Chapter 52

“Or say you convince him to leave church and try living your life. Would he ever fit in the gay world? Would he feel guilty and get all depressed? Would he start judging you and your friends for your lack of faith, your sinful lifestyle?”

“I don’t think Kenny would do that. After we had s…well after, he was happy. He didn’t try to preach to me.” But even as Ted spoke, he remembered how he had felt before he saw Kenny that first time at The Union. He’d had doubts about how it’d ever work, about how they were too different.

Then Ted remembered Kenny saying how it was important to him that he and his partner share the same faith. Just that morning he’d invited Ted to come to church with him.

However, despite Randy’s cautions and his own reservations, Ted knew he had to try to straighten things out with Kenny.

* * * *

Two weeks after his coming outparty at the restaurant, Ted drove to campus and parked in the student lot behind Kenny’s dorm. He’d tried texting, emailing, and phoning Kenny as Randy had suggested, but got no response. His last resort was to face Kenny, cold turkey, in person. He wasn’t sure what he would say but he knew he had to try. He went up to Kenny’s dorm room and knocked on the door. A young man with acne opened it.

“Hi, er…is Kenny here?” Ted asked.

“No,” came the reply.

“Do you know where I can find him? It’s kind of important.”

“He went to the library.”

“Okay, thanks,” Ted said and turned to leave.

“You’re Ted aren’t you?”

Ted turned back to face Kenny’s roommate. “Yes, I am.”

“He doesn’t want to see you. He told me that if you ever showed up here to tell you that.”

“I figured as much,” Ted said more to himself than the man standing before him. He then thanked the guy again and left.

Ted walked from the dorm to the library. The weather was gray and blustery. A cold, early autumn drizzle was falling, matching Ted’s somber mood. Why am I doing this? He doesn’t want to see me. So why am I wasting my time?

But despite his hesitations, he trudged on, bowing his head against the wind and rain.

The undergraduate library was a huge structure at the center of campus. There were many floors filled with stacks and numerous reading rooms. After searching several of the rooms he and Kenny had frequented, he came up empty. Ted decided Kenny must be avoiding the ones in which they had studied together.

There were several libraries on campus. Kenny might not even be here. Ted chastised himself for not asking Kenny’s roommate which library Kenny had gone to.

Ted was just about to give up when he caught sight of Kenny sitting alone at the far end of one of the study rooms off the main lobby. He was bent over his books and papers, working intently. Just like I remember him. I used to tease him that he would become a hunchback if he didn’t learn better posture.

Ted stood for a few moments gathering his courage and deciding just what he was going to say. Finally he squared his shoulders, took a steadying breath, and headed toward his quarry.

Stopping at Kenny’s table, Ted forced a smile. “Hi.”

Kenny looked up. As recognition dawned, he sighed deeply, took his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. “What do you want?” he asked simply, his voice sounding tired.

“I just want to talk.”

“I don’t see that we have anything to talk about,” Kenny said in that same defeated tone. He put his glasses back on and turned back to his books.

“Please, I know you’re upset with me but if you’d just give me a chance to explain.”

“Shhh,” came a whispered voice from the next table.

“Can we go somewhere and talk?” Ted pleaded.

Kenny looked at Ted for several seconds as if trying to make up his mind. He got to his feet, but didn’t pack up his books. He just grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair and headed for the stairs which led to the front doors. Ted followed.

Outside, the wind was still blowing and the cold, misty drizzle had turned to a light rain. They moved to the entry arch of the library to get out of the worst of the weather.

Kenny stood, hands folded over his chest and regarded Ted. “Have you quit your job as a…what did you call it, an escort?” There was no malice in his voice, just a simple question as if he were asking if Ted had eaten breakfast that morning.