Chapter 162: KEVAN: The Bloodline That Separates

Kevan’s POV

Forgive my foolishness for still not daring to appear before you until now.

If only you knew, how much these hands longed to hold you in my embrace, to pass my strength to you so you could recover quickly and be cheerful like before. But what’s the use? What’s the use if even I myself am now like a living corpse with no strength left without you by my side.

No. That’s not the only reason. There was another reason strong enough to keep me from moving toward her. A reason that, until now, had made me a pitiful boy.

I was afraid that when I met her, I wouldn’t be able to hold back the turmoil in my heart anymore. I was too afraid I wouldn’t be able to let her go and would end up defying God’s destiny.

I was not as strong as Mother, when Father confessed his affair, Mother could so easily forgive him right away with a steadfast heart.

"Mom, how can you still smile?" I asked one afternoon.

Mother only gently stroked my hair. "Because I love him."

Maybe we both had stories of one-sided love, but Mother was more fortunate. With her patience, she finally managed to gain Father’s love.

As for my story, could it still be fought for if even God was not on my side?

So what should I do now? Is there anyone who can answer me? Is there anyone who can understand my feelings when I have already fallen in love but am forced to live without her?

"Tell me! What should I do now?!" I shouted into the emptiness of the night.

Or should I blame Father, who secretly reconnected with his first love? Taking away my chance to fight for my own love?

The problem was, hadn’t I already forgiven Father long ago for everything he had done in the past?

That day, a few days after I entered high school, Mother and Father told me everything. They said that it was the right time to tell me everything, especially since they didn’t want me to hear it from someone else.

"Kevan, sit down. There is something big that Father needs to talk to you about." Father’s voice sounded so heavy that day.

Father’s story about his first love, which continued to the marriage between Mother and Father that was based solely on saving the family company.

Not only that, Father also told me about his affair with his first love. At first, I was angry after hearing that truth, but after seeing Mother insist on convincing me that Father did not deserve to be blamed, I suddenly realized that Mother must have known about it for a long time.

"Enough, Father! I don’t want to hear anymore!" I shouted as I stood up, about to leave.

But Mother held my hand. "Listen until the end, Kevan. For me."

And it was proven—when I asked since when—Mother answered that the day after the incident, Father had immediately been honest and admitted his mistake.

For Mother’s sake, I tried to listen to Father’s explanation until the end.

About how Father’s love journey was cut short by Grandmother’s pressure, until he was forced to accept Mother as his wife even though he had no feelings of love at all. Even to the point of Father’s promise to try to love Mother because of his guilt for having gotten her pregnant under the influence of alcohol.

What reaction is appropriate when you hear with your own ears that you were born by accident?

"So, am I just a mistake?" I asked in a hoarse voice.

Father lowered his head deeply. "Not a mistake, Kevan. You are a blessing that came at a difficult time."

Silence? Anger? Rage?

For them, I was already mature enough to know the secret between the two of them. The fact was, being considered an adult didn’t guarantee that I could think calmly. Emotions were still at the forefront.

If it weren’t for Mother, maybe I would still hate Father until now. I forgave him, because I knew Mother loved him very much.

One day, without Father’s knowledge, I secretly met Mother and asked for an explanation. As I suspected, it was about a love triangle. Mother had loved Father long before Father found his first love.

"Did you know that Claretta was everything to Father?" I asked.

Mother nodded slowly. "I knew, Kevan. I knew my position from the beginning."

Mother was haunted by guilt because Father’s first love was her own close friend—Claretta Maharani—a top model whose career had now skyrocketed. Mother also felt guilty for having taken Father away from her.

I began to put myself in Father’s position and tried to understand his feelings, and I wasn’t even sure I could be as strong as he was.

It was indeed not easy to make a decision that went against one’s conscience. But Father did it. He sacrificed for the family and let Claretta go. Even though the way he did it was wrong, little by little I came to understand that their love could not be entirely blamed.

They loved each other. Their love was separated, and they were forced to feel extraordinary pain from an unwanted separation.

In the end, we decided to forget everything and rebuild ourselves into a family again. However, everything turned out beyond expectations. I never imagined it would end like this.

I believe that nothing in life is a coincidence. Like how I could meet her, everything had been planned.

The only thing I regretted was this. Why did we have to meet with feelings involved?

Maybe if we had never known each other, it would have been a different story. I surely would not have felt this much pain.

"Why did You give me these feelings if in the end You showed me that she is my sister?!" I growled as I stared at the gray sky.

But the fact was, what’s done was done. There was no way out, this wall was too thick for me to break.

In what other way could I reach her, when all hope was gone?

Frel ... the name that always filled my heart and mind.

Frel ... the more I tried to forget that name, the stronger this longing screamed it out.

"Frel, forgive your brother," I whispered softly.

The word "brother" felt so strange and painful on my tongue.

She bloomed in every part of me. My heart had been stolen by her. How could I ignore her, when my heart was unable to control itself? It was impossible for me to stop thinking about all of this.

The first time I cried in a farewell. The first time I was driven crazy by love.

One reality I could never forget. Now, we were siblings. She was my sister. Nothing more than that.

"You are not my girlfriend anymore, Frel. You are my sister." I repeated that sentence over and over as if it could kill the pain in my chest.

And one more reality that I could no longer delay, that I had chosen to leave to learn to forget her....

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