only watch her from behind in silence.
A sharp pain pierced my heart when I saw her crying while shaking the bodies of her grandmother and grandfather. My heart felt torn as I watched her face filled with sorrow and despair. It was heartbreaking to hear her pleading to relive their time together if only they could wake up again.
“I can lose everything as long as it’s not you. So I beg you, don’t leave Frel alone here. Frel needs you. Please wake up quickly. Let’s gather together again. Let’s joke like we used to and have picnics under the mango tree. Please answer me, Grandpa, Grandma. At least move your fingers a little!” she screamed, breaking the silence of the mourning house.
She screamed and wailed until two men stepped forward to hold both of Frel’s hands as her emotions began to get out of control. I couldn’t bear to see it. I stepped forward as well and asked the two men to let her go.
“Stop! Let her go,” I shouted at the two men.
“But we’re afraid she’ll go berserk again,” one of them said.
“She won’t. Let me handle it. I’ll make sure she’ll be calmer if she’s with me.”
I hugged her, trying to calm her down and asking her to let go.
“They’re fine. They’re at peace now. Now you have to let them go,” I whispered right into her ear.
But it was natural for her to refuse. She was too overwhelmed by deep guilt and unstable emotions.
After returning from the funeral, I felt that Frel had lost her spirit for life. Her face grew paler and her gaze was empty. She looked extremely fragile. Several times I scolded myself for being unable to do anything. I even did the stupidest thing by letting Frel and her mother talk alone without thinking about her feelings first.
I thought all mothers were the first people most loved in the world, just like how I felt about my own mother. But I forgot, wasn’t the reason Frel didn’t want to be called by her full name because her mother had heartlessly abandoned her since she was little?
At first, I thought that by letting them talk alone, there would be some clarity about her mother’s actions. But I forgot the fact that Frel was still in mourning. I didn’t think about the consequences of my decision.
Instead of getting better, Frel became even more devastated after talking to her mother. Indirectly, I had recklessly forced her to reopen old childhood wounds of growing up without parental love. I was truly foolish.
By God, I felt more and more like a cruel man when I saw her becoming more miserable. Her body slumped and her sobs sounded heartbreaking. I pulled her into my embrace, and instantly her crying broke against my chest. My heart hurt hearing it.
“You know now how broken my life is,” she said at that time.
“I don’t care,” I answered, and indeed I didn’t care about all her past.
“I am a child from a wrong relationship.”
“That’s not your fault.”
I loved her sincerely, not because of her family background or her status.
“It turns out Kevan and I are siblings. I’m sure he must be very sad, Kenn.”
I fell silent for a moment, then let out a heavy sigh. “It’s not only him who is sad, but you are far more hurt.”
After saying a few comforting words, I immediately carried her to the bedroom. Looking at Frel lying pale on the bed made my hand lift to stroke her cheek. I realized my hand was trembling too, but I ignored it. I brushed aside the strands of hair covering her face, gazing at her in silence while being flooded with various feelings that made me afraid of losing her.
“Sleep. I’ll be here watching over you,” I murmured softly.
I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to protect her, just like I had failed to stop my mother’s tears from continuing to fall because of my foolishness.
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