Chapter 15

But today, I stand before you, promising you my unconditional love. And I want to make sure you understand I mean it.

I promise to kiss you every morning even when your breath smells like death warmed over. I promise to feed you when you’re hungry and grumpy, and when you throw one of your famous fits, I’ll tickle you until your happy laughter returns. I promise to still love you when you insist on warming your icy feet on my legs under the covers. And I promise to always laugh at your corny jokes.

But my vow to you goes much, much deeper.

I will always stand by your side. I will always be proud to call myself your husband. I will always have a supporting hand for you and a shoulder for you to cry on. I’ll lend you my ear when you need to talk, nurse you when you’re sick, and be your shield when you need protection. I promise to be your best friend and biggest supporter.

My love doesn’t come with strings attached, Luca. I give it freely and unconditionally and forever.

This is my solemn vow.

“What are you smiling at?” Gus’s husky voice pulled Luca out of the memory.

Luca leaned forward to give his husband a quick kiss. “You,” he murmured against Gus’s lips. “I was remembering your vows.”

“I meant every word.” Gus encircled his waist and pulled him closer.

“I know, honey.” Luca wiggled so he could look his husband in the eye. “I’ve never doubted your feelings.”

Gus hummed and kissed his temple. “Good,” he murmured.

Luca waited for the questions Gus had every right to ask, but they never came. He just caressed Luca’s back and kissed him over and over wherever he could reach, while making cute, content noises. A happy sigh, a satisfied hum, or a tiny moan when Luca’s fingers found his sensitive spots.

Again, Gus’s easy acceptance, how he always supported and encouraged, and never asked for anything but Luca’s love and respect in return, stunned Luca. Anyone else would have demanded to know his story a long time ago. Maybe even questioned his trust for not telling it. But not his loyal husband. Geeky, adorable Gus.

“I had just turned eighteen when Mother found me on the couch with a guy,” Luca said, filled with a sudden need to tell Gus everything.

He could feel Gus stiffen when he started to talk. He didn’t say anything, just kept caressing Luca’s back, but the small tilt of his head told Luca everything he needed to know. Gus’s entire focus was projected at him, and it gave Luca the courage he needed to continue.

So he told his husband all about that dreadful spring and how he’d almost ended up at a camp to cure his gayness. He told Gus about the first year at college, how he’d concentrated on school and kept to himself, not making friends or going out. He spoke about the loneliness that had threatened to consume him and how he’d isolated himself, until that day one of his professors had spoken to him and asked what was wrong. She’d noticed he’d changed, become more withdrawn over time, and she’d been worried.

He’d broken down in her classroom, cried and sobbed and raged, but she’d taken it in stride, locked her door, and listened. When he’d calmed down, she’d told him about the LGBT Rights Group and given him a phone number he could call to get in touch with the Poetry Club.

He was convinced those thirty minutes with his professor had saved his life. After their conversation, he’d decided to take his life back and had started attending meetings at the LGBT Rights Group. But it was in the Poetry Club he’d thrived.

“I met a guy called Edgar,” Luca said and shivered as Gus’s hands continued to map out every inch of skin on his back. “He was a British exchange student, and he lived and breathed poetry. I think he knew all Shakespeare’s sonnets by heart.”

“Wow. That’s impressing.”

“Yeah. He was so different from everyone. He walked around campus with a book, reading poems out loud even if he was alone. And in the middle of a conversation, he’d go quiet and start scribbling on whatever he found. A napkin. My hand,” Luca chuckled.

“He sounds awesome.”

“He was.”

“What happened?”

“Nothing happened. He had to go back to England. We promised we’d keep in touch, but we were kids…” Luca’s voice trailed off.

“I get it. College isn’t the time to nurture long-distance friendships.”

“No,” Luca agreed. “He loved to dress in women’s clothes. He said he was straight, but I don’t know. He had a goatee but wore short skirts and crop tops. I was…fascinated with the juxtaposition.”

“Mhm,” Gus’s fingers drew swirly patterns on his back, and Luca felt completely safe. Loved.