Chapter 160: A Secret That Destroys

Mrs. Viona's tight grip on my hand jolted my awareness. She now buried her face on the back of my hand.

"I was blinded by my own love. I wanted to have Aditya completely. I did not want anyone to have him, including Claretta, Frel."

"Why are you that cruel?" my mind screamed, even though my lips were numb. "Just because of love, you destroyed other people's lives?"

My jaw hardened. Those words felt like a blade.

"I realize I was very selfish. I destroyed our friendship for my own interests."

Mrs. Viona sat upright again. She wiped the remaining tears with both of her hands. "Therefore, Frel, back then when Aditya was honest about his relationship with Claretta in a hotel, about the night they spent together, I could only surrender. I realized love cannot be forced. Their feelings were too strong. I might be able to separate their bodies, but not their love."

She took a heavy breath. "However, everything was already too late. My love for Aditya had become too deep. I chose to forgive his mistake without wanting to let him go to Claretta. I was willing to accept any consequences as long as he remained by my side, for me and Kevan."

Oh God, please stop this. I do not want to hear any further. This secret will only trap me in a torturing dilemma. I want to be free. I want to leave with Grandpa and Grandma only, God.

Silence slowly enveloped us again. I thought Mrs. Viona had ended her confession, but her voice was heard again filling the room.

"You know, Frel, Aditya is too kind. I once made a huge mistake in one night. I made Aditya very drunk and lured him to touch me. Even though he did it because he thought I was Claretta, I still let it happen. The next morning when he realized it, Aditya immediately knelt and begged for forgiveness for his mistake that night. Until one day I was declared pregnant, and from that moment Aditya promised to learn to love me for the sake of our child."

A feeling of anger now surrounded me. My mind was mixed between believing and not believing that Mrs. Viona was capable of acting that far.

"Yesterday, when Claretta revealed her relationship with Aditya, I was not surprised because of the fact that they stayed at the hotel, Frel. I was surprised because it turned out that she also had a child from Aditya."

Why, Madam? Will you hate me too? Is it not enough that you already have Mr. Aditya along with his entire life?

"I do not blame Claretta, I do not hate you either, Frel. In fact I am the one you both should hate. If this is the only way for you to realize it soon, I will say the truth," she said. My feeling began to grow uneasy. "After this, you may tell the truth to your father or to anyone. I am willing, Frel. I am willing as long as you recover soon."

Mrs. Viona lowered her head again while squeezing her own fingers. My curiosity reached its peak.

"Until now, Aditya still does not know that the event that night was purely my scheme, Frel. Even about the pretense of that arranged marriage, he never knew."

Oh God. So until this very moment, Mr. Aditya does not even know that he was trapped?

Then Claretta, how is she? Has she been experiencing the same torment as I have all this time? Has she been harboring the same deep wound, or perhaps even more shattered than I am?

What will happen if I reveal everything? Will Mrs. Viona step back? Will a new family finally be able to form again?

Then, what about Kevan? Does Kevan not also need a father? Would I really have the heart to build happiness on top of my own brother's suffering?

Suddenly tears fell from the corners of my eyes.

No. Building a new family will not be that easy as long as wounds and trauma still exist within someone. Guilt will continue to chase us if we recklessly cast them aside.

I cried without a sound. My heart was shattered. It hurt so much.

God ... why is all of this happening to me? I cannot bear all of this, God. Please make it stop.

Suddenly my heart pounded wildly in an irregular rhythm. My breath came in gasps. My chest felt as if it were being forcefully pulled upward. My body shook violently, while my legs moved uncontrollably.

The blood flowing through my entire body felt burning hot. My hand pressed down hard, gripping the bedsheet with the remaining strength I had. My head shook spontaneously, my lips opened but only a hoarse sound came out, as if something was blocking my airway.

"Frel, what is wrong with you?"

I felt Mrs. Viona's hands shaking my body. She touched my forehead and held both of my cheeks in panic.

"Frel, please do not scare me like this. What is wrong with you, Dear? No, do not go yet. Your father will be very sad. We do not want to lose you, Frel. Doctor! Doctor, please! Frel, hold on. Doctor...!!"

........................................