Chapter 14

He scooted close and watched Gus in the dim pink light. Gus looked so relaxed and carefree, all spread out in their bed. Luca ran a fingertip along the contours of his husband’s mouth. Gus mumbled and turned toward him, putting a warm hand on Luca’s stomach.

He wasn’t surprised Gus had fallen asleep. After all, Luca had kept all the dirty promises he’d whispered during their first dance, and then some. Gus had screamed the walls down after his third orgasm, and Luca had been afraid the cops would come knocking, thinking someone was being killed. He snickered. He’d give his husband a few minutes of rest, then he’d wake Gus up. Maybe with his tongue on a nipple.

He took a deep breath and rested his hand over Gus’s. He was happy they’d decided to spend the wedding night in their own home and not at a hotel. They both loved their bed, and Gus had insisted that it wouldn’t be a proper wedding night without the porn-y lights.

Luca giggled at the memory of Gus walking in on him as he’d glued LED strips all over the headboard and the bed frame when they’d just moved in together. At first, Gus had been skeptical and muttered something about them wanting the lights turned off when they slept anyway. Luca had just smiled, chosen the red lighting, and proceeded to show Gus the purpose by fucking him thoroughly through the mattress.

Gus never complained again. He started calling them “the porn-y lights” and had insisted they spend their first night as a married couple making love in the intense red light. As always, when they finished having wild monkey sex, Gus had changed the color to something softer. Pink for romance on their first night as husbands.

Luca’s chest ached as he lay there, observing Gus. They had so many great memories together, and he’d almost ruined everything today. But that word was like a red flag to a bull.

Freak.

It triggered the fight or flight instinct in him, and since he wasn’t a fighter, he always ended up running. Like that time before Gus, when he’d been out to a club with friends. A cute and ridiculously tall guy had flirted with him all night. Before long, he’d been pinned to the back wall by Mr. Tall, who’d held both of Luca’s hands over his head with one of his huge ones, and the other did stuff to his dick that probably was illegal in some states. He’d been close to coming in his pants when the guy had bent down and whispered in his ear.

“Wanna get out of here and get your freak on?”

Luca’s dick had wilted so quick, he’d been afraid it would retreat into his body and never come out again. He’d struggled to free his hands until the tall guy got the message and let go. Without a word, he’d run away and hidden in a stall in the men’s room, where he’d sat with his head between his knees, trying not hyperventilate.

His mother could have destroyed their relationship today. But Gus knew him well enough to be certain he hadn’t run from them, that something else had caused him to flee. Luca had never believed such a thing as absolute trust existed, never thought he’d find someone who’d be on his side, no matter what.

Until he found Gus.

Gus, who’d done everything in his power to show him his love. And his vows at the ceremony only put words to the actions and confirmed what Luca knew in his heart.

Luca hadn’t been able to get through his own vows without sobbing. When Gus had started talking, tears had streamed down Luca’s cheeks, and he’d been thankful for the veil hiding his face. Gus’s deep voice had been full of emotion and had broken several times. Luca would remember every word, forever.

Luca. I wrote my vows the day after I asked you to marry me. I was so happy, my heart overflowing, and I couldn’t keep all my emotions inside. So I wrote them down. I practiced my words a million times, and if you were to wake me up in the middle of the night after a thirty-six-hour shift at the hospital, I would still be able to say them back to you.

But something happened today, something that made me reconsider my words. Only an hour before our wedding, when everything was supposed to be rainbows and unicorns, something happened. Something that made you really upset, and I…I need new words now.

So this is me. Unrehearsed. Speaking from the heart.

Luca. My sweet, darling Luca.

When we grow up, we’re told our parents will love us no matter what. Unfortunately, that’s not always true. Sometimes, the ones we count on to always have our backs are the ones who let us down the most.