Chapter 151: The Peak of Regret

I repeatedly wiped away the tears that kept falling without stopping, and now my back had straightened as I wiped the damn snot coming out of my nose.

"Why don't you want to listen? I already told you to stay by my side, why did you leave me like this instead? Answer me, Grandpa, Grandma. Wake up, please wake up. What am I supposed to do without you? I can't live without you."

"Frel...." Dara's voice trembled from behind. "Please, don't be like this."

"Let him be," someone whispered softly. "He's still in shock."

"But if we let him stay like this, he could faint," another replied anxiously.

"Frel." Tomi's voice sounded careful. "We're here, you're not alone."

"No!" I shouted without turning around. "I don't need you! I need Grandpa and Grandma!"

I screamed and now began to despair. "Answer me, for God's sake! One of you, please make a sound!"

Both of my hands shook their arms harder. "I can lose everything as long as it's not you. So please don't leave Frel alone here. Frel needs you. Come on, wake up quickly. Let's gather together again. Let's joke again like before and have a picnic under the mango tree. Please answer me, Grandpa, Grandma. At least move just one of your fingers!"

"Oh my God...." Dara covered her mouth, holding back her tears.

"I can't bear to see this," whispered an old woman among the crowd.

I screamed wildly, shrieking and wailing. My emotions began to spiral out of control. Suddenly both of my hands were grabbed by people on my right and left. I was dragged away to the back. I shouted calling for Grandpa and Grandma while struggling, but the grip of these two men was very strong. They twisted both of my hands behind my back and pressed my shoulders, making me unable to move.

"Let go! Damn it, let go of me!" I roared while kicking in every direction. "I have to wake them up! They must not be cold on that floor!"

"Hold him!" one of the men shouted.

"Be careful, he's struggling!"

"Frel, please calm down!" Dara shouted in panic.

"Stop." I saw Kenn step forward toward us. "Let him go."

"But we're afraid he'll lose control again."

"I won't. Let me handle him." Kenn stepped closer toward me. "I can assure you he will be calmer if he's with me."

"Kenn," Tomi said quietly, "he's really out of control."

"I know," Kenn replied briefly without taking his eyes off me.

"Kenn, tell them to let me go!" I shouted at him with reddened eyes. "Grandpa and Grandma are waiting for me, they can't wake up if I'm not there!"

"Frel, listen to me first," Kenn said in a low voice.

"No! I have to go there!"

Not long after, I felt the restraint on my hands loosen. As soon as the grip was released, Kenn immediately pulled my body into his embrace.

"Calm down, I'm here," he whispered.

My teeth chattered with a restless stare. My fingers were tightly clenched. My breathing was rapid and the fear attacking me grew stronger. "Grandpa, Grandma, why, Kenn? Why don't they answer my question?"

"Why are they just silent?" I asked again with a faint voice that was almost gone. "Usually they would immediately call my name."

"Frel...." Dara sobbed softly.

"I don't know what to say," Tomi murmured in a heavy voice.

Tomi and Dara slowly stepped forward to approach us.

"They're fine. They are calm now. Now you have to let them go," Kenn whispered in my ear.

"No." I shook my head hard. "It's not that easy for me to let them go. This is all my fault. They became like this because of me, Kenn. I'm a murderer. I'm the one who made them look for me. I'm the one who caused Grandpa and Grandma to have an accident. Me, Kenn!"

"I should have been there, not them!" I sobbed while gripping his shoulders. "I'm the one who brought misfortune to them, Kenn!"

I struggled as Kenn's embrace grew tighter. I was like someone possessed. My emotions and logic were no longer in sync.

I hit Kenn's chest, asking him to let me go. The two men who had restrained me earlier stepped forward a few steps, but they were blocked by Rian.

"Don't come closer," Rian said firmly. "Let Kenn handle it."

"But he's hitting him!" One of them said hesitantly.

"Kenn will be fine," Rian replied shortly.

The atmosphere around me suddenly turned silent and tense even though the people around shifted to form a circle to watch.

"Let me go, Kenn! I have to apologize once more!" I shouted against his chest.

"Frel, stop." Kenn jerked me. "I said, stop!"

Kenn took a breath and then let it out while closing his eyes for a moment, as if he was suppressing his own emotions.

"There is nothing wrong and no one needs to be blamed. You once told me that everything that happens is God's will. God determines our life and death, it's just that we never know when and in what way it will happen. You said it when we were on the hill. Do you still remember?"

I fell silent. Some of the emotion began to subside.

"You said it to me yourself, Frel," he added in a softer yet firm tone.

Kenn pulled me into his embrace again. "Please calm down. Grandpa and Grandma would surely be sad to see you like this."

That sentence made my emotions fade instantly, but it also made my tears pour out uncontrollably. I sobbed loudly against Kenn's chest.

I gripped Kenn's shirt tightly while resting my forehead on my clenched hand. I tried to hold back the surge of pain that slipped into my heart, but I still couldn't. The guilt kept attacking, stabbing and flowing through my entire body and soul.

"Cry if it makes you feel a little relieved," Kenn whispered into my hair.

That eroded all the strength I had built together with Grandpa and Grandma. My body weakened, as if now everything had flown away along with their departure.

"Hold him well, Kenn," Tomi said softly. "He's about to collapse."

"I won't let him go," Kenn replied quietly. "Not now."

......................................