Chapter 136: Grief at the End of Waiting

I felt Kenn’s hand pull me into his embrace, letting my head rest on his shoulder. I froze, and my heart raced.

“Calm down, I’m here,” Kenn whispered softly near my ear.

A few seconds later, my hand slowly lifted and wrapped around his back.

“If I ordered all my men to search for your parents’ whereabouts, would you agree?”

Kenn’s question made my body tense. Reflexively, I shook my head in panic.

“No, Kenn. Don’t do that,” I replied in a trembling voice. “Why did you suddenly ask that?”

Kenn let out a long breath. “I just want you to have clarity. Doesn’t every child long for a home?”

“I don’t want to look for someone who clearly doesn’t want my presence, Kenn,” I said hoarsely.

In the past, Tomi and Dara had offered similar help, but I had firmly refused. My logic was simple: if they truly wanted me, they would surely be able to find me. Grandma’s house had never changed location since long ago.

Besides, who was I to them? Just a memory they might want to erase.

“Alright, I won’t force you,” Kenn said while gently stroking my long hair. “But you still have to be happy for Grandpa and Grandma at home. Their decision to raise you is real proof that you are very precious and wanted by them, even if not by your biological parents.”

I nodded softly in his arms, absorbing every sentence that tried to strengthen my fragile soul.

“I’m sure you are a strong girl. Just as I have begun to make peace with Hendra’s departure, I want you to also make peace with your past. Let God’s hand work in our destiny. We only need to be grateful for all His blessings and His will,” Kenn continued.

“What if I’m not as strong as you, Kenn?” I asked while looking up into his eyes.

“You are stronger than you think,” he answered firmly while brushing his thumb across my cheek.

Kenn’s last words made my heart feel as if it had been sprinkled with cool, soothing water, bringing calm. My eyes welled up with tears of emotion. My arms even tightened around him.

Oh God, just once, may I be selfish? May I choose to stay with Kenn and let go of Kevan?

The silence was broken when Kenn’s phone rang. I didn’t know who was calling him, but as soon as the call ended, the expression on Kenn’s face changed drastically. He stood up in a hurry.

“We have to go back inside. Now!” he shouted in an urgent tone.

Without giving any explanation, he tightly grasped my hand and pulled me into a run.

“Kenn! Wait! What is really going on?” I shouted amid my ragged breathing. But he did not answer.

I panted as I followed the rhythm of Kenn’s steps. We ran nonstop along the same path we had taken when heading to the garden.

Could it be that we were going back to Reno’s room? Did something happen to him? Was it bad news? Was he in danger?

“Kenn, answer me! This is about Reno, right?” I demanded, my voice beginning to break into sobs.

Ah, no. Impossible. Repeatedly, I brushed aside the assumptions that led to Reno’s worst possible condition, trying to force my mind to stay positive.

However, my curiosity only triggered my adrenaline. I sped up along the hospital corridor, which now felt extremely long and terrifying. From afar, the sound of commotion began to be heard. Fear crept deeper into my chest as the distance between us grew shorter.

The sounds of crying and sorrowful wailing echoed back and forth, forming an atmosphere of grief that was deeply heartbreaking.

Our pace slowed. I froze, and my heart pounded wildly when I understood the reason behind the crying.

In front of me, the white cloth had been lifted. Displayed was the face of a small child, very pale and stiff.

“Reno....” I whispered softly, barely audible.

My gaze suddenly went blank. My defenses collapsed, and I was no longer able to hold back the tears that streamed down.

He was gone....

Reno had left me. God had taken him from us forever....

“God, why did You take him so soon?” I wailed in my heart. “Look, his mother is already here, God. Reno’s greatest wish is right in front of him.”

“Why now? He didn’t even get the chance to hug his mother!” I screamed hysterically inside my mind.

Abel. Then, what about Abel? What should I say to him later?

With my legs trembling violently, I stepped closer to the woman who was kneeling beside the bed. Claretta Maharani. She was sobbing uncontrollably, calling Reno’s name in a voice so heart-wrenching, as if her world had just collapsed upon her.

“Reno! Wake up, dear! It’s Mom!” she cried while hugging the stiff body. “God, don’t take him now! I beg you....”

Seeing that scene, my chest burned with surging anger. I could no longer hold myself back.

“Only now you’re crying for him?” my voice rose, breaking the atmosphere of grief in the room. “Where were you all these years when he woke up in the middle of the night just to ask where his mother was?”

Claretta looked up, her face swollen with tears. “I... I regret it. I didn’t mean to let him suffer,” she sobbed in a voice that was almost gone.

“Your regret won’t bring him back to life!” I shouted with overflowing emotion. “You were busy chasing your career as a model, maintaining your image in front of the camera, while this child counted his days in the orphanage, clutching the false hope you left behind!”

“Please, stop! I’m his mother, I’m also in unbearable pain!” Claretta cried amid her increasingly hysterical sobs.

“Mother? You dare to call yourself his mother?” I laughed bitterly, a laugh filled with disgust. “A mother would not throw away her own flesh and blood to a foreign place just because she was afraid her future would be ruined. You weren’t even here when he fought his pain every single day!”

“I worked hard for his future too,” Claretta defended herself, her body trembling violently.

“What future are you talking about? Look at him now! His future ended on this hospital bed without ever feeling your embrace even once!”

I stepped closer, staring straight into her eyes filled with grief, yet I gave not a single ounce of sympathy. My next words flew out sharply, piercing straight into the deepest point of her guilt.

“Don’t pretend to be the one who lost the most, Claretta Maharani. You killed his hopes long before God took his life.”

I took a long breath, delivering the final blow, the most painful one for a mother who had abandoned her child.

“Reno left carrying a longing you never fulfilled. And forever, you will live with the reality that you are a famous model who successfully abandoned her own child to an orphanage, yet failed to be human when your own child was breathing his last.”

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